Cómo descifrar el comportamiento de un chico tras una ruptura (7 señales de que está dolido)

I know that all women would like to know how to decode a guy’s behavior después de una ruptura. ¿Está sufriendo o no? ¿Le importas o nunca le importaste? ¿Te bloqueó? ¿Alguna vez reunir? 

Tenemos esas y muchas más preguntas sobre cómo los hombres afrontar las rupturas answered for you in this little guide below. We’ll help you enter into their minds and, if you want to get your ex back, this knowledge of psicología masculina seguramente ayudará.

La verdad es que ser en un largo-relación a largo plazo is inevitably going to result in one of two things. You’re either going to spend your life with this person or you’re eventually going to call it quits.

That’s just the factual reality of the dating world.

And in my own personal experience, I’d much rather romper a tiempo if I see that the relationship is going nowhere fast, because what’s the point in sticking around if you know that this is not your person?

This leads me to my second point…

¿Les importa a los chicos después de una ruptura?

No matter what you’ve read or heard, guys suffer just as much as girls do después de la ruptura.

They’re only human and if you think your ex-boyfriend has magically risen above his desamor and entered a new relationship with a healed, happy heart, you’d be dead wrong.

See… guys want you to think that things don’t affect them and that they manejar las rupturas como los machos que son.

Pero, ¿quieres saber cuál es la verdad?

Te echan de menos cada segundo de cada día, y su autoestima recibe un golpe enorme (especialmente si usted era el volquete), but they just don’t have the balls to face their emotions the way girls do!

Todos sabemos lo que hay que hacer cuando se trata de chicas.

Esta es una oportunidad perfecta para volver a conectar con tus mejores amigos. I’m sure you neglected them a bit because of your relationship.

Go out and have the most fun girls’ night ever. Or, you can stay in and buy copious amounts of wine, then bitch about him on your couch until the wine kicks in and you start feeling like the boss-ass bitch you are and realize you’re better off without him.

(Hasta que llega mañana y todo vuelve a parecer demasiado real.).

Repeat the process for a few weeks until you get your head in order with the help of your support system. Finally, unfollow him on your social media accounts, and pick up your broken pieces without needing anyone’s help.

El dolor emocional is still there, but you’re not denying it.

You’re willing to face your negative emotions and hard times head-on and take relationship advice from your girlfriends knowing they’ve got your back.

And with time it really does get better. He’s just one guy and this heartache is going to pass if you process it in a healthy way.

Véase también: Esconderse del mundo: 5 formas de hacerlo y cómo ser visto

¿Cómo afrontan los chicos las rupturas?

With men, things are a little different. Men can’t hacer frente a las cargas emocionales como las chicas porque les hace sentirse menos hombres.

Así que.., cómo se comportan los chicos después de una ruptura?

They’ll deny their heartache, enter nuevas relaciones sin procesar su dolor, y utilizar redes sociales to make you feel they’re doing better than they actually are.

And why? Because they can’t handle being alone as well as girls can, they turn to relación de rebote y las citas en línea en busca de una nueva novia en lugar de lidiar con el dolor de su relación anterior.

Van ningún contacto, instead of resolving their issues with their ex-girlfriends, which doesn’t allow them to truly get over it when the relationship ends.

Esto compromete sus futuras relaciones porque nunca pueden ir a por todas, debido a la falta de cierre.

Heartbreak es algo que requiere sensibilidad, comprensión de tu propia psique y bienestar, junto con apoyo emocional de sus seres queridos.

Chicos trato con esto haciendo casi exactamente lo contrario.

Se saltan los pasos necesarios y se lanzan directamente a la parte de la actuación (beberse hasta el culo con sus colegas, ligues al azar, etc.). llamadas telefónicas de borrachos to their exes, calling on their mutual friends and bitching about the other… etc.)

Y al día siguiente, cuando la realidad se impone y se dan cuenta de lo perjudicial que es su comportamiento para su curación, lo reprimen todo y van a por el segundo asalto.

En empiezo a echarte de menos and they’re hurting, but they’ll never say it face to face. They go out with their friends, find new hobbies, drown themselves in work… They try everything just to keep you off their mind.

And the toxic cycle just keeps on turning until they can’t take it anymore and realize that every little thing they’ve done to get over their ex-novia ha sido contraproducente.

Guys’ brains are just wired differently. They are supposed to be these strong, macho men (en sus propias cabezas) y cualquier signo de emoción real está estrictamente mal visto.

Dios no quiera que admitan que they’re hurting y realmente pasar por el proceso como una persona sana lo haría, ¿verdad?

But I’m here to show you that guys really don’t have it all figured out. They just want you to think that they do.

