This step-by-step guide on how to please a man in bed won’t be some ordinary birds-and-the-bees talk.
On the contrary, it will spark your imagination, give you some pointers, and get you to open up more about touchy subjects like satisfying a man in bed.
It will also show how perceptions of ourselves and our sexual desires influence our intimacy.
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This guide will provide some juicy tips on how to satisfy a man in bed step by step and, more importantly, how to draw the best for yourself and achieve the highest sexual satisfaction.
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Mutual Pleasure Is Non-Negotiable
You see, great sex is all about mutual satisfaction. That’s why you should never ignore your or your partner’s feelings and desires.
A lot of women disregard their preferences. They put their own pleasure second and after a while, some issues inevitably arise in bed.
Remember that your partner – providing that he is the right guy for you – wants you to enjoy yourself as much as he does and even more.
The best way to learn how to please a man in bed is by taking it one step at a time, so let’s start.
A Step-By-Step Guide On Turning Him On
If you’re a beginner in sex, you want every little detail explained.
How should you start? What exactly should you say or do to make this mean scream your name?
What’s the best way to build up the tension? Should you initiate sex or let him take the lead?
What is he thinking about while we’re doing it? Am I attractive enough? Am I doing something wrong?
These are all the questions bothering you but luckily, you’re about to get all the instructions you need and more.
Stop overthinking things and radiate confidence
It’s not a secret that confidence is extremely sexy. It gives off a sexual energy and the vibe that you are comfortable with who you are and you know what you want.
Of course, we all have our little insecurities. After all, that’s what makes you human.
But you should never bring them to the bedroom with you, so be careful to avoid making that mistake.
The bedroom (or wherever else you decided to have sex) is not the place where you should have any doubts about how you look or how you perform sexually.
If a man is about to have sex with you, it’s because he finds you extremely attractive, and he has a boner the size of Alaska to prove it. So away with the doubts and in with the sex games.
Imperfectly perfect together
Trust me- he doesn’t see your small imperfections. Actually, nobody does- you’re the only one obsessing over your tummy, wrinkles, or stretch marks.
This man knows he’s not making out with a plastic Barbie doll. He wants a real woman next to him and that’s exactly what he got.
The thing that holds us back from having and granting our partner an amazing sexual experience is our heads.
That’s why we should make sure we accept ourselves and our bodies just the way they are.
Also, we should keep in mind that things we consider imperfect might be perfect to our partner.
All in all, he surely has his insecurities about his imperfections and is dealing with them in his way. Not that I’m a sex expert, but in my case, a little praise from you will most certainly help.
Besides, he’ll be happier when he notices that you’re dealing with your flaws just fine. Once he sees that you’re not perfect, he’ll feel better in his own skin as well, since he’ll know you’re not looking for perfection either.
Once we accept our bodies with perfect imperfections, it will reflect on us and our partner will pick up on the sexy vibes we send.
Also, you’ll have no problem leaving the lights on during sex, being on top, walking naked around the apartment… or even trying kinks you never thought you would.
It won’t limit your sex to a few positions only and you’ll enjoy the entire experience more if you look at each other properly.
It all begins in your minds
Once you are comfortable in your own body, it’s time for phase 2 – sparkling your partner’s imagination.
Every sex therapist in the world will tell you the same: your brain is the most important sexual organ. It’s where everything begins and ends.
Before activities between the sheets start, the real action is taking place in our minds.
By lighting the fire in our partner’s imagination and probably in the area of his crotch, we will simultaneously become horny ourselves.
There are a few ways in which we can do that:
Sexting
Sexting is one of the first and most effective ideas that come to mind. There are many directions in which sexting can go. It can vary from subtle vanilla dirty talk to something hardcore.
It depends on your preferences, so let that be your guideline. In any case, sexts are bound to blow his mind and make him eager to see you and rip your clothes off of you.
One of the great perks of sexting is that you have plenty of time to think about what you’re going to say.
