You’ve been dating a non-believer for some time now and the relationship is getting serious? You’re thinking about marrying them and a million questions are popping up in your head every day because of it?
First of all, let me tell you that I get you and I hope you’ll get answers to all of those questions. I’ll help you with that a bit and introduce you to living a life with an unbelieving spouse.
Before you really accept their marriage proposal or ask them to marry you, here are 10 consequences of marrying an unbeliever you should be aware of.
10 Consequences Of Marrying An Unbeliever
So, if you’re thinking about marrying a non-believer or if you’ve already decided to take that step, here are some things you should be aware of.
1. It may put your own faith on a test
You’ll probably want to know the reasons why your partner chose to be an unbeliever. What made them lose the right tracks in life…
Their story might confuse you and it may even make you question your faith.Or, you might simply accept their (non) beliefs over time.
In the worst-case scenario, your partner might ask you to leave your faith as a token of your love for them but if you’re a true believer, you’ll know that the love for our Savior needs to be bigger and stronger than all the other loves we have.
2. You’ll need to arm yourself with patience, understanding, and tolerance
These 10 consequences of marrying an unbeliever are actually proof of how difficult these relationships can be. I’m sure you’re aware of it, too.
However, just because something is difficult, it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. You can build a healthy marriage, you’ll just need to have a lot of patience and understanding for your differences.
Maybe you won’t be able to have a Christian marriage but it’ll be a healthy one and God, just like your loved ones, will have no other choice but to accept it eventually.
3. Compromise will become the most important part of your marriage
You’ll also need to be ready to compromise a lot. You may even have to compromise on some things you swear you never would, no matter how hard you fall in love with someone.
It’ll all be needed for the sake of keeping your relationship healthy. Of course, the other side will have to make the same compromises because otherwise, they’ll lose your respect and most probably, your love too.
4. You can never expect full understanding from the other side
Even though you’ll try to understand your partner, you can never be sure you’ll get the same amount of understanding from them, too.
It’ll affect your relationship for sure and with time, it may even make you start questioning your relationship/marriage. Not feeling respected and understood by your significant other is definitely one of the worst things and nothing can harm the bond between partners more than that.
5. Finding common ground will seem impossible
Sometimes, finding the common ground will seem like a mission impossible. And, that’s one of the reasons why compromise is so important in your relationship.
However, if you truly want to make things work between you, you’ll need to try to compromise as much as possible, especially on some important things. Your different religious beliefs don’t need to be a problem between you but all the things that come with it can and probably will.
6. You may not get support from your loved ones
When young women and men fall in love, they get blinded completely. They immediately start imagining their future life together and start rushing into a serious relationship way too soon.
In most cases, their loved ones don’t support them but they just don’t care about their consent because their love is everything that matters to them.
However, getting support from your family is way too important because sooner or later, the couple will feel torn apart between their parents, their in-laws and their romantic relationship.
Still, if you truly believe in your love and if your relationship is healthy, and your parents keep denying to give you their consent, in that case, you should choose your love.
It’s said in the Bible; “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31-32 ESV
After all, those are the people that love you both the most and, sooner or later, they’ll have to come to terms with your relationship and accept you two as a couple.
7. You may have issues about the way you’ll raise your kids
This may also be the biggest problem in your marriage. That’s why it’s very important to talk about this before you actually get married.
You need to agree on your parenting style and the way you’ll raise your kids together. If you aren’t able to agree on these things right now, you definitely won’t be able to compromise on them later, too.
The worst thing is that your kids may also be affected by it and it may leave them with childhood traumas. I’m sure that’s the last thing you want, so take this seriously and have a talk about it before you indulge in a marriage.
8. It may make you feel disconnected
Sometimes, you’ll feel disconnected. You’ll feel like you can’t get through to one another and if you don’t focus on strengthening your connection, it’ll harm your relationship deeply.
You need to find a way to reconnect again, every time when you feel like you’re losing that connection. Above everything else, healthy communication can help you maintain that connection and through it, you’ll always keep your bond strong and deep.
9. You’ll always struggle with your differences
And you simply need to come to terms with that. Your different religious beliefs will create many differences between you and you’ll never be able to deal with some of them.
That leaves you with one choice: to accept them. Don’t try changing those different things between you, focus on finding the magic between them because there is a hidden beauty behind those differences, you just need to find it.
