She’s just a woman. She wants to be loved. She wants to be admired.
When her man looks at her, she wants to feel like there’s no one else he’d rather look at. She needs to feel like she’s everything to him.
She can’t though.
She’s carrying a heavy load of self-questioning, doubts and insecurities .
Will he be able to handle my PCOS diagnosis? The scary question runs through her mind.
Your hormones not being balanced isn’t the worst that can happen to you but it puts a huge strain on your whole life, to the point where you no longer know who you are anymore.
Will he get sick of my mood changes? She wonders.
One of these days, when she accuses him of doing something wrong when he is only trying to do the best he can, will he get mad and leave her?
Does he think she’s too much to handle with all her negative thoughts and emotions? Is she too much of a burden to him?
She feels sick all the time. She feels weak, depressed, not interested in everyday fun activities that her man probably expects her to enjoy with him.
How long before he decides he can no longer support me? She thinks, looking at him with tightness in her chest and tears in her eyes.
She’s so grateful to have him. He gives her everything she needs and more. She feels guilty because all his love can’t help her condition.
Will he get tired of all his effort resulting in very little change on her behalf?
He wants to go do something exciting and that exact day she wakes up feeling pain in every inch of her body. Her illness forces her to say no but she’s devastated to decline his thoughtful offer once again.
She fears he’ll think that it’s him who she’s declining.
She looks herself in the mirror and feels too damn imperfect. Does he long for a girl who’s fit, lean, with long, shiny hair and no freaking hormonal issues?
Those questions are on her mind all the time. She thinks about everything. She overthinks . She tries planning for their future together but gets lost in her insecurities over and over again.
What if he wants to have kids and she turns out to be infertile?
What if they do have kids and she continues to struggle with these wicked mood swings and physical boundaries that make her want to stay in bed most of the time?
Who would choose a life like that?
She feels like she lost so much of who she was with this health condition and fears that she’ll lose him as well.
She’s getting ready for the day when that comes. She’s already cried all the tears, tears of abandonment, tears of pain, tears of insecurity, tears of loss.
Will she have any more tears to cry if he decides he can no longer be with her?
The thing is, she has no one to blame. She’d understand him completely if he chose to quit. He will have done nothing wrong.
If he decides to break up with me, it will only mean he doesn’t have any more strength to handle all this mess, she says to herself.
I can’t blame him for anything. I can’t blame myself either. Who do I blame?
Where does the anger go? To whose address do I send my complaints? I didn’t choose this and he didn’t either.
Dear man who loves a girl with PCOS, choose to stay by her side. She needs you. Choose to support her.
She may not be able to give you everything you need right now but she’s giving everything she can and more.
She’s scared every day that she’ll lose you, so don’t make her worst nightmare happen.
Be the one who’s there for her. Learn to help with her mood swings, learn to understand her struggles.
Feed her emotional balance and there’s a huge chance she’ll get out of that disturbing state soon enough so that you can both enjoy each other and your life together.
Be her strength. You’re the one who keeps her hopeful, you’re the one who motivates her to stay as happy and as healthy as possible, never forget that.
The way you go through difficulties together is how love is measured.
Prove to her that your love for her can move mountains and, well… hormonal imbalances.
We don’t choose who we love or why but we do choose to stay together and work on our relationship even when things get tough.
Your worth, dear lady with PCOS, is so much bigger than you think. Believe in being the person you are, even when your insecurities start to overwhelm you.