¿Tienes una aventura emocional? 10 señales y etapas

La independencia total y la soledad nos restan energía. Por eso todos vamos por la vida buscando amistades íntimas que nos proporcionen el apoyo emocional que tanto necesitamos.

A menudo lo encontramos en nuestras parejas románticas. Al fin y al cabo, ¿no elegimos compartir nuestra vida con ellos? El problema, sin embargo, surge cuando optamos por buscar consuelo en otra parte.

It’s quite natural to have a friend of the opposite sex, although some may argue that such a friendship always hides forbidden desires of some kind. If such desires do exist, then you are participating in an emotional affair.

So, how do you know when you’ve crossed límites de la relación? Isn’t befriending a person an innocent act since it lacks sexual infidelity? After all, you’re simply having conversations. That can’t cause harm to any of the involved parties. Or, can it?

¿Qué es una aventura emocional?

Esencialmente, una aventura emocional es aquella que carece de intimidad físicay está más bien marcada por una fuerte conexión emocional.

If you find that you’ve reached a higher level of intimacy with your friend instead of your current romantic partner, what you’re experiencing isn’t simply a platonic relationship.

Furthermore, if you can’t seem to talk to your partner about how much you appreciate your friendship with this person, it’s probably because you perceive it as much more.

Perhaps your partner isn’t at all aware that you have conversations with them, or they know of it superficially because you don’t dare to reveal any words you exchanged with them. Esto se debe a que te das cuenta de lo poco significativos que son para ti.

Besides, your partner would instantly recognise that you seem to share something they can’t quite name, but what definitely lacks in your relationship. Let’s be frank – you wouldn’t seek another person if you managed to find all you desire in your romantic partner.

10 señales de advertencia de una aventura emocional

Rara vez se sabe cuándo se está en medio de una aventura emocional. Puede durar años sin que se den cuenta de lo mucho que está debilitando su relación.

However, they mostly sense that something is not quite right. So, if you harbor doubts about the true nature of one of your friendships, you’ve come to the right place.

If you closely observe your own behavior when you’re in the presence of your friend, you will eventually gain clarity. There are numerous signs of emotional infidelity that can assist you with that. Now, stay with me and let’s take a closer look!

1. Sientes atracción sexual.

You may attempt to conceal the truth from others as well as from yourself, but you can’t disregard the feeling. La intensa química sexual es toda la confirmación que necesitas.

When you gaze upon them, it’s not a friend you see. When you poke fun at each other, you aren’t just enjoying their company. En tensión sexual es bastante evidente, aunque te niegues a admitirlo plenamente.

No le gusta sentirse pareja infiel, so you convince yourself that you aren’t flirting, but rather participating in harmless, friendly teasing.

2. If you’re sad, you come to them.

¿Se siente incapaz de confiar en su pareja? ¿No puede ser vulnerable con ella?

If your friend is able to offer you what your partner isn’t, it’s natural for you to start seeking them out whenever you’re in need of empathy and support.

Regardless if it is an everyday struggle or a life-changing traumatic experience, you’re uncomfortable sharing it with your lover. Why? Because you know you won’t get neither validation nor understanding from them.

3. Temes que tu pareja se entere.

¿Alguna vez has dado un paseo con ellos y te has negado deliberadamente a mencionárselo a tu pareja? ¿Nunca les cuentas la duración y la naturaleza de tus conversaciones?

If so, it’s due to sentimientos de culpa.

You’re not concerned that the friendship might be ruined. You’re rather concerned about how you would explain your actions. Ocultar algo es la primera señal de que es inapropiado.

Prefiere seguir recibiendo lo mejor de ambos mundos. As long as you hide it, you don’t have to deal with your faulty relationship nor the fact that you’re hurting both of them porque aunque tu pareja no tenga ni idea, puede sentirlo.

4. Te quejas de tu pareja con ellos.

You aren’t quite ready enfrentarse a su pareja sobre lo que te molesta. Es evidente que existen graves problemas en la relación, pero la otra parte los ignora.

Maybe you feel neglected by your partner while your secret close friend understands what you’re going through perfectly.

You feel as if talking to them is a solution to your problems, but the truth is – your problems are only becoming more enormous by the day.

Everything that drove you to become an emotional cheater is still there, and moreover, other issues have appeared as well – lies and disrespect.

5. Siempre encuentras un motivo para tender la mano.

¿Eres tú quien suele acercarse a ellos primero? ¿Encuentras siempre un tema apropiado para conversar?

Perhaps you’re not fully conscious of your actions, but a part of you is aware of how wrong they are. This is why it’s not particularly easy to start a conversation with them. Así que buscas la excusa perfecta, intentando no parecer demasiado ansioso.

