My husband was an emotional sneaky bastard—a complete psycho. He was physically, sexually and most importantly, emotionally abusive.
Let me tell you just one thing—words f**king HURT! He knew that and that was his strongest weapon!
When we split, after 12 years of marriage, it hit me—a sudden realization, a summing up if you will, of those horrible 12 years of hell.
He slowly smuggled his psychotic self into my life, he abused me emotionally and I didn’t even notice it. I knew that something was not right, but I didn’t know what—not until we split (and dear God, thank you for that).
These psychotic people have a special skill—you won’t be aware you’re being abused emotionally.
Read the clues and learn from my experience and maybe you will save yourself (as I eventually did).
He makes you believe you are responsible for everything
Emotional psychopaths aren’t always mean. They can charm you with their words until the cows come home. They have the power of convincing and they never get bored.
One minute you’re fighting and the other he’s telling you: “It is ok babe. It’s not your fault you’re emotional. You can’t help yourself”.
You actually end up believing you are the one to blame for the fight and he is the one who is there for you to make you feel better.
He’s gaslighting you
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser uses false information and presents it to the victim, making the victim doubt his or her own sanity—an emotional abuser’s favorite tactic.
One day I accidentally saw a few emails my husband carelessly left open, and I realized he was cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he started yelling at me.
He was saying he can’t believe I can think of something like that, that I’m insane, that I don’t trust him…this went on for a few days.
Soon enough, I began to doubt myself. I started thinking maybe he was right. Maybe I am the one who is crazy. Maybe I misread the whole thing.
When your psychotic partner doesn’t have an excuse, he’ll create one and he will make you feel like you’re the ‘crazy one’.
He blames you for everything
This may look similar to the first one, but it’s not. Every time he has a problem, he’ll find a way to blame you for that.
If he has problems at work, he will make you think you’re the one to blame because you are stressing him out at home.
If he gets a speeding ticket, it’s your fault because you got him so angry he blew off steam by driving too fast.
The bottom line is, however you look at it, it is always your fault because emotional psychopaths are always right.
He destroys you
Emotional psychopaths are wusses who don’t have anything better to do in their lives than to control you.
They feed you with toxic thoughts to prevent you from thinking you’re a smart, beautiful and strong person.
Their goals are to make you believe you are stupid and useless and they will succeed in that.
Once you start believing in that crap, you cling on to him even closer because you’re afraid he’s the best you will ever have.
Emotional psychopaths can make you believe anything they want.
He ‘wipes you out’
He simply isolates you from the rest of the world. He convinces you not to hang out with your friends because you don’t really need them—you have him.
And what is really hiding behind this is—he’s afraid your friends might talk some sense into you and encourage you to leave him.
He has spent so much time making you ‘perfect’ to let some friends of yours ruin you.
He lies perfectly
He was born this way. Pretty much everything he says is a lie.
He lies so perfectly that you would never doubt him and he is consistent. He never loses himself in that mess of lies he creates.
Even if you catch him lying, he will remain calm and all together. And he will lie his way out of that situation, too.
You’re fighting with anxiety and you don’t know why
You’re anxious and you can’t figure out why. Well, it’s because your whole relationship is wrong.
He is wrong. It’s because you don’t feel good in your relationship and you feel he is being disrespectful and mean for no good reason.
You think everything is your fault, and you blame yourself because he tricks you into doing that.
You think you are less worthy and you actually start to believe that you are lucky you have any kind of relationship in the first place.
You’re anxious because you overanalyze things which are so simple, only you can’t see them yet.
He is extremely rude to the people he has no interest in
He was only kind to you and he only bothered to impress you.
He doesn’t care about other people and is never kind to anyone.
On contrary, he is extremely rude and unpleasant.
That’s because he doesn’t need anything from those people, so he doesn’t hide his real face and treats them like crap.
When he actually needs someone’s help, he turns on his full charm and of course gets what he wants.
Afterwards, you’re just another face in the crowd for him—completely irrelevant and non-existent.
He WILL convince you he loves you the most and he is the only person you should trust.
What a sneaky bastard!