Flirting mixed with sexual implications
There are so many ways in which you can flirt to make your partner crave you more.
Words are powerful tools, so whispering something kinky in his ear, asking dirty questions, saying something in front of other people that only he will understand sexually (some code name for something sexual only the two of you know).
You can also say something seemingly innocent that will remind him of the blasting sex you had in the past. It can be a funny story or a reference- what matters is that nobody else gets it.
For example, if your friends are talking about buying new furniture, just casually mention that you’ve recently got a new bed.
All of a sudden, your partner will remember why you had to get rid of the old one- because you two broke it. But of course, nobody else will understand your allusion.
Just like that, you’ll have him reminiscing all of your adventures together. The fact that he can’t do anything about his horniness and that it’s all happening in public will turn him on even more.
You knowing what you did without even touching him will arouse you, as well. So, it’s a win-win situation that will end up in some steamy sex the moment you get rid of the company.
Also using body language can work wonders when flirting is involved. Sometimes, it’ll be enough to look at him in a certain way for him to get a boner.
Lick your lips when nobody is watching and stare directly at him. If you want to push him over the edge, mimick the blowjob motion by pushing your tongue in your inner cheek.
Sending sexy photos
And no, don’t send nudes. That’s never a good idea because nudes can end up all over the internet, so that even those who they weren’t intended for, end up seeing them.
No matter how much you trust your partner, one never knows what the future may bring. Even sending a disappearing photo (the recipient can only see it once and you get notified if they take a screenshot) is not safe either.
You never know if he has another phone he uses to record his screen. Besides, it’ll be too late when you get a notification that he took a screenshot of your DM.
So, when sending sexy photos, or sexy Snapchats, make it subtle.
For instance, you can send your cleavage (your boobs safely tucked in a lace bra), take a mirror selfie in sexy pants, something along these lines.
The idea is to ignite his imagination, not to reveal all. After all, he’s the one who needs to help undress you.
Talk dirty
Dirty talk doesn’t have to be limited to sexting only. It’s even better when you do it in person.
This is another situation in which you shouldn’t let your insecurities limit you. Be confident and don’t let shyness interfere.
There is no way to make a mistake when you talk dirty. Nothing is too much and the only way to blow it is by being more than obviously embarrassed while doing it.
Whatever you say, say it with confidence and as if you mean it. If you’re uncomfortable with dirty talk, it’s better to start things slowly or not to do it at all the first time you’re sleeping together.
The worst thing you can do is push yourself into something you don’t want to do. Your partner will sense your discomfort and everything will be ruined even before it starts.
Foreplay is everything
Any kind of contact without intercourse combined with the previous step is something that will drive your man crazy. It’s like an introduction to actual intercourse, which can be just as enjoyable.
The entire concept of foreplay is to bottle up anticipation and make the actual sexual act that much more exciting.
You wanted to know how to please a man in bed step by step – foreplay is the key that unlocks the doors to pleasure. Despite popular opinion, it really is one of the things men enjoy in the bedroom.
You might think that penetration is the only thing that interests them but trust me- men like oral sex, cuddling, making out and the anticipation all of this brings along just as much as women do.
Massage
To start it off, a good full body massage is something your partner is sure to enjoy. Actually, you can start by slowly massaging his head.
If someone asked you, you’d never consider hair and head to be erogenous zones. But if you do it right and take it as your starting point, I promise you that it’s enough to drive him crazy.
Tammy Nelson, PhD, a sex and relationship expert says that men have nerve endings on their scalp that are attached to the rest of their bodies.
Take it slow, turn some love-making music on, put some massage oil on your hands, and let your fingers slide sensually all over his body.
If you tease him by massaging his inner thighs, he will melt in your hands. He won’t just get a boner- he’ll be on the edge of climax.
And if you want to make the entire experience romantic, fill your room with candles, dim the lights and you’re good to go.
