Have you been seeing a guy for a while now and still aren’t able to make any kind of emotional connection with him? Well, I think this goes beyond saying, but you’re dealing with a love-avoidant or emotionally unavailable person.
And now, you’re here because you’ve chosen the worst option of all to deal with it and help him overcome his fear of love. You decided to start ghosting him to get his attention, right?
That only tells me that you have no idea what happens when you ignore an emotionally unavailable man. And trust me, it’s not a road I would ever choose to help the man I love change and open up to me. Stay with me, and I’ll explain why you shouldn’t either.
Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, ignoring an unavailable man to build an emotional connection with him won’t do you any good. Sooner or later, it’ll only result in these points below, which will make you regret ignoring him.
1. It starts affecting his mental well being
If he considers that you two are in a serious relationship (even though he doesn’t show it), your ghosting will have a very bad impact on his mental health.
He’ll become depressed and may even struggle with anxiety. Unfortunately, that will make him lock himself in even more.
Not that he would talk about it with you. He also won’t mention it to his best friends or his family. He’ll be going through a hard time, and he’ll try to fight it all alone.
2. And his self-esteem too
Low-self esteem is one of the most obvious signs of an emotionally unavailable man. This type of man struggles with insecurities that don’t allow him to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
When an emotionally unavailable man falls in love, he needs validation from his partner to make their relationship work.
Ignoring him definitely isn’t the way to validate him. On the contrary, it may only show him that you don’t care for his feelings at all.
This type of guy may seem like a narcissist, but the truth is far removed from that. He doesn’t have a sense of self-worth, which greatly impacts his love life.
He can’t open up to his girlfriend because he thinks that she won’t like the real him. That’s why he chooses to stay behind his mask as a cold, distant guy and decides to show her only the sides of himself that he thinks she’ll like.
So, if you want to build a healthy long-term relationship with this type of man, you need to help him rebuild his self-esteem and his sense of self-worth again. And you’ll do it only by standing beside him and proving to him that you’ll love him no matter what.
3. His past wounds start aching again
You need to understand one thing: your man didn’t become unavailable and close his heart just because. There is a reason that made him do that, and that reason can probably be found in his past relationships.
He probably went through a nasty heartbreak in the past, which made him promise himself that he’d never allow anyone else to hurt him like that ever again.
And what you’re doing to him right now reminds him of his past heartbreak. Only he knows everything he went through and how much he suffered the last time something like this happened to him, and he wants to avoid it now at any cost.
He probably was an emotionally available man before someone broke his heart. That trauma changed him, both emotionally and mentally, and you can either try to accept it and be more understanding or break up with him and let him deal with it himself.
4. He launches a counterattack
Yes, that’s right. This is the most probable scenario that will play out when you ignore an emotionally unavailable man. He’ll start ignoring you too.
You may think that your ghosting may make him come knocking on your door saying that he was wrong and that he doesn’t want to lose you. But the truth is, that’ll almost never happen.
Instead, he’ll only start ghosting you back. He’ll want to show you how much that ignoring hurts him by doing the same thing to you.
Unavailable people aren’t really vengeful, but when it comes to these things, they’ll persist in getting their revenge on you. To them, it seems like you’re playing with their feelings, and that’s something they really can’t allow.
And, of course, then you’ll be the one who comes knocking on his door. You can save yourself the trouble by simply being honest with your man, talking to him about what’s bothering you, and helping him open up to you.
5. He starts doubting your feelings
Last month my bestie had the same situation. She was dating a man, and, in the beginning, she didn’t notice the patterns and signs of an emotionally unavailable man.
However, once she realized that her man was really emotionally unavailable, she decided to ignore him to get some kind of reaction. And she did get it. The next day, he decided to end things with her.
She thought that despite it all, he was the right guy for her and decided to fight for his love. Fortunately, they managed to solve things between them and got together again.
She explained to him her reasons for ghosting him, and he told her that he thought she didn’t care for him because he feels that you can’t ignore a person you love, not even for an hour.
That’s the thing with emotionally unavailable men. They seek strong proof of your love before they’re ready to admit their love for you. If they sense at any moment that your feelings aren’t honest or strong enough, it’ll be a huge red flag for them that they need to move on.
6. Eventually, he decides to let you go
I just want to point out something. Even if your unavailable man keeps coming back, you need to understand that you never were and never will be in a healthy relationship.
Or, at least you won’t until he understands that he needs to change… That, in order to build a committed relationship, you need to make a stable and deep emotional attachment first.
However, if you keep ignoring him for a long period of time, there will come a time that he’ll decide to stop returning to you. He won’t be getting the validation he desperately needs from you, and it’ll be enough for him to walk away from you.
He’ll see your ghosting as a clear red flag that you’ve fallen out of love with him. He won’t be interested in spending time with you anymore, answering your text messages, or simply talking to you.
First of all, don’t decide to take this step if you truly love your guy. I know this may sound unbelievable to you right now, but love does change people, and that’s a fact.
If his love is honest and strong enough, he’ll do anything to overcome that emotional unavailability. He’ll try very hard to open up to you and bond with you on a deeper emotional level.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t love you, he will never change. And the only option you have in that case is to leave him.
Honestly, you’ll need to muster up a lot of courage to do that. You’ll need to convince your heart that he isn’t the right person for you.
You’ll have to understand that by letting him go, you’ll manage to keep yourself. It’s not your job to spend your precious time fixing someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. Gather the courage to move on and don’t ever look back.
Well, I can’t claim that the no contact rule doesn’t work on these types of guys, but there is a good chance that it may backfire on you sooner or later. Let me explain: instead of making him miss you, it may only push him further away from you.
He may interpret it completely wrong and break up with you for good. He won’t understand that you’re only doing it to make him reconsider his behavior…
He’ll think that you’ve had enough of him and your relationship and that you’re attempting to end things.
And no matter how hurt he feels, the emotionally unavailable guy will never allow you or anyone else to see it. He’ll bottle up his emotions deep down and pretend as if nothing is happening.
So, your question is, “Do emotionally unavailable men miss their partners?” Of course, they can, and they do. Just because your man is struggling with emotional unavailability doesn’t mean he’s completely emotionally numb.
The truth is, if he has strong feelings, he’ll miss you like crazy but won’t know how to show it.
Unavailable people have a problem opening up to others, but this doesn’t mean they’re unable to love.
They know how to love, their heart might be full of love… But they struggle with expressing those strong emotions.
They choose to suppress them deep down in themselves because they’re afraid others will use those emotions to hurt them. They’re afraid of love and don’t know how to overcome that fear.
Final Thoughts
I hope you now know what happens when you ignore an emotionally unavailable man. And trust me, the result is almost never a positive one.
Ghosting him will almost never make him understand what your true intentions are. He’ll think that you are no longer into him and that you want to end things between you.
The best relationship advice on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man you’ll ever hear comes from the famous relationship expert Gabrielle Usatynski:
⭐“Understand the way your man’s brain is wired and how to break through emotional unavailability using simple but powerful techniques that will get your man to turn toward you instead of away.”
Good luck with this ghosting technique, but I’m pretty sure it won’t work on your emotionally unavailable guy. You should find a way to get closer to him instead of driving him out of your life.