Ever since the two of you broke up, you’ve been dreaming of this.
You’ve been hoping that your ex will come crawling back, begging you to give him another chance.
That’s exactly what’s going on right now. The day has come: here he is, on your doorstep, asking you to take him back.
However, instead of being thrilled, you feel clueless, confused and worried. You don’t know what to do.
Despite the feelings you still have for this guy, you can’t make up your mind.
You’re not sure what the right thing is for you to do now.
So, here is a set of make or break questions to ask yourself before making a final decision.
1. Is it the first time he’s made this mistake?
Before making any decisions, one thing has to be clear: is this the first time something like this has happened?
Or has it become a regular occurrence?
You see, there is a huge difference between these two scenarios.
Let’s be honest here: nobody is perfect. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all make choices we’re not proud of.
So, your boyfriend has the right to do the same. He’s done something wrong and he’s sincerely sorry for that.
You might even forgive him for his wrongdoings if you believe that he won’t repeat his errors.
On the other hand, if this has become a routine of his, a second chance is out of the question.
If this man keeps on making the same mistakes over and over again and then ends up begging for forgiveness, it is clear that he’ll continue with his behavior.
In that case, there is absolutely no point in going back to him.
Because if you keep on forgiving him, you’re just giving him the green light to keep on breaking your heart.
2. Why do I want him back?
The next make or break question doesn’t have a lot to do with your boyfriend-it is connected with you and your feelings.
Why do you want this man back?
Do you truly believe that he deserves a second chance? Do you sincerely think that he’ll improve his ways?
Or are you just scared of being alone?
Would you rather stay with him, he who has become your comfort zone, than step into the unknown?
Do you want him back just to prove a point to yourself? To prove that you can have him whenever you feel like it?
That he’ll always try to come back to you, no matter what he does?
Are you willing to take him back because you’re scared of losing him?
Are you doing it to keep him by your side, aware that you didn’t think things through?
Do you see this as a chance to get revenge?
Do you want to lure him into being with you and pretend that everything is perfect just so you can get your revenge?
Answer each one of these questions as sincerely as possible. You don’t have to give him the answers-just be honest with yourself.
I’m begging you: don’t give your relationship another shot for all the wrong reasons.
3. Have I forgiven him?
It doesn’t matter what your ex did; whether he cheated on you, abused you, or hurt you in some other way.
The point is that he broke your heart.
He did you harm and it is natural that you can’t pretend like nothing happened.
So please, ask yourself this: have I really forgiven this man?
Don’t get me wrong: nobody is forcing you to do so, especially if you’re not ready.
However, what’s the point in rekindling your old romance if this issue will remain a problem between the two of you?
Yes, forgiveness is a process and it takes time.
Nevertheless, if you don’t see yourself getting there and if you don’t have any desire to eventually forgive him, you two getting back together will be in vain.
4. Can we succeed?
This is where you should be completely realistic.
No idealizing, no romanticizing things-disregard your heart and have an honest talk with your reason.
I know you love this guy. You wouldn’t be having these dilemmas if you didn’t.
However, what you should be aware of is that sometimes love isn’t enough.
After all, you loved each other before this happened and that didn’t work out so well.
So, you need to be honest with yourself here. Do you really think that your relationship will work out if you give it another try?
Of course, nobody can predict the future. You can never know what will happen for sure.
Nevertheless, you can tell whether you two even stand a chance.
You see, none of this struggle is worthwhile if you will break up quicker than you got back together.
Therefore, please try to spare yourself more misery and take off your rose tinted glasses in time.
5. Have we reached an agreement?
I guess you’ve already had some talks regarding this matter with your partner. What was the final conclusion of all those conversations?
Have you managed to reach a compromise? Have you found some middle ground?
Ask yourself whether you’ve reached an agreement on how your relationship will function in the future.
Have you set some ground rules that you’ll both have to stick to?