If I ever walk away from you, I want you to know that it was because of you. You were the one who never loved me as madly as I loved you. You were the one who never gave me credit for the good things I did for you. You never made me feel worthy.
You never made me feel that I was enough.
It is a fact that I still love you but I don’t think I will be able to live like this anymore. Can’t you see that I crave love? Can’t you see that I look at those couples walking down the street, hugging, imagining that you would do that to me? Can’t you see that I am suffering? So, I really don’t know why you say that you love me and then you treat me like shit. What’s the point? Maybe you are confused and you don’t know what you want from your life but darling that is not my problem. You need to get your shit together if you want to stay with me. You need to make some effort to make this work. I can’t be the only one trying. I somehow feel that I am constantly craving something that you can’t provide me.
I feel that no matter how good I am, I will never be good enough for you.
And no matter how much I trust you, you will never trust me the same way. I guess I am not a priority to you and I don’t want to feel like that because it sucks. When I love, I love to the maximum and I want the other side to feel the same. I don’t want an almost relationship because that is something that I don’t deserve. In fact, nobody deserves that. We all deserve someone who will be sincere from the beginning. If you love someone, then that is great but if you don’t, then it is time to let them be someone else’s perfect partner.
So, before I say goodbye to you, I just want you to know that it wasn’t an easy decision for me.
I hesitated for a long time about letting you go and walking away but now I see that it was the best decision I could have made. And I think that by doing this I did you a favor. I think that once you see what it feels like to live without me, you will finally realize that the way you treated me wasn’t the right way to treat a woman. So I expect you to change for the better and to treat every woman who comes into your life the way she deserves.
I need to turn my back on you and when I am about to leave I will never look back.
Because I know that if I ever look back, I will instantly go back to you. Your fragrance in the air will attract me to you again and I won’t be able to resist. Your charming smile, which you always used as a way to win me back, will try and win me over again. Your hands around my waist will make me a prisoner of yours forever. So, I just want to leave and never look back. I want to leave the past where it belongs and I want to do it now. I realized that we are toxic to each other and that we will never manage to develop a healthy relationship.
For our love, there is no cure. I guess we will have to find a cure with different people and just learn from our experiences.
You will have to learn that you shouldn’t play with a woman’s feelings and I will learn not to trust every man who comes into my life right away. Next time, I will take it slow because I don’t want to be hurt again.
Maybe someday I will bump into you in the street. You won’t say anything and I will remain silent as well. Some new people will be with us and we will keep quiet because of them. Only you and I will know our secret. Only we will know that once we were one heart and one soul. And we will just put our heads down and walk away just like we never knew each other. But your fragrance in the air will remind me that you were the one who cowardly gave up on me.
And for the first time in my life, I will be happy about letting you go!