When it comes to cutting people off, knowing when to do it plays a large role in your well-being and the overall quality of your life.
Whether it be a family member, close friend, or any human being who continually destroys your mental health, toxicity should never be tolerated.
Today, you’re going to figure out which toxic people need to GO.
As someone who was forced to cut people out of her life on many occasions, I can honestly say that this will be one of the most life-changing decisions you’ll ever make.
At first, the thought of a break-up with that toxic person can seem daunting. What if they keep pestering you? What if they can’t accept no for an answer? What if you regret it?
Let me tell you something: Those are all fear-induced thoughts. They’re perfectly normal, I promise.
To cut people off is serious business. But if this is something you’re legitimately considering, it must mean that you’ve reached your boiling point.
There have to be healthy boundaries to what people are allowed to do to do you. If you feel that someone has crossed them, it’s time to take action.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your high-school sweetheart. It doesn’t matter if it’s a long-time best friend. When you can’t be your true self, and your wellness is in jeopardy, cutting people off is the only solution.
There are types of people who’ll ALWAYS imply that you‘re the problem. But that’s okay! You don’t want them in your social circle anyway.
If you check off the boxes below, it’s high time to put your own life first and show these people the door.
When Is Cutting People Off The Right Thing To Do?
If any of the examples below ring a bell, it’s time to take control of your life and happiness. Take care of your mental health by disposing of anyone making you feel like this:
When you can no longer be your true self around them
This is the first red flag you need to acknowledge. Whether this is a family member who keeps making you feel inadequate or a close friend in whose presence you constantly have to put on a mask, enough is enough.
You can’t go through life pretending to be someone you’re not. You can’t keep people around who weigh you down.
When you feel an insufferable pressure to play a part just to satisfy someone else, ask yourself for how long.
When will you realize that if you can’t show your true self around a person, they’re not (and never will be) good for you?
When being in their company becomes draining and exhausting
Lately, you’ve been coming to terms with the fact that this person keeps draining you of all your energy.
Being around them no longer makes you feel happy. Quite the contrary, their presence is exhausting, and you cannot remember the last time you felt comfortable around them.
What I just described is NOT a reflection of a healthy relationship. This is the doing of a toxic individual whose poison is ruining you.
Here’s an idea: Stop letting them!
See also: 7 Signs It’s ‘Love Bombing’ And Not Real Love
When they negatively affect your self-esteem
They never make you feel good about yourself, and when you’re around them, you don’t feel supported. In fact, you never feel worse about yourself than when you’re in their company.
There are people out there who feed on others’ insecurity and lack of self-confidence. This is mostly because they don’t have any themselves, and this makes them feel empowered.
I’ve had people in my life in whose company I always felt at my worst. I’d feel ignorant, incapable, unworthy, and like I couldn’t do or say anything right.
This person was someone I’d known since high school. Today, we’re completely out of touch, and I don’t miss them one bit.
While I don’t wish harm on anyone, there’s no denying that losing certain people makes room for so much air.
Don’t be afraid to take that step. Create distance in your mind and then do it in real life too. Only after letting them go will you realize how much better life is in their absence.
When they offer nothing but ungratefulness and negativity
Negative people are the worst. Sure, we all have our bad days, but you have to be able to find some positivity. Otherwise, it becomes intoxicatingly bad for everyone.
If this sounds familiar, and there’s someone in your life whose ungratefulness and negative attitude weigh you down, step away from them and see how it feels.
My bet is, you’ll experience instant relief. Your mood will improve, your zest for life will return, and you’ll feel a gazillion times better about life. Sometimes, it’s THAT simple.
When they discourage you instead of encouraging you
In romantic relationships, as well as every other meaningful relationship in your life, support and encouragement are vital.
When you don’t have that, there’s nothing the relationship can thrive on. Two people who love each other should always push the other one to reach their full potential.
Secretly hoping your loved one fails is a toxic trait that allows the other person to feel better than you.
Don’t let anyone around you dissuade you from your dreams. You deserve someone in your corner who’ll cheer you on, not limit your ambitions and potential.
When you realize that you’re the worst version of yourself around them
It’s time to say goodbye the moment you start feeling like their toxicity is rubbing off on you. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve fallen under their spell.
Instead, remove yourself from the equation. The minute you stop feeling like yourself, take action, and put an end to it.
