It has been a long time since I stopped believing in fairy tales.
It was such a long time ago that I stopped hoping that one day a real man would come along and steal my heart and make it his for the rest of his days.
I don’t buy that crap anymore. I put my feet firmly on the ground and I accepted the truth.
There is no such thing as Prince Charming. The image of him was born with Cinderella or any fairy tale before Cinderella and he stays there.
Real men, men of flesh and blood, are men who sin, men who make mistakes. Those men are who we are dealing with, those men are our destiny.
I gave up on waiting for someone perfect to help in my own misery.
I woke up from the dream in which I was having a rough time, my life was falling apart, but then, out of thin air, came this young, handsome ‘Bradley Cooper’, who swore to me eternal love and that all my problems would disappear.
No, you don’t get that in real life.
In real life, you face your own shit on your own. No one will stick their neck out to save you.
You face your own battles and you risk your happiness by making your own decisions. You have no idea whether they are right or wrong but you make mistakes and you learn not to do them again.
You see, all men are kind of emotionally unavailable. You know why? It’s because all men are kind of scared to open up.
They are just like us, scared of getting hurt.
Some hide it with their toughness, some hide it behind the perspective of a Greek god. Some are cheeky, some are full of themselves.
But, deep down, they are all emotionally unavailable because they are scared of getting hurt.
Deep down, they are emotionally unavailable assholes because they are human, too.
So, before you fall in love with an emotionally unavailable man, and you will, keep in mind some of the following things and just maybe you’ll find at least the image of true love everyone is talking about.
When actually, all we need is someone to come home to, someone to listen to us, someone who respects us and someone to trust.
If you are lucky enough to find this, you’ve found ‘true love’.
Be perfectly clear about what you need from him
Tell him exactly what you want from him. Tell him that you want a considerate husband, a good father and, most importantly, a true friend.
Tell him that you want someone who will listen to you, someone who will give you advice when you need it.
Tell him you want a man who will stand by your side and act on your relationship as a union of two people trying to make the best possible life they can for themselves.
Prove to him that you are partners who need to help each other out and work together.
Don’t expect too much
If you don’t get your hopes up, you can’t get disappointed. Don’t expect him to be emotionally mature.
Don’t expect him to be a man of many words. If he keeps his distance and doesn’t talk much about feelings, it’s just who he is.
You’ll have to accept that. But never try to change it, because it’s impossible. It’s who he is and you can’t do anything about that.
If his behavior is a deal-breaker, then leave him but once again, and I can’t stress this enough, don’t ever try to change him because in the end, you’ll end up destroying each other.
Don’t try to fix him
You have nothing to do with whether he changes or not. You can love him to the moon and back, you can promise him the stars from the sky and he’ll stay the same.
You can threaten to leave him if he doesn’t turn his life around and he will stay the same.
There is absolutely nothing you can do to change his perspective and the way he thinks and acts.
If he wants to change, if he is not satisfied with his behavior, then you have a shot.
Still, it’s going to be a bumpy road filled with denial, dedication and a lot of hard work on your part. Change is never easy, even if the person is willing to give it a try.
Try to figure out how to get through to him
When you want to talk to him about something serious, don’t go right at him.
He will feel threatened and as soon as he realizes that he needs to let his guard down and show emotions, he will back down.
And you’ll get one big nothing.
If there is no communication in the relationship, that relationship is set to fail. It is hard for every couple to be on the same page, especially couples who aren’t one hundred percent true and honest with each other and their own feelings.
Learn how to live with an emotionally distant man in your life
As I already said, he won’t change. He is emotionally distant, he is unavailable and he will stay that way.
Maybe in time, he will learn to trust you but his first instinct at the sign of trouble is to build his walls high up and never let anyone in, including you.
You’re actually learning how to be loved by a person you love twice as much.
You are well aware of what you’re getting into, so you have to be prepared to live a life without emotional support and crazy acts of love.
You’re going to live an emotionally lonely life. Be prepared for that.