We never had a chance. Honestly, we were doomed from the very beginning. You were already in love with someone else.
Your heart was full of love – narcissistic self-love.
I couldn’t recognize the signs back then. But I see them clearly now. You love yourself more than you’ll ever love anyone else.
Still, I wonder if that’s a bad thing or not. I wonder who was right. You who only loved yourself or me who loved you more than myself and anyone else in my life.
I wonder if so much self-love is healthy. I wonder if you’ll ever change. I wonder if God will send you a girl one day that will make you change.
You see, even after all this time I still wonder so many things about you and our relationship. I really need some answers. I clearly still don’t have the closure I need.
I decided to write this letter because I think it’ll help me feel better. That maybe somehow it’ll help me understand you and find that closure I long for so much.
I always wanted to ask you WHY? Why couldn’t you even try to fall in love with me? Was the problem with me?
Am I really not good enough for you? Do you really think that no one is good enough for you?
Nevermind. I know you won’t answer that, it was a rhetorical question. You won’t answer it because not even you know the answer. You’re so blindly in love with yourself.
I actually feel sorry for you. Oh my God, I can’t believe that I’m feeling sorry for the man who broke my heart. But, I do.
You aren’t even aware that your self-love is out of control. You can’t see how narcissistic self-love is ruining your life.
It didn’t just drive me out of your life. It drove out so many people who truly cared for you and it’ll continue to do so if you don’t change something.
I truly hope you will. I hope you’ll understand before it gets too late. I hope you’ll understand that you have to let other people into your heart before you end up all alone.
I was aware of the fact that you didn’t love me long before I actually broke up with you but I was grasping for straws and denying reality.
I loved you too much to come to terms with the fact you’ll never be able to reciprocate the love I gave you. It’s like one part of me was still hoping that one day you might change.
I really hoped that one day you’d be able to realize everything I did for you and all the things I gave up for you. I don’t regret it.
I did it all because I was trying to find the key to your heart. I thought that there was more to you than meets the eye.
I believed that your narcissistic behavior was just a facade. That it’s how you protect yourself from being hurt by someone you love. I was trying to tear down all those walls you built up.
You didn’t let me do that. You didn’t allow me to see the real you. If you only knew that my only intention was to love you until the day I die. I never played with you and my intention was never to hurt you.
Maybe one day it’ll happen, you’ll be left all alone and it may suddenly hit you how much I cared for you and how much I honestly loved you.
Maybe one day you’ll realize that you were excessively self-absorbed and gambled away your (possibly only) chance for true love.
But, I can’t wait forever for that to happen. I have to live my life. I know how much I’m worth and I really deserve someone to love me as much as I loved you.
I have to start thinking about myself. I deserve so much more than you ever gave me.
After all, you were the one who taught me how important self-love is. I’ll never allow it to become so narcissistic, but
I’ll definitely have to work on it so I start to appreciate myself more.
Your needs were always my top priority, however, you never cared about what I needed. You were never there for me, not even when I truly needed you the most.
I gave up so many things in my life for you, while you never even tried to compromise on some important things.
I did all that to keep you in my life, while you never cared for me or even worried if I would leave you one day.
You expected everything to revolve around you and it did. It did for too long, until I finally realized that I needed to put an end to it and make myself a priority again.
Until I realized that I’m important too and that my needs are equally important as yours.
I deserve someone else. Someone who’ll cherish me in a way you never did. Someone who’ll restore my faith in love.
Someone who’ll love himself but still make me and my love a priority.
Don’t think that I hate you. I never have, I never could. You always said how God created my heart to love and care for others.
I just think that you have a problem. There is a name for your behavior. It’s called a narcissistic personality disorder.
I really think that you should seek professional help. That much self-love isn’t healthy. It’s already ruined something good in your life. Don’t let it ruin your entire life.
I truly hope you’ll understand before it’s too late. I really hope that one day you’ll be able to realize the importance of having someone in your life, to love you, to love her. To mutually love each other.
