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Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Feels Like Being An All-In-One Family Appliance

Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Feels Like Being An All-In-One Family Appliance

What in the world is SAHM? you were probably wondering when you first encountered an abbreviation for a stay-at-home mom. The next thing you must’ve thought is “Well, it’s great, she gets to spend a day playing with the kids and rests on the couch watching Netflix”.

You have no idea!

To tell you the truth, the good side of being SAHM is that you have the chance to be present in your kids’ special moments. You’ll see their first steps, hear their first words, watch them learn and grow, comfort them when they cry… 

Besides witnessing their milestones there’s a lot more to do. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job that’ll require you to work overtime and you’ll have to deal with very ruthless and demanding bosses – your children.

For me, it all started when my pregnancy test read positive, I got over-excited and I decided:

“I want to be a supermom!”

When my older daughter, Emma, was born, I took a career break and became a stay-at-home mom. My idea of the role was quite different from what I experienced every day in my “tenure”.

Don’t get me wrong, we all love to spend time with our kids but sometimes it can be so draining and overwhelming. You’re juggling so many responsibilities on a daily basis. Compared to this, regular office multitasking seems like duck soup. You’re always on the clock!

Also, you’re wearing many hats.

“In the morning I am the babysitter”

We wake up, daddy leaves for work, and then my girls and I enjoy a looong breakfast. When it’s done we clean the messy table, and it’s playtime. Sometimes we go out in the yard or we stay in if it rains. 

I play with my baby girl and at the same time I help Emma with her homework. 

“I’m the family’s chef à la carte”

I cook separate meals for the baby and then I prepare the lunch for Emma and us, the grown-ups. Sometimes Emma refuses to eat the food that’s on the menu, so I always have a fast backup plan to fill her belly. 

Pasta always does the trick, but then after lunch, there’s a dish-jam at the kitchen top and in the sink. It’s time for the chef to roll up her sleeves and clean the mess.

“It’s school time and I become the driver”

I buckle up both of my daughters in the car seats and we are headed to school. After we drop Emma off, we stop by to get groceries and buy some household items.

Everything is put in the trunk and we can go back. When we arrive home, it’s nap time.

“When the baby is asleep I shapeshift into a housekeeper”

Finally, it’s time to put everything in the dishwasher. That pile of dirty laundry is weeping to go in the washing machine. I need to dust and vacuum the living room and sometimes the whole house. But before cleaning, I need to place the toys in the boxes first!

Finally, our home looks decent, the baby is still sleeping so I can move on to my next role.

“I’m the lady of the house and general affairs manager”

I make notes on appointments, and vaccination plans, draft another grocery list, and organize home appliance repairs if needed.

I check if the kids need new clothes or shoes, what didactic toys could be useful, and the flower seeds I got the other week should be planted now.

“At night I put my glasses on and transform into a finance manager”

Someone has to pay the bills to keep the water running and to have the lights on. I do budgets, accounts, and bills. Also, I plan our investments – maybe it’s time for a new stroller or a bicycle. 

Ok, I must admit my husband helps me sometimes, but with all these roles and duties, phew… I’m starting to feel a burnout coming my way.

“I can’t cope and I’m like ‘Babe, I’ve had enough!’”

He’s confused and doesn’t get it. I’m upset and emotional, feeling underappreciated for all I’ve been doing lately. He just goes to work and that’s all. I’m exhausted, of course I’m nervous and then he accuses me of spreading bad vibes. It’s just not fair!

This is OUR house and the kids are OUR kids, so it means we need to work together to keep everything tidy and make sure the kids are fed, happy, and healthy. I don’t have to take care of everything on my own, ALL THE TIME!

After spending several days fighting we finally found a common ground. This is our new deal.

“Sharing is caring! Even if it means we are sharing a burden.”

Exactly, we share all the duties. I get to keep my roles of chef, driver, and babysitter and he’s in charge of the general affairs and finances (with a little help from me, of course). Also, he cooks on the weekends. 😉

We split the housekeeping duties, so he’s responsible for the laundry, vacuuming, and dusting. I do the dishes and ironing.

So far so good. We are a dream team. 

So gurl, be clever and avoid overdoing it. You won’t be a supermom if you’re tired as a fading sunset. It’s not only about you, the kids deserve a happy mom, able to join their plays. 

Spare yourself! Make a plan upfront and share all the responsibilities with your hubby. I wish I knew this from the beginning.