What is true happiness? Is it something that can be seen or rather felt?
Is it possible to find true happiness and live a fulfilled, happy life?
Don’t worry, I’ve been asking the same thing myself over and over again, and it took me a few harsh life lessons to finally learn the meaning of true happiness.
For a long time, I’ve been running in circles thinking that finding happiness is about achieving things in life that are considered worthy (by society or the media).
I was convinced that if I succeed in finishing college, buying that expensive car, traveling the world, partying hard, finding a perfect partner, and living life to the fullest, I’d be truly happy.
I thought that if I buy that one certain product that’s been advertised by the media as something truly magnificent and life transformative, it would make me happy.
But, the truth is that the more I bought, the less happy I was.
I’m not saying that finishing college or being able to travel around the world is not something you should be proud of or happy about, but is all this really the definition of true happiness?
Is finding true happiness connected with our goals, expensive things, or reckless lifestyle? I don’t think so.
True happiness is inside us. It cannot be chased and it cannot be bought.
True happiness doesn’t exist in a materialistic, tangible shape.
It’s a feeling buried deep inside every human being that can only be activated by pursuing true ideals, being in love and harmony with yourself and the world we live in.
If someone had told me that before when I was struggling to understand the real meaning of happiness, I would call him insane.
The truth is, I subconsciously refused to acknowledge the real truth even though I knew that something was off and that my perception of true happiness was deeply rotten.
By being focused only on what I’d been served by mainstream society and media, I neglected the real values that were given to us by birth.
By being focused only on that one question How to be happy? I missed all those little moments of true happiness that were right in front of me.
By blindly chasing happiness, I failed to notice that it was right there in front of me all this time!
Half of my humble life, I was playing hide and seek.
When you don’t know what true happiness is, it’s easy for you to blame and judge everyone and everything around you if you fail to find it.
If you don’t pass an exam and you’ve been learning really hard, it’s someone else’s fault (it’s either about impossible grading criteria or a teacher).
If you don’t have enough money to buy what you want, it’s again someone else’s fault (the state you live in, your boss, or other circumstances).
When you’re convinced that happiness is something tangible, something that you can see and whose existence gives you immense satisfaction, you become a slave to your own definition of it.
If you put your happiness in someone else’s hands, you will never be truly happy.
Happiness comes within you. You cannot chase it, you cannot “earn” it (not by money).
We often define happiness as the lack of something in our life and we think that once we achieve it, success and instant contentment is guaranteed.
We often think that if we finally meet The One, we will feel loved and blissful.
We’re convinced that without meeting someone who fulfils us, we will never be happy on our own because we lack love.
But, the truth is that we don’t lack love in the general sense of it –t we lack self-love.
We lack love toward ourselves and that’s why we’re so stubborn to keep looking for it somewhere else.
Instead of focusing on finding our inner peace and living our life filled with positivity, we focus on finding a person who will help us achieve that.
We might feel like we’re truly happy, but this only lasts for a while. Such happiness is not long-term.
We are creators of our own happiness and we create it by our own thoughts!
Imagine that you have the most amazing job in the world, the best girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife in the world, and everything you ever wanted.
How do you feel about it? Do you think that only then you would be truly happy?
If you’ve watched that amazing movie Pursuit Of Happyness, then you know what I’m talking about.
You can spend your whole life working hard to get all those things, but you’ll be miserable in the process.
And the process of it is exactly where true happiness is hiding. The math is simple here:
If you think you’re happy, you will be happy. If you think you’re not, you won’t be.
If you work hard and strive to be your best every day of your life and you’re still not happy because you think that’s not enough, think again.
Because if you think you’re happy, you will be.
Wanting all and wanting it now is a recipe for the ultimate unhappiness.
But, being grateful for what you already have and doing your best to improve yourself, as well as your relationships with loved ones, family members, and best friends is a recipe for true happiness.
Because true happiness is not about having everything that you want, but appreciating what you already have.
True happiness is not about being the most intelligent person in the world, but the process of becoming that person.
It’s about appreciating the ability to improve, to read self-help books and other worthy literature.
Happiness is in the journey, not the destination.
It’s about being grateful for covering all your basic needs – being able to walk, talk, smile; enjoying the little things in your daily life, and appreciating all those positive emotions.
It’s waking up in the morning and realizing that you have enough to be happy today.
You have a place to sleep, your family, food, maybe a pet, and so on.
Because being truly happy is not about constantly wishing to live a happier life; it lies in working hard and appreciating the one you already have.
If you don’t dig deeper within yourself, you will realize that there will always be something that you’ll be missing in life.
If you’re not grateful for what you already have, you’ll be miserable every day of your life.
Real happiness is about being able to accept the things you cannot change.
The biggest source of unhappiness and frustration lies in our inability to change certain things.
