It’s not that I don’t love you. I do. With all of my heart. With that crazy kind of love which burns from inside, brightens up my day and gives the silence to my night. I love our story, the way we fell in love so madly that it left me wondering how could I ever have thought that I’m unlovable. It left me wondering whether the living before you was living at all? But right now, all I’m thinking about is gathering my strength to leave. Because, you see, I’m in love with you deeply and madly, but I’m done hurting. I’m done waiting for you because love alone is not enough.
It’s time for me to forget how your embrace feels and remember that I deserve more than to stare at the empty screen. I love how you make me feel safe and how good it feels to lose myself in you—just listening to your heartbeat and breathing in sync. But I don’t deserve the pain of staring at the empty screen. I don’t deserve all those nights I spent wondering what did I wrong. I don’t deserve to wonder whether you still love me. I need you to show it to me. Your words mean nothing. Sadly, they no longer do.
It’s time for me to forget how your lips feel on mine and remember that I deserve more than whatever this is now. Do you have any idea how it hurts to feel lonely next to you? How it hurts to smile only when I’m remembering how it used to be? I deserve to be happy, too. I deserve someone who will try and fight for me. I deserve someone who will make me feel like I’m actually worth the fight, not that I’m a burden. But no matter what is say and what I do, you just can’t see the pain in me. You can’t see the tears in my eyes and hear the shaking of my voice. You refused to see the distance between us and now, it has become too late.
It’s time for me to let go of all those memories that are binding me to you and remember that I deserve more than just reliving them. I deserve to make my dreams come true. I deserve a chance to make them happen. But I don’t deserve to put my life on hold just so yours could bloom. I was more than ready to do it because I love you, I do. But not once have you showed me that you are ready to do the same for me. Not once have you showed me that you care enough to give me support. This was never about us; it was always you. Only you.
It’s time for me to forget how much I love you and remember that you don’t deserve me anymore. You don’t deserve my heart, my love, my emotions. You no longer deserve them because you never knew how to give them back. You never knew how to make me feel loved, and I can’t keep on fighting for the both of us. You no longer deserve my support because you never realized that for a relationship, it takes two. It takes sacrifices from both of us. It takes us fighting together, not just me by myself. Love alone is not enough.
Love alone will not wipe away my tears that you caused. Love alone will not mend my broken heart, the one that you broke. Love alone cannot make this work, no matter how badly I want it. I need you to show me that you care, that you are willing to work with me. I need you to show me that you mean it when you say that you love me. I need to feel it, not just hear it. Because I’m sick of your words. I’m sick of broken promises and hoping in vain. And you and me both know that I deserve more than this.