Closing chapters are never easy. I know that because I closed many until now. But every time I did, I felt better.
Maybe I was engaged in some relationships thinking that I can’t do better.
Maybe I was just a young girl who didn’t have life experience and who was easy to manipulate. But in the end, I broke free from everything that was killing me.
And when I did that, I felt like the heaviest burden fell off of my shoulders. I felt I could breathe again. I felt alive again.
I felt that there is some sense in my life again. And that is how I feel now.
I finally feel good in my own skin because I closed all the crappy chapters of my life.
I am not saying there won’t be any crappy chapters in the future, but at least I know how to handle them. Now I know what makes me happy or what makes me sad.
There were people in my life who promised me they would always be there, but they left with the first bump on the road.
Also, there were love partners who promised me eternal love but who cheated on me with the first girl who popped up in their lives.
There were false friends who took advantage of me while telling me they will always be there and have my back.
The only thing they did with my back was stab a knife into it. There were so many bad things in my life, things that were disguised as good and positive.
But I couldn’t recognize them immediately.
I couldn’t see who my real friends were, if my partner will cheat on me or if I was making a good choice by asking some people to stay in my life.
But now, I can see it all. Now, I am not holding something that I know is not good for me.
Now, I am letting things go when the right time comes, and that is the best feeling ever.
I am aware of the fact that letting go of people I love is not eas, but it is better to leave someone than to live a life you don’t enjoy.
And that was what I experienced.
The moment I closed one chapter of my life I started having a different outlook on life.
I learned that I need to give myself a shot like I was giving them to people around me.
I realized that not everything will ever be perfect but that it is essential to know how to live in that creative chaos.
I learned so many things but in a hard way. And I am thankful for every lesson because they made me the woman I am today.
I am happy for every crappy thing that happened to me so I could value those good ones. If I hadn’t gone through some messes, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to enjoy life.
So, when someone asks me how I can still smile after everything bad that happened to me, I say that I am thankful for it all.
No matter if it was something good or bad, I am happy it was a part of my life.
And crappy chapters?
There will be more of them, I know. But what I also know is that none of them will be strong enough to put me down.
Because I am like a cherry tree—so fragile from the outside but so strong from the inside.
I am strong enough to keep standing even though the biggest storm may go through my life. I have realized that life is too short and that I need to enjoy it.
And you know what?
That is exactly what I will do!