Right now, you’re feeling like a deer in the headlights, having lost someone so integral to your life and well-being that you no longer feel like you can pull through. You feel weak.
All of the adventures you went on together, all of your cute date nights, nights spent talking and mornings cuddling, they are all gone now, and you feel like your heart can’t possibly take any more heartbreak. It is already spread too thin.
You pray that this is all just a haunting nightmare and that you will wake up next to his face in the morning and everything will be back to normal. But the reality is, it’s going to be difficult for a while, before it gets better.
A little while ago, I lost (who was then) the most important person in my life.
I didn’t see him as just my boyfriend, he was so much more to me. In the 3 years we spent together, he became my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my biggest supporter and constant companion.
Every struggle I endured seemed easier to overcome with him right by my side. And every happy moment was that much happier because I got to share it with him.
So, when he decided to leave me, you can imagine how devastating it was for me. It was the most difficult and challenging time of my life, that’s for sure.
Along with a lot of sadness, loneliness, and the inability to cope with it, I learned a few things in the process of getting over him that ultimately helped me push through and go back to who I was before.
So here are some things I found helpful along the way, to help you survive this and piece back together your broken heart.
Read this whenever you feel like you can’t go on anymore.
Time really does heal all wounds… or at least makes it easier.
Ending a meaningful, long-term relationship has to be one of the most difficult things one can endure. This is the person you were ready to commit your life to. This is the person who knows your heart better than anyone and is supposed to hold it close to his. This person is someone you trust more than anyone in the world. So, losing that person is more than just getting over a break-up.
It’s learning to live without a part of yourself. It’s learning to fill a hole in your soul that doesn’t seem to be able to heal. It’s missing something that made it feel whole and it’s going to be hard to replace that.
So, give yourself time. This is not something that is just going to go away. It’s going to take time and a lot of tears. You lost something profound… and you deserve all the time in the world to piece yourself back together. So, be kind to yourself. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit.
It’s okay to let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling, just don’t let it take over you.
After the initial shock and disbelief, you start burying yourself in your depressive thoughts that seem like a bottomless well.
You just can’t shake off all of the feelings of guilt and sadness, you’re over-analyzing every aspect of the relationship and you’re burying yourself deeper and deeper, where you can no longer function like other people.
It’s okay to let your emotions swim to the surface, it’s healthy and it’s the only way to cope with what you’re going through.
Just remember never to let it consume you. Don’t give yourself away too much. When you feel you’re slipping to the point of no return, ask for help. Call your mom or go out with your friends who will listen to you.
All these little things help a lot, I promise they do. You just have to find the will to snap out of it and decide it’s time to get better.
Put a lot of distance between and your ex. Get as far away from him as possible, for the sake of your soul.
I know it’s hard but you need to cut him out of your life in every way possible. Delete his number. Don’t stalk him online and never ask people about him.
You don’t want to know how he’s doing, because if you find out that he’s moved on faster than you, it will break you even more, and then, who’s going to pick up the pieces of your completely shattered heart?
Distance yourself from him and only focus on you and your recovery. You KNOW you can get through this.
Staying friends with an ex is almost never a good idea. In order to heal and move on, forget about him and just do YOU.
Things will fall into place again. They always do. You just need a little more time and you’ll be as good as new.