Puedes ver su ex-novio salir por la noche y publicar fotos en redes sociales como un animal de fiesta, pero lo que debes saber es esto: Todo este exterior duro con su mierda resuelta es simplemente un mecanismo de afrontamiento.

Because if he actually let himself FEEL what he’s feeling, the ground would crumble underneath his feet and his head would shatter from all the unresolved issues he’s been suppressing for so long.

Créeme cuando te lo digo, guys’ behavior after a breakup is anything but what they’re letting on.

Inside, there’s a fragile man with un corazón rototratando de arreglar las piezas de todas las maneras equivocadas.

Así que antes de llamar a tu ex desalmado por seguir adelante tan rápido, descartando por completo volver a estar juntos, considera las siguientes señales que demuestran exactamente lo contrario.

¿Cómo saber si un chico está dolido tras una ruptura?

It’s a well-known fact that hombres y mujeres afrontan las rupturas de maneras totalmente diferentes.

Women tend to cry and I think it’s the reason why they move one faster than guys. They let all of their negative emotions out almost right after the split happens.

On the other hand, men don’t want to show that they’re suffering and they keep bottling up their emotions as if they will never come out to the surface. And that’s precisely where the biggest problem arises.

Tarde o temprano, todos esos agobios, emociones reprimidas encuentran una salida y se vuelven más dolorosas de lo que eran antes. Al final, esa evasión emocional se traduce en un comportamiento bastante autodestructivo.

Si quieres averiguar si tu hombre está sufriendo tras la ruptura, tienes que observar atentamente su comportamiento y tratar de encontrarle sentido. Si su ex pareja ha mostrado estos 7 signos después de la ruptura, trust me, honey, he’s hurting big time.

Te da de baja en las redes sociales

Un día, estabas desplazándote por tu Instagram y de repente te diste cuenta de que su presencia no aparecía por ningún lado.

So you went to check his profile and what do you know… he’s deleted you from Insta! Quickly, you go to your other accounts and find out the same shit happened everywhere.

And you’re baffled. After so much time together, he just nonchalantly decides to delete your presence from his online world.

Naturally, you’re pissed! You take it personally (even though you probably shouldn’t) and immediately call your girls to bitch about this.

But what you don’t realize is that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

A los chicos se les enseña que deben ser impermeables al dolor y desamor ¡es la personificación de ello!

So to make it easier on himself, he deletes every trace of you from his social media accounts so as not to have to be reminded of the pain he’s suppressing.

Or, he may even do it because he doesn’t want to come into the temptation of reaching out and sending you a (probably) mensaje de texto de borracho.

Guys don’t deal with this shit at all. They just wipe it under the rug and put it on a tough exterior.

But if he had to see your face every day as he’s scrolling through his Insta, Facebook or Snapchat, his heart would break all over again.

Le duele ver tu cara. Le duele saber te dejó ir. He might even shed a tear over it, but he can’t let it happen. He doesn’t want to see you because he’s actually a coward, a man who can’t face his actions. End. Of. The. Story.

So he ignores how he feels (heartbroken), deletes any sign of your social media presence, and pretends it’s all okay.

He can’t see you face to face

Tras una ruptura, las emociones suelen estar a flor de piel y toda lógica sale por la puerta.

Ambos estáis dolidos, confusos y dudáis si dejar que todo pase sin darle sentido. Y las agresiones suelen producirse por falta de sentido común tan pronto después de la ruptura.

With guys, it’s all on an even bigger level. Your ex-boyfriend can’t see you because he hasn’t dealt with what’s happening at all.

He’s hurt, angry, and perplexed, and very likely to resort to anger and yelling because you are the reason for this pain.

And I don’t mean it in a negative way. You’re la que perdió, and therefore he’s in pain and angry.

Seeing you only reminds him of how poorly he’s treated you and therefore lost you, so he lashes out big time.

The very thing he’s so desperately trying to avoid is staring him straight in the eye and trying to have a conversation with him, and he can’t handle it.

Quiere alejarse, pero hay cosas que discutir.

Who gets the dog? Who’s the one who has to move out? Is this realmente sucediendo o sólo necesitas un descanso ¿para averiguar una mierda?

Talking is mandatory because that’s the only way to get closure.

He’s unable to see you without feeling crappy, and that’s why he avoids seeing you face to face. It brings out so much shit that he’s just not ready to deal with.

Véase también: Lee esto cada vez que empieces a compararte con una chica más guapa

Empieza a aparecer en lugares que frecuentas

Sometimes, guys’ behavior after a breakup is so transparent. It’s too obvious that he’s going through the motions and he gives it all away with his unorthodox actions.

Por ejemplo, sabe que nunca va a su cafetería favorita, sobre todo para holgazanear y no hacer nada.

But all of a sudden, there he is. Sitting there, sipping his coffee and pretending to be surprised that he’s bumped into you.