Sexy lingerie
This depends on the man you’re dating. Some enjoy sexy lingerie so much that they will be turned on just by looking at it or touching it.
They will probably ask you to leave it on during cuddling, petting and during sex (if it’s possible).
On the other hand, some men don’t care much about lingerie – they simply prefer to rip your clothes off in the heat of the moment, caring more about what you have underneath the layers.
Sexy lingerie can also be helpful to you- and that’s what matters the most. It can make you feel sexy and confident, and that’s definitely something your partner will pick up on and appreciate.
Even if your partner couldn’t care less about your underwear, you’ll feel better while wearing it. The moment you look at yourself in the mirror, you’ll think of yourself as a femme fatal and that fact alone will skyrocket your pleasure.
Roleplay
It’s something that can be beneficial for couples in long-term relationships, stuck in a rut and want to find ways to spice up their sex and love life, but also for new couples who are into roleplaying.
Taking on a new identity in the bedroom adds to your intimate life’s freshness and fun.
Some roles that couples usually like to act out are: professor & student, repairman & homeowner, strangers in a bar, porn stars, cheerleader & football player, dominant & submissive, and the list is endless.
The important thing is to choose a sexual fantasy you are both comfortable with.
Kissing
There’s nothing quite like kissing when engaging in cuddling and petting. Starting with the lips is a choice in which you can’t go wrong.
Making out increases sexual desire. Redirect your kisses to his neck and stay there for a while.
Then slowly nibble his ear, going back to the neck and finding your way down. Kiss every inch of his body.
The anticipation of a blow job will be something that will make his manhood hard as wood.
You can also change the intensity of your kisses. Depending on the mood, you can go from slow to possessive, maybe even include subtle lip nibbling.
The softness of your lips on his body will give him goosebumps all over. Kissing is often taken for granted, although it really shouldn’t be, as it can do wonders.
Going down on him
There is nothing that screams amazing foreplay (as far as most men are concerned) as oral sex.
A blow job is something men enjoy as much as sex – or perhaps even more. The tip of his penis is the most sensitive part and has the most nerve endings. That’s why it needs special attention.
One of the things that will make his experience even greater is if you keep gently touching his testicles. You can suck and kiss them too.
It will give him greater pleasure than he could ever have dreamed of.
69
The sex position “69” is something that will undoubtedly provoke mutual pleasure. 69ing involves 2 people performing oral sex on each other.
Hearing each other moan and clench from pleasure will make you both aroused beyond limits.
Mutual masturbation
This is also a good tactic that will guarantee the satisfaction of both parties.
You’ll both be able to see each other’s faces in ecstasy and hear the moaning sounds that shift in intonation.
When senses of sight and hearing are combined with the sensation of pleasure that you provoke in each other by using hand movements, the feeling for both of you will be so remarkable, there aren’t enough words to explain it.
Remember, he wants you to enjoy yourself as much as he does.
His ability to satisfy you in bed is a major turn on as well as the proof of his good performance that he’s been looking for.
Sex toys
Including toys in the bedroom might not be a sex tip for beginners but it’s definitely something that will get things going. If you really want to skyrocket the tension, put a show for your partner.
Use your vibrator and make him watch you play with yourself. The thing that will make him go wild is not letting him touch you until you say so. If you’re nervous and can’t get wet, just use the lube and get the show started!
Later on, when you both get totally relaxed, you can both use different sex toys together.
Initiate sex
Men like women who are in touch with their sexuality. So, he’ll be more than happy if you start the moves that gradually lead to sex.
You initiating sex will make him feel wanted.
Be direct, but take it slow. For instance, you can put your hand on his leg and work your way up to his tool, ask him to join you, then take his hand and guide it to your butt or boobs.
He’ll take it from there –or simply lead him to the bedroom and start kissing him. There are a lot of options to use your imagination and you will most definitely shake his.
Game time
After you passed some or all of the aforementioned steps above, you are now at the step that you’ve been going for all along the actual act of having sex.
