Starting a new relationship after a heartbreak is a bit hard. You have to dedicate a lot of time and effort into rising out of the ashes again and to moving on.
Maybe you have been abused or manipulated in your past relationship that led you to have trust issues but you believe that meeting someone new and starting a new relationship can help you heal.
Because of the reason that starting a new relationship when you’re not ready for it can only break you even more, there are a few things that you should consider before you decide that you want a serious relationship again.
1. Heal
I know that it’s easier said than done but no matter how much time it takes you, you have to heal!
By starting a new relationship when you’re this broken, you can only break your own heart or the heart of your new partner. It doesn’t bring anything good to anyone.
Also, you can’t expect your partner to help you heal. That’s your job! You are the only one to whom you should go for advice on healing to become happy with yourself.
2. Give yourself time
Don’t rush it! Give yourself all the time that’s needed in order to be sure that you are finally over your ex. There’s no need to rush into the next relationship because it simply won’t bring you anything good.
You won’t be prepared for the commitment and all the things that come together with a new relationship. So why jump into it?
Give yourself time to do all the things you weren’t able to do while you were in your previous relationship.
3. Become who you always wanted to be
You probably have a picture of the perfect woman in your mind. That woman isn’t someone the media presents you as but your own unique version of someone you want to become.
So go for it! Become that badass woman you always wanted to be.
Go after your passion, find an amazing job, continue your studies, wear all those crazy clothes you want to wear. I promise you, there will be someone who will fall in love with you just the way you love yourself.
4. Become independent
Learn how to catch a spider all by yourself. Learn how to change a tire. Pay for all of your meals yourself.
Make important decisions in your life. Do all these things to show yourself that you don’t actually need a man but that you want one.
Becoming independent means that you are ready to live your life with or without a man—because you will be able to take care of yourself.
5. Date yourself
I know that you can’t find someone who will know exactly what you want in a relationship but you can come close to it by knowing it yourself.
What is needed to make you feel happy, loved and appreciated? You can only know this by dating yourself.
Take yourself out to dinner and find your favorite restaurants. Buy yourself some flowers and chocolate.
Truly get to know yourself, your wants and needs, so you can say what you want in a relationship the next time someone asks.
6. Spend time with your friends
Now is the right time to catch up with all of your friends you didn’t have the time for before. Go on road trips together, have a shoulder to lean on and a support group.
Laugh! Go out and get drunk with them.
If you look hard enough, you’ll see that you aren’t alone in this world. Your friends will show you that there is life after heartbreak and that they are there for you whenever you truly need them.
7. Make a list of the things you did wrong
One day, when you have enough time, just sit down and write a list of all the things you think that you did wrong in the relationship. Don’t be harsh on yourself but instead be rather realistic.
By doing this you will know which aspects of your behavior in relationships you have to work on. If you always care too much and you end up spoiling your partner then I think that it’s finally time to find a way to not do it again.
8. Ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship
Do you think that you’re just trying to convince yourself? Are you lonely?
Do you think that it’s easier to be in a relationship? Or maybe you don’t have a reason for it at all?
If you can’t convince yourself with the answers of why you want to be in a relationship again, if it’s not reason enough, then don’t. You’ll be happier that you didn’t start a relationship before you were actually ready.
9. Do some casual dating
Just see how you will react to casual dating. Don’t let them into your home, don’t have sex, just dinner.
Dating is OK, because you’re not rushing into a new relationship but rather you’re having some fun with people you find to be interesting. There is a difference.
10. Forgive
Don’t rush into the next relationship still carrying the weight of the previous one. There’s no need for you to hold grudges.
Rather let go and forgive. I know that it’s hard, I know that if he deserved to be forgiven you would still be together. But forgive.
Your chest will feel lighter. Forgive all the mistakes that happened in your relationship and continue your life with no burden to carry. You deserve it.