When you finally start talking, though, it is as effortless as a conversation can be. You devote a lot of time to them, and you always return to them because talking with your partner simply can’t compare.

6. Tienes una fuerte conexión emocional.

It’s fairly evident how connected you two are. You invest your emotional energy in each other practically every day.

This is not because you don’t desire such closeness with your partner. You’ve just witnessed many times by now how they don’t possess the ability that your friend does. Puede que estés enamorado de ellos, pero eso no cambia nada.

Love isn’t always enough. What you seek is primarily friendship, and you’ve found that with your aventura emocional compañero.

7. You’re practically best friends.

When you are in this person’s company, you feel utter peace. There is no awkwardness nor pretense in order to please each other.

You get along so well because you’re similar. Nunca tienes que preocuparte de molestarles con tus bromas. Más bien les excita, y ellos te excitan a ti.

You share the same sense of humor, make each other’s day by sending hilarious memes, and offer tenderness when your day isn’t all that enjoyable.

Esencialmente, sois como dos mejores amigos que han jurado guardar el secreto. Teméis perderos el uno al otro, así que ambos permanecéis en silencio.

8. Sientes celos.

¿Alguna vez los has visto coquetear con un compañero de trabajo, and suddenly get filled with anger? You know you’re taken yourself, and you have no right to them, but you can’t bear to see them interested in someone other than you.

Worst of all, you can’t even tell them what a dreadful feeling that is. You can’t tell anyone. You might be acting like a couple without actually being one, but you never express your inner desires. You suffer in silence.

You feel as if your actions don’t count as long as you don’t turn them into a confession. But really, everything you do is a confession.

9. Te vuelves ligeramente posesivo.

Do you get oddly upset when they don’t return your phone calls, or when they reply to your text hours later? Why do you think that is? Why do you need their presence so much?

Nunca verbalizas tus emociones, pero se hacen evidentes en lo que dices a continuación. Sientes que posees a tu pareja de la misma manera que posees a tu pareja romántica.

When they slip away from your fingers, you feel powerless. You know they aren’t quite yours, and they can do as they please. This is why you simply turn your distress into a witticism, secretly wishing things were different.

10. You’re close, yet distant.

Since you’re spoken for, eventually you realise that you’re not the only relevant party. This forces you to distance yourself from your friend, and to treat them as you would any other.

You yearn for closeness again, but you’re very well aware that you can’t have it, at least not how you once did.

Si esta decisión representa un enorme problema para ti, entonces el afecto que sientes por ellos es mayor de lo que crees. Lo que necesitas podría ser una reevaluación profunda de tu relación romántica.

Etapas de la aventura emocional

Los asuntos emocionales son realmente complejos. Nunca son fáciles de resolver. Están causados por problemas en las relaciones, y traen consigo otros adicionales.

¿Cómo es estar en una? ¿Cómo actúan las parejas infieles? ¿Cómo ponen fin a su aventura?

Bueno, esencialmente, hay cuatro etapas de una aventura emocional. Si quiere saber más sobre ellos, siga leyendo.

1. Algo falta en tu relación.

La presencia de otra pareja requiere, en primer lugar, una necesidad insatisfecha. Son ellos los que garantizan la satisfacción de sus necesidades.

Perhaps your partner is too cold, and you’re in need of una persona empática who can understandingly listen to you. Or, perhaps they just don’t understand your sense of humor.

En cualquier caso, estás agotado por la falta de algo que deseas tanto que estás dispuesto a buscarlo en otra parte.

2. Empiezas a acercarte a otra persona.

Forming a new friendship has finally fulfilled all your needs. You’re in una relación comprometida with your partner, all the while receiving the things they’re unable to give you from someone else.

No hay límites establecidos. La intimidad que sientes está en su nivel más alto. La vacilación de cualquier tipo es inexistente.

You rarely admit that this is wrong simply because you’re unaware of its seriousness. You may care about both parties, but just not enough to do right by them.

3. Establece límites con ellos.

You finally admit to yourself that what you’re doing is wrong, and you take action towards remedying it.

You’re having a hard time abandoning your friend, but you do lower the level of closeness. You think all issues will be solved by distance, but you don’t realise how confused your friend must be, and how, technically, you are still an emotional cheater.

You don’t realise that the best option would be ending the friendship, or ruptura con tu amante principal.

4. Abandonas una de las relaciones.

You can’t do it anymore. Hiding how you feel takes strenuous efforts, and you’re finally prepared to sort your problems out.

O conversas con tu pareja para mejorar vuestra relación, o la abandonas para iniciar una nueva relación con tu amigo.