Usually, this step comes spontaneously without any need to overanalyze or overthink it.
But sometimes, after shifting your positions from top to bottom, you’d like to add a little flavor. That’s where all different kinds of sex positions work magically.
If you want to find out how to please a man in bed, learn some revolutionary sex moves that will rock his world. So, let’s check out some of the most interesting ones:
On top
As I already said, pleasing you is something intensely stimulating for your man.
With you on top, he’ll have a front seat view in witnessing your pleasure first hand. He’ll be able to take in your entire body. But he’ll probably do much more than admire your body.
He might grab your waist or fondle your boobs while you are on top of him. This position is one of the crucial steps in this step-by-step guide to pleasing your man in bed.
This position is also great for you because it gives you control, you dictate the pace, and you can see just how you’re making him beg for more of you.
Intensified missionary position
The missionary position is basic and most couples start with this position. It gives the man the dominant position.
But it also enables prolonged eye contact and a lot of kissing, and in doing so, builds a better connection. The missionary position should not be overlooked since it’s probably one of the most intimate positions.
But in case you want to get more from it, wrap your legs around his waist and lock them on his back. You will be drawing him towards you, making the penetration deeper.
Alternatively, placing your legs on his shoulders to form a “V” shape will have the same effect.
While he is on top of you, you can run your fingers through his hair, grip or caress his arms, or grab his back, making a pleasure-induced imprint of your fingers on his skin.
Those subtle moves will let him know that you are enjoying yourself and that if he keeps it going, you will come really hard really soon – that’ll be all he needs to proceed.
The missionary position is more pleasurable for him because he gets to see your face making gestures of satisfaction.
He’ll see your lips widen as you moan and tremble out of pure pleasure. Knowing that it’s all because of him will make him extremely happy both in and out of bed.
The chair
This position demands female control, so don’t be afraid to take charge.
The man, in this case, represents the chair. He is sitting with his legs outstretched in front of him, using his hands as support.
The woman is on her male partner with her back to him, leaning close to his body.
You sit on top of him, holding onto his hips, and lean your head slightly back while slowly moving up and down.
Spooning
It’s like cuddling and having sex all at once, which increases your level of intimacy. Your partner has to lie down behind you and enter you gently.
This position grants him full access to your body. His hands can go all over you and it is a perfect position to demonstrate his affection and adoration for you.
While in this position, you can use your hands and gently touch his body, pulling him closer.
You can also touch yourself to enhance your pleasure – and his, too, because as soon as he sees that you are masturbating in front of him, it will drive him insane for you.
Sex in front of the mirror
It’s time you start looking in the mirror in a whole different way.
If you and your partner decide to have sex in front of a mirror, you’ll probably do it standing up, with your hands pressed on the wall on both sides of the mirror.
With both you mirror-facing, bend slightly so he can penetrate you.
Hold your head up so he can see your facial expressions and the level of your enjoyment. He will also have a mirror view of your front body parts while he has the perfect view of your bottom part.
For him, the mirror works wonders. On the other hand, you aren’t neglected here either because you can also see him, feel and see his hands on your hips, and all in all, enjoy great sex.
Sex in the shower
First of all, the shower is a great place for heating things. You can start by taking a sponge or simply use your hands to rub and wash his back.
Start making your way down to his tool, and stay for a while in that area, while kissing his freshly showered back.
While lingering in that position, give him a handjob. It will both surprise and amaze him.
He’ll probably not expect it – maybe he’s never had anybody touch his manhood from that angle – except himself, obviously.
The rest of the shower activities will evolve on their own. Let him make the next move. You’ll probably have sex standing up, with not just parts of your body wet, but your entire body.
Quickie
A quickie is not something you plan. It’s something that happens. So when you feel the urge, just let yourself go and enjoy it. Your man will appreciate your sense of adventure.
A quickie can happen anytime and anywhere. But the main cause for it is your mutual burning desire that needs to be relieved.