Like he doesn’t already know that this is where you get your after-work caffeine fix with your girls. So he says hi, chats you up, and marvels at this wonderful coincidence.

Only it was all planned in advance. See, he can’t get you out of his head, but he also doesn’t want to seem desperate llamándote y preguntándote cómo estás.

He’s too much of a man for that. So he decides to show up at places he knows you’ll be, and have a mini convo to see you and get his fix.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with this. The chico claramente te echa de menos and since he can’t simply talk to you about his feelings and hash things out if possible, he’ll resort to these measures just to see your face.

That way, his reputation is untarnished and he’s not letting his negative emotions get the better of him.

Luckily, you know better and you can enjoy the fact that you’ve left such a big hole in your ex’s heart.

Empieza a enviarte mensajes de texto obsesivamente

Avoidance didn’t do the trick since he clearly can’t get you out of his head, and pretending that he’s okay is silly since he can’t lie to himself.

Así que cierra el círculo y vuelve a usted. It’s eating him alive not knowing how you are and what you’re doing, and since nothing else worked, he starts blowing up your phone.

First, it appears to be just friendly banter – where you are, how you’re doing, what’s been going on in your life – and for a minute, it all seems normal.

Pero entonces empieza a sacar el tema de la ruptura y se pone en plan detective contigo.

Why did you guys break up in the first place, how did you let it happen, he might even start blaming you for how it all went down, and all that because he’s hurting and te quiere de vuelta.

A guy who’s over you and turned a new page wouldn’t be blowing you up this way and pinning blame.

A guy who has his shit together doesn’t reminisce about the breakup and mentions volver a estar juntos, as if it didn’t take you so long to finally move on.

His behavior is shady but it all comes from a place of misplaced hurt. He still has feelings for you and he can’t process them right.

So he texts you, calls you and initiates conversations to try to make sense of what’s going on and help himself avanzar.

Crea una falsa narrativa sobre la ruptura

One of the most concerning types of guys’ behavior after a breakup is distorting the truth about how it all happened.

Clearly, you know what went down and he does too. There’s no point lying to yourselves.

Pero cuando uno de los miembros de la pareja no puede afrontar las secuelas de la ruptura, tiende a crear su propia versión de la verdad.

Se trata de un mecanismo de afrontamiento that lets them face what happened easier and look better in other people’s eyes.

Suddenly, you’ll start hearing stories about your breakup that bear zero resemblance to what actually took place.

Si fueras tú quien vertido him, all of a sudden, he’ll turn things around and make it seem as if it was all his idea.

Fue él quien inició la ruptura because you were suffocating him or he just couldn’t handle your bossy personality anymore.

Whatever he starts telling people, it’ll be a blatant lie.

And do you know why he’s doing this? It’s because he’s so hurt and feels betrayed by your breakup that the only way to feel better is to be the victim in other people’s eyes.

He can’t change what happened but he sure can tell his own version and, in that way, move on knowing he’s no longer el malo.

This behavior is unhealthy and hurtful toward you, so it’s on you to talk to him and make him see how wrong and toxic this is.

Véase también: ¿Sexo con amigos? Los 10 mayores secretos que nadie te contará

Se convierte en un gilipollas

Sí. A veces los chicos se convierten en completos gilipollas after the breakup and they’re the only ones who can make any sense of that shitty behavior.

They look at it this way: ”You’re the one who dumped me, so now I get to hurt you back.”

They become obnoxious and unbearable. Anytime they’re around their ex-girlfriend, they start calling her names, being nasty, and acting as if she’s a bitch simply because she couldn’t handle being around his sorry ass anymore.

Este es el peor tipo de comportamiento que un hombre puede mostrar después de una ruptura.

It shows his lack of respect for his ex and it proves my point – guys suck at handling their emotions post-breakup!

You’re the one who stood by his side while he was going through shit.

You’re the one who held his hand when it wasn’t easy for him. And how does he repay you?

By hurting you and treating you like an enemy. I don’t know how much this is going to help, but the only reason he’s doing it because deep down he’s still hurting.

He’s not over you and he can’t accept how things ended, so he turns you into his enemy.

For some guys, this only lasts for a short amount of time until they realize how childish and cruel they’re being. Here’s hoping that yours is among them!

Se lanza a una nueva relación

One of the weirdest guys’ behavior after a breakup is moving straight into a new relationship.

What the hell is up with that? It doesn’t even have to be an actual, relación seria. También puede tratarse de un rollo de una noche que se convierte en algo más que eso.

Pero, por desgracia, esto es lo que su ego masculino le dice que haga. Usan esa validación como una tirita para su baja autoestima. Unfortunately, they don’t know that it’s nothing but a short-term solution.