10. There will be a lot of choosings and renounces
You’ll need to choose and renounce so many things in order to compromise with your non-believing spouse. No matter how much you love your partner, you’ll always regret some of those things you had to renounce in the name of your love.
However, you should know that true love is worth it all. You would regret losing the person you love more because love is the only thing you should never renounce in life.
5 Important Marriage Advice For Marrying An Unbeliever
If you choose to marry that person after all because sometimes it’s really impossible to go against yourself and your own feelings, here are some tips and advice that you may find helpful:
1. Love is respect, so you’re ought to respect their (non) beliefs
One of the most important foundations of a healthy romantic relationship is respect. Without it, every relationship will be doomed.
If you don’t accept your partner’s beliefs and perspectives, no matter how much they differ from yours, it’s a clear sign you don’t respect them. If you truly love your SO, you’ll accept them for what they truly are and you’ll never try to change them.
2. Don’t even think about trying to convert them
Just because you aren’t okay with their religious beliefs, it doesn’t mean you have the right to make them change them. Every person needs to have the freedom to think freely and to choose their religious beliefs.
Even if they convert, in the name of the love they carry for you, they’ll regret doing it sooner or later. If a person chooses to take such a huge step, it needs to be their decision, they alone need to decide to do it.
3. Continue being a good believer and maybe they’ll follow your example
You just need to follow the word of God and keep living according to lord Jesus. That way, Satan won’t be able to reach you and make you change your religious beliefs and, more importantly, your significant other may finally see the light and start following your example.
Who knows, maybe one day, you two will have a real Christian marriage.
They’ll accept Christ as their true lord and savior, you’ll both be devoted believers, attend Bible studies, go to church regularly, give tithing, raise your children under the Lord Jesus’s rules and accept the commitment to the living God.
4. Don’t keep avoiding talking about the future
You won’t be able to hold off the talks about the future forever. You’ll need to have those family and married life talks sooner or later.
You’ll have to agree and compromise on many things because of your different religious beliefs. For example, you’ll need to agree on your parenting style and the way you’ll raise your future kids.
Also, those talks could help you understand whether it’s really the best decision to get married.
5. Keep them in your prayers
As it’s said in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”… You just can’t go against your heart.
After all, it was God’s will for you to fall in love with a non-believer and that’s how you should look at it. My own husband doesn’t have the same religious beliefs as me and we decided to get married despite that.
I was also struggling for some time because I was afraid that I was committing a sin that would cost me entering the kingdom of Heaven one day.
However, I understood that I need to accept my feelings, work on strengthening my faith and pray to God for my significant other. And the same thing you should do.
What Does God Say About Being Married To An Unbeliever?
According to the Bible, every Christian must find a partner, their soulmate, and should not lead a lonely life. However, what happens when a Christian falls in love with a non-Christian? Does that partner, their soulmate, need to be a Christian, too?
Well, it’s definitely a great thing to marry a person with the same religious beliefs, so you can live in the light of God’s presence and glorify Jesus Christ together, but it also can’t be considered a sin to marry a non-believer.
Actually, it’s our duty to make connections with unbelievers, read the scripture regularly, pray to the Holy Spirit for them to find the light and encourage them to convert. However, if a person marries an unbeliever, they aren’t obliged to persuade them to become a Christian.
As Paul, the Apostle wrote in Corinthians 7:12-14: “…If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…”
However, the opinions about this topic are greatly divided and some Christian theologians share my opinion, and it is that it’s not a sin to marry an unbeliever, while there are others who are strongly against it and find it one of the biggest sins.
Unfortunately, they also have a reason to believe so because it’s said in The New Testament, Corinthians 6:14 ESV: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
Also, there is a part in the Book of Deuteronomy 7 that proves it:
“When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.”
You’re now aware of the 10 consequences of marrying an unbeliever and what do you think about it? Are you still ready to enter the holy matrimony with a person who has no religious beliefs?
Just so you don’t get me wrong. Sincerely, my intention wasn’t to talk you out of the idea of marrying a non-believer, I just wanted to introduce you to some possible consequences.
If you aren’t ready to deal with these things, then you should take some time to think about getting married. Whatever you decide, just don’t turn away from God’s path because you know it’s the ONLY right path in life.
I hope you’ll follow your heart in the end because I always root for love, especially if that is the sincere, deep, and soulmate type of love. God bless you and your partner.