So, don’t buy into that nonsense that sex has to be long-lasting to be memorable.
A good quickie from time to time works wonders. Sometimes, you just have limited time or perhaps no desire for cuddling or kissing, so you just skip right past that step.
But a quickie will be all you both need to be completely satisfied for the rest of the day.
Reverse cowgirl
This is one more position that grants you full control. You dictate the speed, depth, angle, and intensity of the movement.
It is the easiest way to hit your G-spot and make you come all over your partner.
The basics of this position are that you sit on your partner, turning your back toward him, while he lies flat on the bed.
You can use his knees as support and simply make movements that best satisfy you both. This position is rawer than it is intimate.
It doesn’t provide you with eye contact or that feeling of closeness.
But that doesn’t make it any less pleasurable. It gives him a great view of your behind, and if he is an ass man, he will love this position.
Plus, you can always look back at him for a moment while you are riding him. That fast look will throw both of you over the top.
The pretzel
Just the name of this position is intriguing and something probably new to both of you. Luckily, it’s not as complicated as it sounds.
This position demands that you lie down on your side. Leave your bottom leg stretched and flat.
He’ll straddle your bottom leg while kneeling. Your other leg will be curled around his waist.
This position enables deep penetration – like the one you’d feel during doggy style – only this one enables you that precious eye contact.
The other benefit is that it leaves his hands free to do whatever he wants with them.
Doggy style
If your partner worships your booty, this will be one of his favorite sex positions. To achieve this position, you have to get on all fours.
He kneels, penetrating you from behind with his body leaning on yours.
This position grants him great satisfaction. He can admire the view from behind. He can grab your waist or pull your hair if things get a bit rougher.
He also has to work with you on finding a mutual rhythm that will satisfy you both.
The flat iron
Lie on your stomach with your legs flat and your hips slightly raised. He will straddle both of your legs and penetrate you kneeling down.
This position gives him a tighter feeling that he and you find utterly pleasurable. Trust me- it will be the best sex he’s ever had.
The flat iron also provides you with the feeling of closeness and intimacy you lose during some other “rear” sex positions.
BDSM
Not all guys like a dominate-submissive kind of sex. But if you and your partner are into it, it’s a great way to build up the tension.
Choose who will take over the role of dom and who will be the sub. You can tie each other down or use a whip for maximum pleasure.
When you start trusting each other enough, introduce a blindfold to really heat up the mood.
Whatever you do, just have in mind that your sexual dynamic doesn’t have anything to do with how things are in your love life. Don’t feel humiliated for agreeing with him to dominate you- it’s all a part of the game and you’re not really submissive.
Make sure you compliment his performance
Men love to be complimented on their performances. They want you to have a great time with them; they want to please you sexually.
A man wants to thrive at sex more than any other part of life.
Even though your actions during sex nonverbally said that you loved his moves and enjoyed yourself, it’s not a bad idea to say it aloud.
So after sex, while you are lying in bed cuddling, you might say something along the lines of, “OMG that was great.” or “What was that?! Wooow.”
Simply speak your mind on how you feel at that moment, but don’t overdo it. Just small words of encouragement are enough.
The compliments are not there just to boost his ego. They are also there so that he knows that even if you haven’t reached the orgasm, you had a good time.
Usually, women need more time than men to climax and that’s something natural.
So, don’t make a big deal out of it. One of the next times you’ll get there, so don’t lower his self-esteem by saying you weren’t satisfied.
Be naughty and adventurous
The best, and probably the only way you can fail in your attempt to satisfy a man is if you do nothing.
If you just lie flat on your back expecting him to do everything. That’s not something that will make him happy and satisfied.
But if you’re ready to put in even the slightest effort, your man is sure to appreciate it.
He wants to know that you’re actually enjoying yourself and not thinking about what you’re going to have for lunch the next day.
All he wants is to feel wanted. The best way to achieve that is by being a bit naughty and adventurous.