En lugar de afrontar su mierda de frente, siente la necesidad de demostrar a todo el mundo lo duro y varonil que es y la mejor forma de hacerlo es dejándose ver con otra chica.

Why? Because then, he’ll show everyone just how strong and impervious he is.

Nada puede con él, ni tú ni su desamor. Y su nueva relación es el comienzo de un nuevo él.

Only, that’s just a front. He’s anything but equipped to handle a new GF since his old one is still clearly taking the top spot in his heart.

A guy who’s lidiando con su dolor doesn’t do anything rash.

A guy who has his ducks in a row doesn’t feel the need to impress the public with his array of new chicks. He just doesn’t care lo que piensen los demás

It’s his life and his choices. The only person whose opinion he should consider is his own and yours.

Lástima que los hombres tiendan a ser tan testarudos en su supuesta hombría que no vean lo infantiles que les hace. Irónico, ¿eh?

So if your ex-boyfriend is parading around town with his new girlfriend, don’t take it too personally (even though it hurts like fuck, I know). He’s acting out and pretending to be okay.

Pero que sepas que un día, su dolor se catch up with him and he’ll finally be forced to face his demons.

Without it, he’ll never be able para seguir adelante, because the fact is that he can’t move on before he actually goes through the healing process. And he can’t heal until he’s ready to face all of his emotions.

Véase también: 8 problemas de las relaciones a distancia (y cómo hacer que funcionen)

¿Cuánto tarda un chico en arrepentirse de su ruptura?

Por desgracia, ni yo ni nadie puede darte una respuesta definitiva a esta pregunta. Sin embargo, la mayoría de los expertos en relaciones coinciden en que un chico puede tardar hasta seis meses en llegar a ese punto de arrepentimiento.

We already saw that men deal with heartaches and breakups in a totally different way than we do. They skip all the ‘normal’ things that usually come after a breakup, all those negative feelings and deep emotional pain.

It’s just like their stubborn pride doesn’t allow them to show to their ex-partner and to the rest of the world that they’re suffering.

Intentan encontrar el consuelo que tanto necesitan en los brazos de otra mujer o en salir de fiesta con sus amigos todo el día. Desgraciadamente, sólo consiguen comportamiento autodestructivo.

They skip the whole healing process and think (or at least want to think) that they’re ready to move on. After some time, it all hits them big-time and that’s when regrets creep upon them.

Por fin aceptan todas sus emociones, tanto las positivas como las negativas, y se sienten preparados para afrontarlas todas.

Finalmente, comprenden que su estúpido ego masculino podría costarles perder a la mujer que honestamente aman y comienzan a luchando por su amor.

It may take some time, it may take even more than six months, but once a man reaches this ‘regretting phase’ he’ll do just about everything to win you over again.

However, the thing you should really think about is the reason why he’s coming back into your life again. Does he miss you because te quiere? O, ¿volvió porque echa de menos tener a alguien que se preocupe de verdad por él en su vida?

So, the question shouldn’t be WHEN is he going to regret the breakup, but WHY… What are the reasons that made him change his mind and come back into your life…

¿Cómo conseguir el cierre?

By realizing that you can’t change the past, but you puede toma las riendas de tu presente. Los chicos serán chicos.

Si tuviste la suerte de salir con un verdadero caballero, you’ll decode your guy’s behavior after the breakup very easily.

Algunos chicos manejan las rupturas sorprendentemente bien y tratan a sus ex novias con el máximo respeto, ¡y así debería ser!

Pero hay tipos cuyo comportamiento empieza a ser extremadamente perjudicial para su propio bienestar y a reflejarse muy mal en ti también.

That’s an unfortunate instance, but your main takeaways should be these:

1. If he’s acting out, making rash decisions and behaving like a completely different person, it’s all because he’s hurting on the inside and he’s refusing to face all those sentimientos negativos.

Don’t take it personally. It has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you.

2. Verlo con una nueva chica es una de las píldoras más difíciles de tragar, especialmente tan pronto después de la ruptura.

PERO, eso sólo significa he’s not over usted, guys who process their emotions in a healthy way don’t just jump from one relationship to another. They’ve got heart.

3. Dejar de seguirte en redes sociales means that it’s too painful for him to see the face of the girl he let go on a daily basis.

So instead of clearing the air with you and by being frank, he deletes all traces of you online, thinking it’ll help him cope (Hint: it won’t, at least not in the long run).

4. Y por último, cuando los chicos se convierten en completos idiotas después de la ruptura, it only means they’re too immature to handle their demons like adults.

Tratando de parecer macho, hace exactamente lo contrario. Cuando lo veas así, aléjate y compadécete de él.

He’s the one who’ll have to face his shitty actions one day, not you.

Recuerda que alguien que te ama de verdad nunca se arriesgaría a perderte.