En cualquier caso, no hay más mentiras. Usted encuentra su paz, pero uno de sus socios está obligado a sufrir mucho.

¿Es adulterio una aventura emocional?

La respuesta es sí.

I’m certain that when you hear the word ‘affair’, what instantly comes to your mind is sexual intercourse. This is, after all, the most discussed type of adultery, and utterly unforgivable at that.

La idea de que tu amante esté físicamente involucrado con otra persona te hace sentir tan desgraciada como uno pueda sentirse. Crees que no hay peor forma de traición que una aventura sexual. Sin embargo, cuando experimentas la infidelidad emocional, te das cuenta de lo equivocada que estabas.

I don’t wish to compare one painful situation with another. I am merely here to show you how emotional cheating can be just as hurtful.

Sex doesn’t necessarily involve emotional intimacy of any sort while an emotional affair is a much deeper connection with someone who’s NOT your partner.

Think about it. You get so intimate with your friend that you share with them all you somehow can’t reveal to your partner. And, you don’t even confess that this friendship exists in the first place.

Engañar implica concealment, and it’s not only sex that you can conceal. If you find yourself more connected to your friend than your lover, you have a problem.

¿Los mensajes de texto son un asunto emocional?

The answer is YES, assuming the relationship involves all we had previously mentioned. Truth be told, this new ‘digital’ era of los mensajes de texto y las redes sociales hicieron más accesibles los asuntos sentimentales que antes.

En isn’t that relevant, though, which means you sustain your emotional affair. You can meet up regularly, or do nothing but text each other. It’s all the same – you’re cheating on your partner.

Not looking at someone’s eyes while talking doesn’t alter the fact that you’re exchanging details which are specifically meant for your primary lover.

So, if you’re ever tempted to text someone something “sensitive” thinking it will have no harmful effect, I plead with you to think again.

You aren’t just friends. You are rather giving that person hope all the while knowing you will never want any serious involvement with them. Moreover, you are disrespecting your primary partner to whom you should offer all of your affection.

¿Las relaciones emocionales se convierten en relaciones físicas?

A veces.

Suelen seguir siendo emocionales precisamente porque la gente no ve en ellos el mismo daño que en las relaciones sexuales. Otras veces, sin embargo, se convierten en una física.

It’s hard to say because each situation is very specific. People cheat a lot, but as we’ve established, they aren’t always ready to face themselves. They are guilt-ridden, so they don’t proceed to the next level.

If they do proceed, however, it’s because the sexual desire towards their affair partner has become stronger than the guilt, or else the guilt is nonexistent altogether.

¿Son frecuentes las relaciones sentimentales?

Bastante común.

You’ve either started it yourself, or you surely know someone who has. A lot of people engage in conversations with others thinking it lacks meaning, so they simply proceed.

Puede que una mujer esté enviando mensajes a un chico que está claramente encaprichado de ella. Constantemente la felicitay a veces incluso le expresa directamente sus sentimientos. Piensa en él sólo como un amigo, lo que le dice, sin inmutarse por su amor hacia ella.

She doesn’t mention it to her boyfriend in order not to hurt his feelings, but she continues to talk to the guy, bringing their connection to a whole new level.

Pido disculpas por informarle, pero usted está, de hecho, teniendo una aventura emocional.

This is why it’s so common. People perceive it as merely a talk when it’s really infidelity.

¿Es amor una relación sentimental?

No necesariamente.

You may be inclined to think that someone’s tendency for engaño emocional es señal de falta de amor por su pareja. Su razonamiento es válido y cierto en determinadas situaciones. Sin embargo, esto puede llegar a ser mucho más complejo que eso.

Esencialmente, una aventura emocional ocurre debido a dos posibles razones:

1. You’re not satisfied with your current relationship, although you love your partner.

A person can enter an emotional affair even if they’re in love with their partner, but their relationship has many underlying issues. They are aware of the issues at present, but they don’t see them as deal-breakers.

En su lugar, buscan soluciones FUERA de la relación primaria. Tanto la confrontación como el abandono son opciones por las que se niegan a optar.

2. You’re satisfied with your relationship, but seem to love someone else.

In this case, there’s nothing in need of fixing in your relationship. You just have feelings for someone other than your partner. Since it’s an affair of the heart, you can’t help but constantly seek them out.

You don’t depart from your lover because you care for them. Causing them pain is the last thing you want, but you’re completely unaware that that is inevitable whichever choice you opt for.

Contempla tus propias razones y toma una decisión en consecuencia. En cualquier caso, pon fin a la aventura.

¿Cómo restablecer la confianza tras una aventura emocional?

