Are you involved in an affair with a married woman? Are you completely sure that you’re aware of all the consequences that dating a married woman brings with it?
Love is sometimes such a weird thing.
Our heart can be so completely blind when we fall in love. Even if we’re aware that a person is wrong for us, sometimes, no matter what we do to try and forget them, our heart just won’t listen to us.
Yes, other people may give you some advice like, “Forget about her, there are many single women who would like to date you,” but no, our heart doesn’t understand it because it only has eyes for that particular woman, even though she’s taken.
I know just how you feel. I’ve been there and it’s not good at all. There’s a constant fight going on, a fight between your heart and your mind and it’s not comfortable.
The best advice a man who has been through all of that before can give you is that you should always know where you actually stand with a married woman and what you really want and expect from that love affair.
It’s probably best for you to end that affair and save yourself from getting your heart broken in the end.
However, if your love is stronger than everything, she can, of course, leave her husband and be with you.
The dangers of dating a married woman
Having an affair with a married woman comes with consequences and if you’re sure that you want to go down that dangerous path, if you really can’t make your heart forget about that woman, here are some things you should definitely know.
Her husband might find out about your affair at any moment
You can never forget that she’s married and you must be careful about it, especially if she doesn’t mean anything special to you, if it’s only a casual relationship.
Always be on your guard when you are texting or when arranging a new meeting.
Also, text messages are probably a better option for you because you can easily be busted with phone calls. Another tip is that both of you should label each other as different names in your contact lists.
If her husband finds out that you’ve been seeing each other for some time, you can never be sure what he might do to you.
If their marriage was just fine, if they haven’t talked about getting a divorce, you can understand how angry he would be if he finds out about her betrayal. He’s just a married man who’ll do anything to protect his family.
That’s the thing you should be worried about the most.
You aren’t the only man in her life
If you’ve really fallen in love with that woman, the thought that you aren’t the only man in her life will haunt you all the time.
You’ll ask yourself all the time whether she really does love you and if you will ever be able to have a more serious relationship; that is, if she’s ever going to leave her hubby.
You won’t be able to continue seeing each other in secret anymore. You’ll want more, from her and from your relationship. You’ll be so disappointed once you ask her to leave him and she rejects that proposal.
If you love a married woman, you have to be prepared to get your heart broken.
That’s especially possible if she has children because it’ll be even more difficult for her to break up her family, even if she also really loves you.
Your self-esteem will suffer
If you do fall in love with her, you’ll ask yourself the whole time why she can’t leave her husband for you. You’ll start competing with him and that will have a huge effect on your self-esteem.
In this type of relationship, the lover is almost always jealous of the husband and while wishing to win the heart of their lady, they try to be more like their spouse.
You’ll start thinking that he’s better than you and you’ll start changing yourself completely. At one point, you’ll realize that you’ve just lost yourself in that relationship.
She probably won’t break up her family for you
In most cases, married people who are involved in extramarital affairs won’t break up their families for some passing affair and this might be the case with your woman too.
This is especially if she has children. She’ll be frightened that her husband might take the kids after he finds out about her betrayal and if you ever ask her to choose between her family and you, she’ll choose them.
You have to understand that she is in a long-term relationship with her husband and she’s probably just using you to break the monotony of married life.
Maybe she does honestly love you but her kids will always be her priority.
Your family might be disappointed if they find out
Enough talking about her family, how would your family react if they found out that you’re having an affair with a married woman?
Of course, they would accept it over time because they love you but they would be disappointed at first for sure.
If they are religious then you already know what their beliefs on monogamy and matrimony are.
They’ll probably never have respect for your other half, even if she divorces her husband one day to be with you only because they’ll always consider her as a cheater.
Maybe she just wants revenge and she’s using you for it
If you know that she’s married and you have been seeing each other for some time already, you should be able to ask her why she is cheating on her husband.
If it’s more than some casual hookup for both of you, then you’ll also be talking about stuff from your lives. Ask her how her relationship with her husband is and ask about their marriage in general.
If you have some common friends, you should try to find out some things about her marriage from them too. But be careful, don’t give them any reasons to wonder if you two are seeing each other.
If you find out that her husband did the same to her, that he cheated on her first, then the reason why she is with you is probably to get even with him.
She’s just using you to get her revenge and even if the affair doesn’t mean anything to you, you shouldn’t allow her to use you.