These people are skillful in making others stoop to their level. It happens gradually, without you even noticing it at first. This is why you should always trust your gut feeling.
When something starts feeling off, believe it, and resist it. Simple as that!
See also: 7 Sentences Psychopaths and Manipulators Use to Break You In a Relationship
When you can’t depend on them for ANYTHING
Reliability is so important. You deserve people around you who will be there to pick you up when you fall.
When you think about it, it’s not that much to ask for. You’re always there to lend a helping hand to a loved one in need.
When you promise to do something, you do it. When you’re asked for a favor, you do it, no questions asked. So why would you accept anything less when it comes to you?
If there are people in your life who flake on you, give you false promises, and NEVER show up for you, cut them off. They’ll never be what you need them to be.
A Guide On How To Cut People Out Of Your Life
Cutting people off requires a clear head, a strong mind, and perseverance. Remember, this is a self-care decision that is necessary for your personal growth and happiness.
Accept that distancing yourself from toxic people is a gradual process
Just like a healthy relationship takes time to grow and become what it needs to be, a toxic one takes time to fully dissolve.
Through no fault of your own, of course. Toxic individuals are simply too full of themselves to let you go just like that.
Don’t let this stop you from doing the right thing. Stay away from them and create as much distance as you need. Let them plead, beg, and fill your head with nonsense.
Over time, they’ll bore themselves to death, and you’ll finally be able to cut the cord for good.
See also: 4 Differences Between A Genuine Connection And A Toxic Attachment
Act on what YOU feel, not on how they try to make you feel
A lot of times, toxic people will attempt to make you feel like you’re at fault for cutting them off. Don’t fall for it.
You know yourself. You know what your gut feeling is telling you. Do what feels right, not what they try to convince you is right.
This break-up (no matter what kind) is exactly what you need to finally start feeling like yourself again.
Don’t attempt to logically level with them (they’ll NEVER see your point)
These types of people will never see your point (nor do they want to). All they care about is pursuing what they want and disregarding you in the process.
You can try to make them understand you and your feelings all you want, but it’s a futile battle. Don’t fight it.
Instead, be short and clear about how you intend to proceed, and don’t expect them to be rational about it. They’re far too arrogant and self-important for that.
Do it in a public place (for a sense of safety and less drama)
Ending a toxic relationship of any kind is always going to be exhausting. While it’s 100% what you need to do, it’s still going to take time and energy out of you.
My advice – do it somewhere public. The reasoning is quite simple, less chance of drama and to provide a sense of safety for you.
Even if they do start acting excessively aggressive, you can always get up and leave. Better yet, call a friend to pick you up, and go do something to forget about this mess.
Block them on all your social media accounts
Blocking them on social media is every bit as important as blocking them in real life. Resort to ghosting if need be, but don’t let them in your life in any capacity.
Make sure they cannot contact you by blocking them wherever possible.
It’ll give you much-needed peace of mind, plus it’s easier getting over someone without them constantly blowing up your phone.
You’re just one click away from scrolling down your feed without worrying whether their name will pop up and ruin your day.
See also: Find Out If You Should Post Your Ex On Social Media & MUCH More
Don’t fall into their trap and start arguing
They will try to goad you into arguing. DON’T fall for it. A lot of people who are faced with their bad actions will stoop so low and try to make you join them.
This is their final attempt to drag you down with them. Keep a level head and believe in what you’re doing. There’s no explaining something to a person who’s adamant not to get it.
Falling back into the toxicity will be tempting, and to avoid it, you need to reaffirm your healthy boundaries and cut all ties with them.
When you’ve said all you have to say, get up and leave knowing you did the right thing.
Put all the benefits of losing them in writing to keep you from reaching out
This is something I did, and I couldn’t recommend it more. For the sake of being brutally honest, I have to say that cutting someone out of your life is in no way easy.
At the end of the day, you’re only human, and guess what? You will experience conflicted emotions about this.
This doesn’t mean that your decision wasn’t justified (it 100% was), but losing someone, no matter how toxic, leaves a hole in your life that you have to learn to live with.
This is why writing down how cutting them off has improved your life is SO important! It will help you stay on the right path when you feel like reaching out.
It’ll remind you of all the times they sucked the energy right out of you. And it’ll be your saving grace on the days when you start questioning your decision.
Eventually, you’ll realize how liberated and profoundly happy you are without them. Until then, this move will keep you sane.
