How many times did you ignore that gut feeling telling you that you shouldn’t do something, only to do it anyway?
Something like answering back when he texts you or calls you out of the blue?
Did you ever ask yourself why? After everything that happened, you keep giving him second chances.
Don’t get comfortable with accepting less than you deserve.
I know it’s hard to just stop loving once you have fallen so deeply in love but sometimes the problem is not just that.
Sometimes, it’s about our relationship with ourself.
Being alone is often confused with being lonely, while in reality, those are two totally different terms.
Being alone simply means being on your own and not necessarily feeling bad about it.
On the other hand, being lonely is a strong feeling of sadness that comes along with the feeling of having no company.
You miss someone to share your life with and that’s a perfectly normal experience.
However, the problem is when you feel so overwhelmed by the loneliness that you stop seeing things objectively.
When you welcome someone toxic back into your life, you’re welcoming back the things that made you feel lonely in the first place.
It’s a vicious circle you can’t escape and you need to remind yourself of the real cause of your current feeling of loneliness; it’s the toxic person in your life.
A toxic partner can make us feel emotionally abandoned.
What that means is we’re stripped of our main emotional needs—for example:
To be listened to and understood.
Just try to recall all the times you were gaslighted, ridiculed or simply ignored.
To be appreciated and valued.
A healthy partner will always make sure to make you feel worthy and good enough not to question your worth over things that don’t matter.
To feel affection and nurturing.
Showing love openly and physically in a gentle way is one of the best ways to reassure your partner and is not some kind of obligation.
You feel abandoned because of someone’s unresolved resentment, emotional abuse or self-centeredness; everything your toxic ex was guilty of.
Abuse can make you feel like no one can really understand you, so you don’t even try talking and you keep isolating yourself until you’re left with the feeling of loneliness.
Instead of bringing him back into your life, you can turn things around and start accepting your loneliness as a sign that you need a stronger connection with yourself.
It’s a sign that you need to fall in love with yourself first. You need to take time and build confidence and never doubt yourself again.
When you’re not doubting yourself, it’s easy to make the right decisions. It’s easy to cut toxic people out of your life.
You need to give yourself time to fully acknowledge your self-worth and that’s when you’ll stop being scared.
Being lonely can often spark a sense of panic in people because they became aware they alone are responsible for their feelings and decisions.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Every day, you can make a small decision that will lead you closer to happiness.
Take your loneliness as a time to indulge in the things you truly enjoy, things that don’t have to necessarily be useful, just fun.
Treat yourself as your best friend. Decide to fall in love with life again and you will start falling in love with yourself.
When that happens, the loneliness will start to cease and what’s interesting is that this is usually the point in life when a healthy relationship appears.
A healthy relationship comes along when we’re at peace with ourself and that’s when your personality fully shines and that’s exactly what brings the right person along.
Until that happens, stay single and give yourself a chance.
Give yourself a chance to discover all the things that your perfect partner will adore.
Give yourself a chance to experience your life based on your rules and see what happens.
Once we start living how we’re supposed to live, feeling comfortable in our own company, things of the past become just distant memories and our pain dissolves in the happy delight of self-love.