She may be using you to bring back some excitement into her life and break the monotony
If you are aware that you’re falling in love with a married woman, you should have an honest talk with her. Ask her about her marriage and why she started dating you in the first place.
Find out what you really mean to her and if she would ever leave her husband to be with you. Ask her to be honest and tell her that you have feelings for her and that you don’t want to have any false hopes from her.
Again, don’t ever allow anyone to use you in any way.
If you don’t feel that she’s being honest with you or if you think that she’s with you only because of physical pleasure, leave her and let her find another man who’ll break her everyday monotony.
Maybe she’s just seeking comfort in you
If she doesn’t have a healthy and happy marriage, and she doesn’t while she’s seeing you, she is probably doing it only because she needs a shoulder to cry on.
She needs you to tell her how beautiful she looks or how happy she deserves to be because her husband doesn’t treat her so well.
She’ll probably be with you until her husband and her rekindle their relationship.
If she talks constantly about her marriage when you’re together then that’s an obvious sign that she loves her husband but she needs someone to comfort her when things aren’t so good between them.
There’s always a risk that she’ll be unfaithful to you too
She is already cheating on her husband with you, right? So how can you be so sure that she isn’t cheating on both of you with some third man?
If you fall in love with her, you’ll be wondering this all the time. If you met on a dating site, it’ll be even worse because you’ll think that she’ll have another lover there just like she found you.
You’ll start following her around and spying on her just to see if there is anyone else.
If she ever leaves her husband because of you, you’ll always be thinking about how she might cheat on you with someone just like she cheated on her ex with you.
She might break up with you soon
If you’re dating a married woman, you should always be prepared for the breakup. Don’t fall too hard for her because you’ll definitely hurt yourself that way.
If she doesn’t have any plans to leave her husband and get a divorce, the first time she finds out that someone knows about your affair, she’ll leave you.
She probably won’t risk losing her family because of you, no matter how much you really mean to her. You must know that she would pick her children over you at any time.
Positive sides of having an affair with a married woman
Believe it or not, there are actually some advantages and positive sides of dating a married woman. The bottom line is that it’s all up to you, whether you want someone to share your life with or you’re there just for fun.
She doesn’t expect anything from you
If you aren’t ready for a serious relationship, a married woman will enjoy having just a casual relationship with you and she won’t expect you to give her more than you’re already giving her.
She doesn’t have any expectations, she doesn’t expect you to always be there for her, to reply to her text messages immediately or to stop dating other girls…
The thing is that she’s happy with things as they are and she also doesn’t want more from you.
You’ll have a great intimate relationship
Most married people cheat because they aren’t pleased with their intimate life, right? That means that she’ll give and want everything from you that she can’t get from her husband.
She’ll probably have some weird fantasies that her husband doesn’t like. She might buy some costumes on Amazon to shake up the things that happen behind your closed doors.
She’ll never ask you to change
She doesn’t consider your relationship serious, so she’ll accept you the way you are because she knows that you’re just temporarily in her life.
She won’t ask you to change in any way, even though you’ll have differences and disagreements like all other couples, because she plans to stay with her husband and you’re there just for fun and pleasure.
She’s not demanding at all
Let’s be clear here, I’m not saying that the opposite sex is demanding when they’re in serious and ‘regular’ relationships, I’m just trying to say that a married woman will never have any demands from you.
You won’t have to meet her parents, hang out with her girlfriends, take her shopping, buy her gifts for every occasion, text her where you are all the time..
She has only one demand from you and that is to give her the passion and pleasure she’s missing in her marriage.
There are fewer chances of venereal diseases
We all know how important it is to be careful when we’re intimate with someone. There are so many people who have some type of venereal disease today and we all must be cautious.
A married woman probably doesn’t change partners; she has a lover and maybe she still has intimate relations with her husband.
That’s why this is one of the few positive sides of dating a married woman. If you consider it just a casual relationship, then you’ll probably see other women at the same time and in that case, this is irrelevant to you.
Still, always be very, very careful.
You can end it whenever you want
You don’t have to think about the consequences or if anyone will be hurt. You can end this affair whenever you want and you don’t have to worry about how you do it because she probably won’t even care.
If you get bored with her or her husband finds out about your affair, you can simply write her a text or call her to see her one last time and say it in person.
The best thing is that you won’t feel bad about it because you’re already aware that it was bad being in that affair.
However, this advantage, like almost all the others, is really advantageous only if you don’t feel anything for her and don’t consider your relationship important at all.
