When your boyfriend, whom you still love, leaves you, the only thing that you have in mind is if he’ll come back. Well, here are 5 steps you should take if you want to make this happen without you looking desperate.

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1. Think things through

Before you do anything about getting your ex back, first you need to think things through carefully.

I know you still love this guy and that at this point, you would do anything just to make him come crawling back to you. But you need to try hard to look at things realistically and to shut your emotions off during this phase.

That means that you need to decide if this is the man you really want in love. Is everything that has happened between the two of you things that can be worked on?
Is this the relationship you want for yourself? If it is, is it really worth the fight?
Do you really love him or is this just your ego talking?

These are all the questions you need to answer honestly and when you do that and if you still want him back, you are ready for the second step.

2. Don’t contact him

If you’ve really realized that you want this guy back and that being with him is the best option for you, the next step is not to contact him. And I really mean not to contact him in any way possible.

I know this is the last thing you want to do and that you probably have the urge to call this guy and maybe to even beg for him to come back to you. But trust me—this would only be counterproductive and it would chase him away.

Instead, follow the no-contact rule and give him enough space to think things through himself and to realize what he has lost. It will be impossible for him to miss you if you are always on his radar. That way, he would know he could have you whenever he wanted and he would think he didn’t have to do anything to have you back.

3. Work on yourself

While you apply the no-contact rule, the best thing to do is to focus on yourself completely.
I know you can’t think about anything else besides this guy and getting back together with him but trust me—men have a way of sensing despair and this is exactly what you need to avoid if you want him back.

That is why you need to do everything in your power to keep your mind off him. Do the things you didn’t have the chance to do while you were him and spoil yourself in the process.
There is nothing wrong with talking to other guys or even going out on dates with some. Remember—you are single and you are not cheating on anyone.

Nobody is asking you to get yourself involved in a serious relationship, because that would be the most harmful thing for you at this stage and it might hurt a potential new guy in your life because nobody likes to be a rebound. But flirting or dating will help you with your self-esteem and this is exactly what you need right now.

4. Tease him to contact you

The next step is to tease this guy to be the one to contact you and there are several ways to accomplish that.

You might show up to a place you know he visits or if you still follow each other on social media, you can post a photo with an interesting and teasing caption which won’t make you look desperate but will make him think about you. You could also mention him to the friends you have in common, showing him that he hasn’t left your mind just yet. Do whatever it takes to make him realize he needs you and misses you.

Just be careful not to exaggerate while doing this. Act like he is not your priority and do everything casually unless you want him to think of you as a stalker. Even if you contact him, make sure you do it without any pressure but just to remind him that you thought of him.

5. Be ready to talk things through

When you’ve finally accomplished everything mentioned above, it’s time for the final step.

When you and this guy finally get in touch, you need to have ‘the talk’. It’s important for you not to get overwhelmed with the idea of getting back together or to forget about all the things that went wrong between the two of you.

Despite all the feelings you two might have for each other, the truth is that you broke things off for a reason and that reason needs to be resolved before you can move on with your relationship.