Hey, you. I know you decided to read this as soon as you saw the word ‘abandonment’ in the title.

This is one of the most painful words for you to hear or read. You try to run away from it, but it’s like its haunting you whenever you look.

I know you have enormous emotional scars. As long as you can remember, people have left you hanging.

Those were people to whom you gave everything you had, but you got nothing in return. People who promised you the world and then turned their backs on you.

They were around as long as they needed you. You were good enough for them when you were taking care of their issues and resolving their problems.

But, as soon as you were the one who needed something, they were nowhere to be found. None of them appreciated all the sacrifices you were making and all the effort you were putting in.

pensive young woman sitting on the bench in park

They all abandoned you when you needed them the most and that is something that marked you for life. Friends, even family, but especially men treated you like this.

And I know you’ve changed. In the past, you were someone who had a lot of trust in men, someone who believed that there was something good in everyone in this world.

But, you were proven to be wrong. So, you’ve built thick walls around you. You’ve lost trust in people in general and especially in men.

And I know you are scared. You assume that every man that crosses your path will just look for ways to take advantage of you. He willuse you for his ego and to have someone around.

You are positive that you’ll never find someone who will try to heal you and who will understand everything you’ve gone through.

You think that nobody could ever love you. You are convinced that there must be something wrong with you, since everyone in your life has been treating you the same.

lonely young woman sitting on sofa

They’ve assured you that you are good for nothing and that you don’t deserve to be loved. So you’ve given up hope. You’ve given up the idea that true love will ever find you.

You think that no man will ever be ready to put up with you. There will never come a man who will try hard to heal all your wounds and who will convince you that not everyone is the same.

And you think it is better that way. You don’t give anyone a chance to get to know the real you because you think they will use you as soon as they see your vulnerable side.

So you carry this façade, this tough girl mask that chases men away from you—you think that is for the best.

That it is the only way to protect yourself from going through the things you’ve already gone through.

But, I am here to tell you not to give up. I am here to tell you that everything is going to be OK, although you probably don’t believe me.

pensive woman looking out of window

There will come a man who will love you, despite all of your insecurities. A man who willnever give up on you. A man who will know how to recognize the real you.

A man who will see the lost, scared girl you buried deep inside of you. This man will know that you are just waiting to be loved.

This man will know all about your fears. But, he won’t run away from them. Instead, he will fight them together with you.

He will know that your abandonment issues are a battle you can’t control and he’ll never blame you for has happened to you. Instead, he will understand.

He will understand everything you went through and he will understand that all of that made you the person you are today. But, most importantly, he will understand you.

And he will accept you. He will love you even when you get frustrated or scared. He will love you with all of your fears and trust issues.

woman sitting on the bench

He will love you with all of your problems and inner demons. He will never think of you as his burden.

Instead, this man will see right through your armour shield. He will see that you were broken. But, he’ll never try to use that against you.

Instead, he will cherish your sensitivity and vulnerability. He will take care of you and you’ll never overwhelm him.

This man will be patient with you. He’ll understand everything you went through and he won’t expect you to open up to him right away.

He’ll know that you can’t trust him from the very beginning and he’ll put an effort to win over your trust.

And most importantly, this man will never abandon you. Even if you try to chase him away, he’ll do anything in his power to stay.

This guy will always have your back and will hold your hand through all life’s difficulties. He will never leave you alone and he’ll make sure you always know that.

 

To Every Girl With Abandonment Issues