There is a thin line between love bombing and the emotional displays of someone who is genuinely in love. That’s why love bombing is so hard to detect.
It usually starts off as a fairy tale but it ends in disaster.
Love bombing is one of the most common techniques narcissists and sociopaths use to lure you in, gain power and maintain control over their victims.
Signs of love bombing are not easily recognizable however they will differ from real love displays in some ways.
1. Love bombers will move way too fast
When things sound too good to be true, that’s because they usually are.
If you meet a guy who is ready to commit, tells you he loves you and wants you to meet his family only after few dates, it’s something that, in most cases, signals danger
When you are in a healthy relationship, things take time to develop. They progress slowly, one step at a time—getting to know each other on a deeper level, connecting, sharing, overcoming obstacles and so on.
If your partner wants to skip all this, you should try to slow him down. If you can’t, that’s definitely something to worry about.
2. They will constantly praise you
He will tell you how beautiful, smart, cute, hot…you are and he will take it to extremes. He won’t miss a chance to worship you and your existence.
He will text he misses you every chance he gets when you are not together. He will post photos of you, songs and long meaningful texts on social media very early on.
If he is exaggerating and making you uncomfortable, there is something to it. Also, compliments are more than welcome except when they just become too much, especially if you don’t remember having so many meaningful conversations with him.
This is something you should watch out for.
3. They will shower you with gifts
Every time you see each other, he brings you something. It can be a flower, chocolate or something more expensive. In a way, he will try to buy your love every chance he gets.
Like with everything he does he will go over the top. The occasional gift here and there is ok, but is there really a need to bring something every chance he gets?
4. Love bombers always say the right thing at the right time
By default, men and women are not the same and there is a slim chance they will get each other every time. Love bombers will get it right almost every time.
They will tell you exactly what you want to hear—not because they care but because they are usually highly intelligent, and they use that to prey on your insecurities, so they can manipulate you later on.
They will be as attentive as they can be when you are talking about something that went wrong, how a certain situation made you feel or how you did something in the past that you regret.
They will hold on to your every word just so they can use it against you later on.
5. They are making you believe that you have known them for ages
Right from the start, they will start telling you that you are soulmates, you belong together, you connect in a way nobody can. But do you really know them?
Ask yourself: what did he share about himself, his family, his past? If you notice that you are the only one sharing and he is only going on and on about how incredible you are, he might be avoiding talking about himself.
Feeling some sort of connection and chemistry at the beginning is normal. But you have to be realistic about everything and see if you really know the person or whether it is just something that he has you believing.
6. They hate to be questioned
If you start asking questions like: “How do you know you love me?” , “How do you know we are soulmates?”, “Isn’t it still early for all of that?” , “Aren’t you moving a bit too fast?”, he will become defensive and he won’t like any of those questions.
He might even get annoyed or angry because he is not used to this kind of situation. He is not used to someone questioning his words and actions, and this is a whole other dimension for him.
This is probably the only situation in which he won’t have all the right answers. And these are the questions you should ask to see his reaction.
7. They get jealous over nothing
Let’s say you are having a girl’s night out for the first time after you started dating. There is nothing wrong with it, but he is making you feel guilty.
He is saying things like: “I thought that we are doing something tonight?” , “ Are you really leaving me alone?”, “Do you really have to go? I will miss you.”
By doing this, he is guilt-tripping you into staying by his side instead of going out, and if you go, you will still be under the impression that he is oh so lonely at home.
He also might have other types of jealous displays. In any case, it’s not a good sign and you should be careful about it.
It’s not easy to tell if somebody is genuinely in love and going over the top to make you happy or they are love bombing you because they have some hidden agenda.
In any case, you have to be careful and watch out for the red flags.
The honeymoon period of a relationship is the most important part for the love bombers because that’s the part that lets them get under your skin.
So, later on, when their behavior shifts and starts getting worse and worse, you are unaware of what’s going on exactly.
You start convincing yourself that it’s just a phase and they will change back to who they were at the beginning.
It’s important to know the signs of love bombing, so you will be able to recognize and avoid it. But more importantly, you have to rely on your gut feeling.
If you feel like something is off trust that feeling.
Leave any situation in which you don’t feel completely comfortable.