Trusting your partner again after you’ve been emotionally cheated on isn’t easy. However, it isn’t impossible either. If you both put in the necessary effort to strengthen the bond between you, you will eventually succeed.

You’re not obliged perdonar y olvidar de inmediato. Pero puedes intentar comprender el origen primario del problema y cómo evitar que vuelva a ocurrir.

A continuación le indicamos algunas medidas que puede tomar para conseguirlo y reconstruir la confianza en su relación:

1. Responsabilízate a ti mismo.

If you are the one who is emotionally cheating on your partner, you’re probably filled with guilt. While you really ARE the guilty party, holding on to that emotion will benefit neither you nor your partner.

Don’t dwell on self pity. Your focus, then, will be on the past. Isn’t your goal to nurture the relationship you thought was doomed to end?

En lugar de eso, simplemente asume la responsabilidad de tus actos. Admite que fuiste tú quien optó por todas las formas equivocadas de afrontar los problemas. Admítelo y busca la forma de recuperar lo que casi has perdido.

2. Expresa libremente lo que te molesta.

You do realize that the problems in your relationship arose by you refusing to talk, right? If you do, then it’s time to do things a bit differently.

If you feel that your partner’s actions or words somehow cause you distress, do not suppress it. You’ve seen that suppression brings nothing good.

Sepa que sus emociones son válidas y que merece ser escuchado.

Al fin y al cabo, nunca fuiste culpable por sentirte como te sentías, sino por las acciones que llevaste a cabo PORQUE te sentías así.

3. No tener más secretos.

¿Te has hecho amigo de una persona nueva? Ve y cuéntaselo a tu pareja. Quizá te lleve tiempo volver a ganarte su confianza, pero puedes empezar por no volver a tener secretos.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have no right to a private life. You may be in a relationship, but first of all, you are an individual. It’s perfectly understandable to not want to share certain details with anyone, including your partner, too.

You don’t have to give tu móvil para que lo inspeccionen. You don’t need to unfollow all attractive people on social media for them to trust you again. These are rather unhealthy methods.

Sin embargo, si esos detalles implican cualquier cosa que pueda faltar al respeto a su pareja, ocultarlo no es el camino a seguir. You’re allowed to have friends, but if you feel strangely about them, perhaps it’s time to finally depart from your partner.

4. Pruebe el asesoramiento matrimonial.

Seeking out a therapist is not a shameful step to undertake. After all, what’s more relevant than your own mental health?

Hable de cómo se siente en terapia de pareja como fuera de ella. Evitarlo es precisamente la razón por la que se ha llegado a esto en primer lugar.

Remember that it will be greatly difficult to improve your relationship, but since you’ve taken all these steps, it’s clear how much you care about one another.

Puede que la aventura haya supuesto una ruptura de la confianza, pero también es una oportunidad para renovar vuestra relación. Esta vez, crea un vínculo que ningún problema pueda romper.

How Do You Know It’s Just Friendship?

Naturalmente, no todos los amigos tienen intenciones ocultas. Es muy posible que amar platónicamente a alguien y no desear una implicación sexual ni romántica.

If you’re particularly interested in this paragraph, that means you doubt your friendship. You needn’t worry because it’s fairly easy to recognize that you perceive them as a possible partner.

Si los deseas, simplemente LO SABRÁS. Para algunos, sin embargo, puede no ser tan sencillo. Si perteneces a la segunda categoría, sigue leyendo para averiguar cómo te sientes.

He aquí algunos signos de una amistad platónica:

• There’s no sexual tension.

• You’re happy when they have exciting love stories to tell.

• You’ve never thought about a relationship with them.

• You enjoy their company, but you don’t really need them.

• You freely talk to your partner about them.

• Since there are no hidden desires, you’re comfortable with being seen.

• Showing your conversations to your partner wouldn’t be a problem.

• You never compare them with your lover because they have all you need.

Si alguno de estos signos te resulta familiar, puedes estar tranquilo porque lo que sientes es amor platónico.

Reflexiones finales

It’s not too difficult to differentiate between a friendship and an emotional affair. While the former lacks any romantic or sexual desires, the latter is recognized by them. Still, those desires are never actually acted upon.

This is why it’s called an ’emotional’ affair because it’s strictly concerned with how both parties feel towards each other. La conclusión es que están conectados emocionalmente, pero ninguna de las partes se toca ni confiesa cuánto lo desea.

If you have read this article and recognized signs of emotional infidelity in your own life, I plead with you to reconsider your actions. Firmly decide who you wish to form a long-lasting relationship with. This time, choose a way that won’t be so unkind.