Let’s face it–there doesn’t exist a person who was never tempted to contact an ex in some way.
Even though different people do it for different reasons, the bottom line is the same: sending a text to an ex is something you should always think through.
That is exactly why we’re presenting you a set of questions you should ask yourself before reaching out to your ex.
Just answer each one of them honestly, and you’ll know where you stand and what you should do.
1. Does he deserve to hear from you?
The first thing you need to give yourself an answer to before even considering reaching out to your ex boyfriend is whether this guy deserves to hear from you in the first place. On what terms did you two split?
Of course, you won’t be the first one to call some dude who humiliated you and treated you like crap.
That is why you should ask yourself whether he was an asshole who should be erased from your memory or is he actually a good guy who won’t see you making this step as a chance to take advantage of you and break your heart once more?
Will you give him an ego boost and put yourself down if you text him?
2.What is the worst thing that could happen?
The next thing to think about is the worst case scenario.
I’m not saying that you texting your ex will be a complete failure, but it is also something you need to be prepared for.
So, what is the worst thing that could happen? He could ignore your text completely? Or he could insult you and reply in a horrible manner?
Either way, is this something you’re ready to take?
Will it be awkward for you to run into him if he leaves you on read? Will you feel humiliated and ashamed for trying anything?
Will the earth stop spinning if your ex doesn’t respond to your text? Will you go back to feeling the same way you felt when you two broke up?
If the answer is positive, one thing is clear–texting an ex is without doubt not the right move for you.
3. What do you secretly want to happen?
The same way you should think of the worst case scenario, you should also think about the best possible outcome.
However the real question here is: what would be the best possible outcome for you?
Do you want this guy to tell you that he’s been thinking of you all along? Do you want him to come crawling back to you, admitting his eternal love?
Or you want revenge? Do you want him to think that you’re still not over him just so you could pay him back for everything he’s put you through?
Maybe you just want closure? You need an explanation before you can turn over a new leaf of your life?
4. Do you still have feelings for him?
Now that you’ve realized why you want to text your ex, it’s time to be clear about your feelings for him. Do you still love this guy?
Have you really tried doing everything in your power to move on from him but you’re left with no other options except accepting that he is the love of your life?
Can you see yourself next to him once again? Are you willing to work on your issues and put an effort into rebuilding your relationship?
5. Or are you just lonely?
Or maybe none of this is true. Maybe someone new hurt you, so you want to go back to what is familiar.
Do you want to prove to yourself that you can have this guy whenever you feel like it?
Do you want to prove to him that you’ll always remain special and that he’ll never forget you for real?
Is it possible that this guy is nothing more than your comfort zone? That you don’t actually love him, but you’re just used to having him around?
Or maybe you’re lonely and afraid of ending up alone. Maybe you don’t miss your ex–you just miss being in a relationship.