How many times have you heard this cliché?
I bet one too many times, just like I have.
But, how many of you have actually implemented this philosophy into your lives?
I bet not too many of you, just like my past self.
There’s something truly intriguing about us women (and people in general) being convinced that we need to have someone in our lives to be truly happy or fit into societal norms.
There’s something truly wrong about this worn-out sequence: Finish school – Find a job – Find a partner – Get married – Have kids.
Seriously? Since when is this the recipe that every one of us needs to follow to avoid being ostracized by society?
So, if you manage to finish school and find a job but have no partner yet, society and the media will make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, and you’ll NEVER be truly happy.
Well, it’s time to put an end to this lie and manipulation because we don’t need a partner to be happy, and we don’t need to appease society to feel worthy.
You don’t need a man to experience true happiness because you’re the creator of your own!
Being single can be as EXCITING as being in a relationship
Butterflies in your stomach, counting the seconds before you get to see your loved one, cuddling, laughing, having a partner in crime, a confidant, and a friend all in one are the things that make our life fun and exciting.
Now let’s be honest. No matter how fulfilling and entertaining relationships can be, they also come with a HUGE burden.
All those overthinking sessions about whether you should text them first (or not), whether you should introduce them to your friends and family, the inevitable arguments, compromising (even when you don’t feel like it), finding a balance between going out of your way to do things for them and not being taken for granted, and the list goes on and on.
All these things can make your life frustrating and, in some cases, a living hell.
So, NO, you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy (especially not a toxic one) because being single can be as exciting as having a partner!
When you’re single, you have all the time in the world to prioritize your own happiness before someone else’s
You get to choose your own activities, food, movies, and all the other things that people usually compromise on with their partner.
You get to live your best life without needing to worry about whether you’re texting him too much, whether he’s not giving you enough attention, or if you should be suspicious of his loyalty.
You get to spoil yourself the way you deserve, spend more time with your friends and family, so you don’t need a man to be happy because you can be perfectly happy on your own!
It took me a while to realize that putting my happiness in someone else’s hands is the wrong thing to do.
For half of my life, I used to think that the only way to reach true happiness was by finding the perfect partner for myself.
So, I’ve learned two lessons the hard way:
1. The perfect partner doesn’t exist.
2. The only way to be truly happy is by learning to be in love with yourself.
When you love yourself, you don’t look for that one missing piece in someone else. When you love yourself, you don’t need validation from others. You don’t need a man to make you feel worthy or loved.
Loving yourself is about establishing a relationship you’ll value your whole life. It’s about accepting yourself for who you are with all those imperfections, quirks, weaknesses, and weird habits.
Loving yourself is about knowing that you’re the creator of your own happiness
Remember, you came into this world alone. Finding a partner is a choice, but falling in love with yourself is a necessity.
It’s interesting how society (particularly the media) prioritizes relationships before self-love.
Since when did finding a partner become an alternative for getting in touch with your true self? How is it possible to love someone else if you’re not in love with yourself?
One of the main reasons why the media forces us to believe that we need a partner to be happy is because this is the only way for them to sell things to us.
From “techniques and magical recipes for dealing with commitment phobes” to “the most expensive makeup that will make you beautiful” and help you find a long-awaited “perfect” partner.
They convince you that you need someone in your life only to become a slave to their propaganda.
Half of those terms like “commitment-phobes,” “almost relationships,” and similar don’t even exist in the real world, but that’s an article for another day.
If you ask me, the worn-out sequence that we mentioned in the beginning should be rephrased as this instead:
Finish school – Find a job – Fall in love with yourself – Find a partner – Get married – Have kids.
(Of course, some of us don’t want to get married, have kids, finish school, or have a job, which is more than okay.)
If you don’t love yourself, you’ll spend your whole life feeling like something is missing. Perhaps you already have a few failed relationships, and you blame yourself for it.
The only thing you should blame yourself for is not giving yourself enough love and attention.
“Love yourself first because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” – Unknown
Yup. Relationships come and go, but the relationship you have with yourself is for life. You don’t need a man to be happy because you can be perfectly happy on your own only if you want to.
It’s better to be single than to be in a crappy relationship.
Loving yourself is the key to true happiness.
Love yourself because, at the end of the day, the only person you have is yourself. You don’t need a man to remind you of that.
You don’t need a man to be happy because you’ve already got plenty of reasons to be happy right now, no matter what:
- You’re alive
- You have the opportunity to be whoever you want to be
- You’re beautiful
- You’re loved
- You’ve won many battles
- You’re strong
You don’t need a man to be happy because you’re a beautiful, strong, independent woman. You’re perfectly capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.
You don’t need a man to do things for you because you’re perfectly competent in doing them on your own.
You don’t need a man to shower you with affection because you already have inspiring people in your life who love you and who would do anything for you.
You already have yourself.
You don’t need a man only to boast to your friends and family that you have someone. You don’t need a man to appease the imposed societal standards.
“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” – Barry Finlay
No matter how confusing all this might sound to you at the moment, know that you can change your mindset only if you want to.
You have the capacity and the ability to start living your life the way you want and deserve.
Show society, the media, and the world that you don’t need a partner to feel complete. Show the world that you don’t need a man to be happy.
Show yourself that you’re a fierce and determined woman by not putting up with anybody’s crap. Respect everyone and demand respect from them in return. Love others but love yourself first.