When you first walked away from me, besides being devastated, I was also terrified.
How could I ever go on with my life without you by my side?
How could I ever be happy when I didn’t have you?
How could I ever accomplish anything without you holding my hand?
While I was with you, I ceased to exist as an individual.
I wasn’t a woman, a daughter or a friend anymore–I was nothing but your girlfriend, and I thought that was more than enough for me to have a purpose in life.
You were the man who completed me.
You were my rock, my support, and the only person I thought I could have relied on.
You were my savior and my guardian angel.
The man who led me through life, and the man I couldn’t imagine myself living without.
The man I wasn’t capable of living without.
At least, that was what I thought.
That was what you tried hard to make me believe and ended up convincing me of even though the truth was completely the opposite.
It took me a while but I finally got it–all of this time, you were just intimidated by me.
You did everything in your power to make me emotionally dependent on you and to lower my self-esteem because that was the only way for you not to feel inferior to me.
You just wanted to drag me down to your level because it was the only way for you to feel better about yourself and for you to feel that you were man enough.
However, here I am, living my life without you.
Here I am, walking through every day more powerful than I ever was. Here I am, stronger than ever.
I survived against all odds, didn’t I? I recovered.
I rose from the ashes of my shattered heart.
I’ve glued myself back together, and apparently, you didn’t succeed in breaking me when you broke my heart.
I guess that I didn’t lose much when I lost you… instead, I found my true self–the independent, fierce and badass woman I am today.
So you leaving me wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be after all. Instead, it turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
Obviously, instead of it being a curse–it was a blessing. Obviously, I would have never found myself if I hadn’t lost you.
If it weren’t for you walking away on me, I would never have known that I can make it by myself, without anyone, including you, having my back.
I wouldn’t have been aware of my inner strength and everything I am capable of.
I wouldn’t have known that I am a complete person on my own and that I don’t need any man to give my life meaning or to make my existence worthwhile.
That I don’t need anyone to confirm my value or to give me assurance that I am good enough.
If I hadn’t lost you, I wouldn’t have known that I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am.
I would never have accepted my flaws as parts of my personality, and I wouldn’t have known how amazing of a woman I actually am.
I wouldn’t have realized that I should never change for anyone’s sake nor should I modify myself to be more likeable to others or to fit some guy’s standards.
If you hadn’t backed out on me and abandoned me when I needed you the most, I wouldn’t have become my own hero.
I wouldn’t know that I am capable of healing and fixing myself without anyone’s assistance.
I would never have realized that I am the only one fully responsible for my happiness.
That I can’t expect any man in this world to ever make me happy unless I do it myself first.
That a man’s job isn’t to give me purpose–it’s just to make my already amazing life a little bit better.
Most importantly, if I hadn’t lost you, I would never have found the self-love I desperately needed.
I wouldn’t have known that I have to appreciate, respect, and love myself before expecting anyone else to do it.
So thank you. Thank you for walking out on me, for dumping me, and for betraying me the way you did.
Thank you for turning me into a better version of myself even though that was the last thing you had the intention of doing and the last thing I expected to happen.