9 signs you’re dating a married woman
Many people today have a lack of commitment and that’s the main reason why there are more and more married couples who are involved in extramarital affairs.
Today, women cheat more often too; however, they hide it better than men do.
Because of that, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether the woman you just started seeing is married or not.
If you have any doubts and think that you may be dating a married woman, here are some signs that’ll clear it up for you.
She never talks about her family life
Whenever you ask her about her family, does she immediately change the subject? If she has a painful past and doesn’t want to talk about it, she can say that directly, as she shouldn’t be trying to avoid that subject completely.
Talk about your family and then ask her something about hers. If she still doesn’t want to talk about it even after some time, that is one of the most obvious signs that she is hiding something or someone from you.
Her place is off-limits
You often have dates at your place or in a motel, but she has never even invited you to her place. You probably don’t even know where she lives.
If so, you should confront her about it. Ask her what her address is or if she ever leaves something at your place, text her to tell you where she lives so you can take it to her.
If she tries to avoid it or says that she’ll get it the next time you see each other, then she probably doesn’t want you to find out where she lives because she doesn’t live there alone.
She can never spend the whole night with you
If you ask her several times to spend the night at your place and she always refuses, then it’s probably because someone’s waiting for her back at home.
Also, one of the reasons why cheaters don’t want to spend the whole night with their lover is because they don’t want to get too attached.
They’re in that affair only because of physical pleasure and they don’t want to get too involved in that relationship.
She avoids the topic of making your relationship public
Maybe she asked you to keep your relationship secret in the beginning because she still wasn’t sure that it was going to work but if she keeps asking that even after some time, it is definitely strange.
If you aren’t okay with having just a casual relationship, you should talk to her about it.
Ask her what the problem is and why you can’t date normally, hold hands in public and go to whichever restaurant you like. If you don’t want to hide, you shouldn’t.
If she still insists on dating in secret, leave her and wait for a girl who’ll be proud to say loudly to the world that you’re her boyfriend.
You can’t call or text her when you want
If she has told you that you can’t text her or call her and that she’ll be the one who’ll contact you for the next date, you can assume that she’s hiding something.
You should call her in the middle of the day once to see what happens.
If she doesn’t answer and she gets angry because you didn’t listen to her, she definitely has another man in her life who she doesn’t want to find out that you’re dating.
She never allows you to post anything about your relationship on social media
If she says that she doesn’t use any social media or she has an account using a fake name, there is definitely something suspicious about it because who doesn’t use at least one social media platform today.
You should get to the bottom of that.
If you’re dating, of course you should be able to post your photos on your social media and if she isn’t okay with that and doesn’t allow you to do so, that’s a good sign that she doesn’t want others to find out about your relationship.
You have never met any of her friends or co-workers
If you’ve been dating or seeing each other for some time, you should’ve met some of her friends or at least her co-workers.
If you haven’t met any yet, you should take her to meet your friends and maybe ask her if you can meet hers or to all go out together sometime.
You never spend a holiday or some other special occasion together
Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are beautiful only because we spend them with the people we love.
And it’s perfectly normal that you want to spend it with your romantic partner.
If she always rejects your invitation to spend a holiday together, that’s probably because she spends them with another man.
You should, for example, go to her place on her birthday and surprise her that way and see what happens.
She always behaves mysteriously
If she always hides her phone, doesn’t want to answer her calls in front of you, doesn’t talk about her past, never wants to go to certain restaurants or she is always in a hurry when you’re together, that’s definitely mysterious.
If you’re dating, you should be honest and open up to her about those things that bother you.
Ask her why she is so mysterious and secretive and confront her with your thoughts that she might be married or in a long-term relationship with another man.
To wrap up
Dating a married woman has its advantages and disadvantages. It’s up to you to decide which are more important and what you should do with that affair.
Your male pride probably won’t be able to stand the fact that you’re only the option or that you must share the woman you love with another man.
On the other hand, your heart probably won’t be so strong to stop loving her even though you know that she’s already taken.
However, the choice is really hard. You can’t only believe her words that she’ll leave her husband, you must ask for some proof and actions.
Even if you’re completely and honestly in love with her, don’t allow her to make a fool out of you. She’ll probably never leave her family because of you and you should be aware of this.
Deep down, you’ll always know that your relationship was never meant to last.
Enjoy life and think about your future and making your own family one day and all those other important things in life that you will never be able to have with her.