When you first come to think of it, a relationship which requires no commitment sounds perfect. You see it as an opportunity to spice up your life with just the right amount of passion and butterflies to help you get through the day.
You have someone to call when you are lonely, without having any duties which could rearrange your life. You don’t have to change or make compromises for the sake of the other person and you can continue rocking your single life while having someone to give you a little bit of affection and tenderness when you need it.
Sounds like a great arrangement, right? After all, what can possibly go wrong?
Well, I had the same exact thoughts running through my head before entering my almost relationship. And then, life proved me wrong.
This is why I am about to give you firsthand insight into what this kind of relationship actually looks like. You are about to read 5 things which will surely change your mind about everything you thought you knew about relationships without a title.
1. It is not a real relationship
Modern dating has taught us that a labeless relationship is almost exactly the same as the real one. You spend time with your partner, you communicate on a regular basis, you are physically intimate and basically, you do all the stuff that a regular couple does.
Nevertheless, the emphasis here is on the word almost. This relationship is not a real relationship, even if it is similar to one and this is something you need to be aware of before getting yourself involved in it. You can call it an affair, a situationship or some kind of connection but if it were a real romantic relationship, you guys would have labeled it as such, wouldn’t you?
2. But it will bring you all the real relationship problems
Your almost boyfriend is not someone you can count on at all times. He is not someone who promised to be by your side through good and bad days and he is not the man who signed up to be your best friend and your life partner.
Nevertheless, he will be the cause of your sleepless nights and of your tears. He will be someone you’ll give your precious time and effort to, just like in a real relationship.
Even though this labeless situation is not a relationship, it will bring you all the real relationship problems. Its end will bring you the same amount of emotional pain a real break-up would. Just because you never dated a man, it doesn’t mean he can’t break your heart.
Don’t get me wrong—I am not saying that a labeled relationship guarantees you a stress-free life. I am not saying that labeled couples don’t have problems and disagreements because they most certainly do.
But they also have the benefits of a real relationship which makes all of the hardships worth it. And that is something you don’t have.
When you are in this kind of situationship, you are not entitled to demand anything. You don’t have the right to demand loyalty, fidelity, commitment, effort or closure. Whenever you think about complaining, remember that you are the one who signed up for this.
3. It will probably never get serious
If you are planning on getting yourself involved in this type of relationship in the hope of it one day becoming serious—don’t. A person who doesn’t have second thoughts about you and a person who is sure about his feelings for you will behave accordingly from the start.
Please, don’t lie to yourself that your love will change this man and that he’ll eventually understand that you deserve to have the title of his girlfriend. Don’t fall for his false excuses that he just needs time to get his shit together. Don’t believe in his empty promises that this arrangement is only temporary and that things between you will sort themselves out in no time.
The harsh truth is that nothing will probably ever change. You’ll just end up wasting years of your life next to someone who thinks you are convenient, while you keep waiting for a miracle that will never come.
4. You don’t have the right to be jealous
Another thing you need to be aware of when it comes to entering a relationship without a label is that you are probably not the only girl in this man’s life. After all, he never promised you fidelity or exclusivity which means that you don’t have the right to be jealous.
Nevertheless, I guarantee you that you will be more than upset about this—you’ll just know that you can’t show it. You’ll spend numerous nights crying yourself to sleep, asking what your almost boyfriend has been up to. You’ll do your best to find out everything there is to know about other women in his life, secretly hoping that you are the only one, while not saying a word and knowing that he never gave you the right to ask any questions.
5. You deserve more
Before getting yourself involved in a labeless relationship, know that this is not what you deserve and definitely not something you should settle for. Instead, you deserve a man who will be more than proud to hold your hand in public, to show you his affection in front of everyone and to call you his girlfriend.
You deserve more than being hidden from the world, more than being convenient to a man who can’t make up his mind about you while he actually waits for someone better to come along. You deserve a man who will never make you question your worth and who will consider you important enough to give your relationship a label.