Perhaps you have some body imperfections that cannot be fixed or inadequacies in your past or present that also cannot be changed.
But, you still try hard to change them.
You refuse to accept the fact that you can’t do anything about it and are convinced that the only time you’ll be truly happy is if you succeed in making things different.
Your body, mind and soul refuse to accept the things you cannot change, and you become a prisoner of your own device.
You retreat from the real world creating another one for yourself where you feel comfortable enough to fantasize about another reality where things are different, where things are better than they are now.
The more you try to hide and escape, the more miserable you feel. And then you ask yourself:
What is true happiness? Will I ever be happy if I don’t succeed in changing all those things that apparently cannot be changed?
The magic word is ACCEPTANCE.
There are many things in the world we cannot influence.
Those things are higher than ourselves and we can try as hard as we like, but we still won’t succeed. And that’s the beauty of it.
The beauty lies in acceptance, because those things are not meant to be changed.
They are meant to make us unique and special. They are meant to enrich our life by teaching us valuable lessons.
Those things are imperfections whose main purpose is to be recognized and accepted, not altered.
Because true happiness is not about being perfect, but becoming the best version of yourself!
True happiness is realizing that everything that happened in the past doesn’t define you.
Every single event and moment in your past is a part of you, but it doesn’t make you you.
You are a combination of millions of processes that needed to happen in order to evolve into who you are today.
Your life is made of thousands of little paths (some of them trivial, some of them more important) but each one of them has contributed to making you who you are.
Life is not perfect. Relationships are not perfect. Jobs are not perfect. We are not perfect.
Nothing in this life can be seen as perfect because every single thing has its own positive and negative aspects.
Every single person has his or her own quirks and flaws, and being truly happy doesn’t mean deleting them for good.
True happiness is not about seeking perfection in its every sense, it is about working hard on becoming the best version of yourself!
The perfect makeup, perfect hairstyle, or perfect body doesn’t exist.
Well, it does exist, but only in the media. True happiness doesn’t lie in meeting the standards of mass media, but in creating your own.
True happiness is realizing that you’re a perfectly imperfect human being.
Because true happiness is not about the pursuit of perfection, it’s about the process of embracing imperfection and doing your best to become the best version of yourself.
It’s taking care of your well-being, spending time with your loved ones and people who inspire you, nourishing true ideals, improving every aspect of your life, and noticing all those little things that mean a lot.
It’s understanding that your role is not to become perfect according to some impossible, imposed standards by others, but realizing your own potential, moving boundaries, overcoming your fears, and so on.
True happiness doesn’t come from having everything at your disposal, but realizing how little you actually need to be truly happy.
It’s about realizing that there isn’t another you in the whole, damn world and that’s what makes you truly unique and special!
True happiness is realizing the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.
There will always be someone who will have something better, greater than you and this doesn’t necessarily mean that they are truly happy.
This doesn’t mean that the only way for you to be truly happy is if you had the same thing as them or had the same life as them.
Not everything is as it seems.
In every person’s life, relationship, or marriage, there are tons of ups and downs, happy moments and less happy moments, but sometimes we refuse or are unable to see it.
We see what we want to see. We believe what we want to believe.
And true happiness lies in the ability to question what you see, and challenge what you believe.
Being truly happy is when you focus on yourself and see the bigger picture of everything, instead of being jealous of other people’s success.
Just because someone else has a nice car or a big house, this doesn’t mean that they are better than you!
Just because someone else has pretty hair or nails, this doesn’t make you less beautiful!
Just because someone has finished college, this doesn’t make you less intelligent or capable!
Not every single one of us has the option to finish college, buy a nice car, or go to the most expensive beauty salon.
And it’s in our human nature to be envious of those who do have the opportunity to achieve all this.
But, what we often forget is that those things are not a prerequisite for true happiness.
Each person has their own unique background and struggles, so comparing yourself with others and wanting the same things as them is the biggest illusion.
Each person has their own answer to the question: What is true happiness? and there isn’t a one-answer-fits-all.
“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” – Plato
The person who is observing decides what is beautiful for them or what is “happy” to them.
So, what is beautiful and worthy to you might not be beautiful and worthy to someone else.
And that’s how we fall in love with each other and with the world around us.
We observe everything with our own unique, invisible glasses that help us shape our own beliefs, challenge things, and evolve.
Your natural look might be nothing special to you, but to someone else it might be the first thing they notice and like about you.
Your introvert or extrovert personality might be something you’re ashamed of, but to someone else it might be the reason why they want to hang out with you.
Your smile might not mean a lot to you, but to someone else it might mean the world.
And that’s what true happiness really is:
Embracing instead of criticizing. Appreciating instead of yearning.
Living in the moment instead of evoking the past or contemplating the future. Believing.