And while he may like your sweetness and femininity outside the bedroom, inside the bedroom, he would welcome your primal urges emerging.
So, initiate sex, grab his ass, play with his balls, bite him on his necklet your imagination run wild. Relax and enjoy yourself.
Don’t overthink the whole situation – you’ll only hold back the both of you.
Although your question was how to please a man in bed step by step, it’s important to add that the bed shouldn’t be the only place where pleasures are fulfilled.
Be adventurous. Look for new places to have sex or indulge him in some of his fantasies.
So what if you have an apartment, that doesn’t mean that sex in the back seat of the car won’t be just the thing you need.
You can also try a place that carries a risk of being caught – like sex on the balcony with the danger that some of your neighbors might see you, or a quickie in a changing room the next time you go clothes shopping.
Be bold. Don’t let anything scare you. Make the most of every moment you spend in bed – and outside of it.
I hope this simple “How to please a man in bed step by step guide” will come in handy. There are a lot of variations to the given examples and you’ll get there on your own, exploring them with your partner.
Emotional bond
The key to having great sex is having an emotional bond, too.
If you get along with your partner in other aspects of your life together, your sex life will prosper from it.
Because if you have both physical and emotional connection, there is no stopping you. And, the more you engage in sexual activities, the better the sex.
Practice makes perfect
Like all good things in life, sex also gets better with practice. You’ll get to know your partner, his likes and dislikes, his fantasies and sexual desires – and he‘ll know yours.
When you’re both in it for mutual pleasure, it can’t get any better.
How Long Does It Take To Satisfy A Man In Bed?
According to some scientific studies, it takes an average man between three and fifteen minutes to reach climax from the moment of penetration onwards.
Basically, it won’t take you long to get your man the satisfaction he needs- especially if you know what you’re doing. Don’t obsess about his orgasm; I promise that you’ll get him there sooner or later.
On the other hand, if he is taking too long to finish, please don’t think it’s because you’re not attractive enough or because you can’t seem to arouse him.
You know how all guys are obsessing about how long sex should last. They’re worried about pre-ejaculation and they’re trying as hard as they can to keep going for as long as possible.
So, he’s not having trouble reaching an orgasm because you’re doing something wrong. On the contrary, he is probably delaying it so he doesn’t disappoint you.
How Can I Attract My Man In Bed?
If you want to captivate his attention in the bedroom, don’t give up until you see that he’s reached maximum pleasure. Always use your imagination and introduce new things to your sex life.
Closely observe his reaction on everything you do and pay attention to his desires. Most importantly: don’t allow yourself to become predictable.
This is especially significant for long-term relationships. After a while, your intercourse becomes something that has to be done.
You both know what the other person will do next. There are no surprises about what pose you’ll do it in, where you’ll touch each other, at what point you’ll have an orgasm…
And that’s the first sign your love life has fallen into a rut. That’s exactly why being innovative is the way to go!
Also, don’t forget about taking care of your appearance. Yes, the brains are crucial for a good quality intimate life but you still want to be sexually attractive to your man.
I’m not saying that you must look like a top model but things like regular showers, waxs and a mani and a pedi are a must. If you add some make-up, a new hairstyle every now and then, seductive perfume and a sexy outfit- you’ll knock him off his feet.
To Wrap Up:
Now that you’ve got the answer to the question of how to please a man in bed, all you have to do is apply this theory into practice. Yes, talking about something and actually doing it is not the same but I promise you that you’re well-prepared.
You just have to believe in yourself!
I just want to stress once more the importance of confidence in all of this. If you let your insecurities aside and live in the moment, you’re already half the way.
Don’t let anything hold you back. By allowing yourself to feel comfortable in your skin, you’ll automatically enjoy sex more than you ever thought possible.
That’s just the trigger your partner needs to be satisfied in bed, too. It’s all simple when you look at it.
He needs to know that you are pleased so he can be pleased, too.