See also: 10 Toxic & Destructive Characteristics Of An Envious Person
20 Cutting People Off Quotes To Help You Get Rid Of The Drama
These EPIC cutting people off quotes & toxic people sayings perfectly sum up why cutting ties with bad people is healing and beyond necessary.
1. “Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.”―Israelmore Ayivor
2. “Always remember that you were once alone, and the crowd you see in your life today are just as unnecessary as when you were alone.”―Michael Bassey Johnson
3. “Cutting people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. Not everyone is meant to stay.”―Unknown
4. “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.”―John Mark Green
5. “People appear like angels until you hear them speak. You must not rush to judge people by the color of their cloaks, but by the content of their words!”―Israelmore Ayivor
6. “No matter how valuable you are and your ideas, fools will certainly play both of you down, so exclude yourselves from the inflammatory environs of fools.”―Michael Bassey Johnson
7. “Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fear of giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!”―Yvonne Pierre
8. “It’s no good to physically distance yourself from someone in your life if you’re just gonna let them live in your mind.”―Curtis Tyrone Jones
9. “Toxic people choose to judge you and treat you badly, based on their assumptions and perceptions they have about you, not based on what you did or said. You will defend yourself to people whom you will never be right. It is not what you did, but it is what they think of you.”―De philosopher DJ Kyos
10. “The idea is quite simple, stay a light year away from people who make you feel less about yourself.”―Mohith Agadi
11. “I found peace of mind when I walked away from small fights not worth fighting. I stopped fighting for people who gossiped about me. I stopped fighting for those who didn’t respect me. I quit worrying about those who wouldn’t value me for being me.”―Dana Arcuri
12. “How you choose to feel today should not be dependent on others.”―Anthon St. Maarten
13. “Don’t confuse ‘familiar’ with ‘acceptable.’ Toxic relationships can fool you like that.”―Steve Maraboli
14. “The best emotional relief is not venting our problems; that only fuels the pain. It is focusing on something else, taking control of our lives and staying away from people that keep reminding us about our problems.”―Rodolfo Peon
15. “We don’t get to choose our family, but we can choose our friends. With courage, we can weed out narcissistic people. We can focus on those who do appreciate us, love us, and treat us with respect.”―Dana Arcuri
16. “I am worth more than these excuses. I am worth more than this inconsistent, unhealthy, disappointing dynamic. I am worthy of finding someone that is never going to allow us to settle into this toxic, distorted version of love.”―Liz Newman
17. “If you’ve ever met an energy vampire (and you probably have), you’ll get the distinct feeling that this person has an intense need to prey off the vitality of others. There is a kind of acute neediness present in energy vampires which can be quite overwhelming and depleting to those they come in contact with.”―Mateo Sol
18. “If you are going to hide and you will not stand against the work of the bad people, you have given them an endorsement.”―Israelmore Ayivor
19. “May you reach that level within, where you no longer allow your past or people with toxic intentions to negatively affect or condition you.”―Lalah Delia
20. “You will meet a lot of people in your life; some will laugh with you, others will laugh at you; some will love to clean your mess, others will love to mess you up! Love all, but choose carefully the one who stays close to you forever!”―Israelmore Ayivor
See also: This Is How To Stop Being Codependent In 16 Powerful Ways
Never Feel Guilty For Cutting Toxic People Off
As long as there are people in your life whose presence ruins your self-worth, you’ll never be able to breathe.
You should NEVER feel bad for sticking up for yourself and putting your needs first. This is always the right decision.
For a while, this was a tough pill to swallow for me. I kept questioning my every move and wondering if how I felt was somehow self-inflicted. I was being weak and scared of being by myself.
Here’s the thing about loneliness, though: Getting rid of bad people will NEVER make you feel alone. Quite the contrary, it will only add to your life.
Cut people out when that feels like the only thing left to do. You don’t owe them a thing. Be strong and assertive, and never let your fears control you. Don’t be a bystander in the story of your life.
Don’t think about them, and never wonder how they’re doing. Why would you? They never thought about you, and they most certainly aren’t now.
When you realize how toxic people erode your life, it’ll become harder to allow them in.
With time, you’ll start fiercely protecting your peace, and that will result in your social circle becoming a safe haven.
You’ll finally be able to be happy, do whatever is right for you, and just breathe! All you have to do is make up your mind.
Value yourself over someone else’s dysfunction, and let this be a year where prioritizing your happiness trumps ALL else.