11 Novios Amigas Límites Que Deben Seguirse
Let’s be honest: nobody is overjoyed that their partner has friends of the opposite sex. Even if your boyfriend’s female friends don’t represent any danger to your relationship, deep down, you can’t help but feel threatened by their presence in his life.
So, what exactly should you do about it? Should you turn into a psycho girlfriend who expects her boyfriend’s friend to stop existing just because you appeared on the scene?
De ninguna manera. En lugar de eso, tengo una solución mucho mejor para ti: ponle límites a tus amigas.
This way, both of you can have a place in your man’s life, and everyone’s role is clearly defined!
La Lista De Novios Amigas Límites
If you want a healthy relationship, follow these rules, and you’re good to go:
1. Su relación es lo primero
Le guste o no, la relación con tu novio siempre es lo primero, pase lo que pase. You don’t care how long she has been in his life or what they’ve been through. It’s not okay for que la ame más que a ti!
You need to set some clear boundaries regarding your time together. It’s not acceptable for him to cancel your plans to hang out with his friend or to only call you when she is too busy to spend time with him.
You’re the women he chose to share his life with, and nobody should come before you. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be selfish and demand to be the only person he spends time with.
Yes, you’re the only woman in a romantic sense for him. And you’re his priority.
However, if his female best friend needs a hand or has an emergency, don’t make a big deal about it. If he runs off and helps her, it only shows that you’re dating a good person with a kind heart.
2. Sin contacto físico
Let’s be honest: some friends are used to a lot of physical contact. They don’t see it as a big deal – sometimes they sleep next to each other in the same bed, tease one another, she sits on his lap, and stuff like that.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that there must be anything sexual about this. Maybe they’ve been friends their entire lives and don’t see anything wrong with this kind of contact.
Sin embargo, esto debería ser un punto de inflexión cuando se trata de los límites entre novio y amiga. Tu novio está en una relación comprometida y este tipo de comportamiento ya no es aceptable.
They’re still allowed to quickly hug or kiss each other on the cheek when they greet, but anything more than that is out of the question.
I don’t care if he thinks of her as a sister – they’re not related, and he is a human being. The last thing you need is to wonder whether he’ll get a natural bodily reaction to this woman’s presence.
3. Ninguna tercera rueda
It’s one thing if you and your boyfriend hang out with his friends in a group setting from time to time. That is a great sign that he wants to make you part of his life. But even those get-togethers shouldn’t come at the expense of your one-on-one time.
Sin embargo, lo que no es aceptable es que su amiga femenina sea una constante tercera rueda durante tu tiempo a solas. I mean, you two are dating – this is not a polyamorous relationship!
At the risk of sounding selfish, you shouldn’t care whether she has no one to go on vacation with or that she’s celebrating New Year’s Eve by herself. I’m not saying that the three of you can never spend time together, but please don’t become her foster carer.
Besides, just because she is your boyfriend’s BFF doesn’t mean you have the desire to spend your free time with her as well.
4. Sin conversaciones secretas
Los ultimátums no suelen ser la mejor opción para un relación sanapero, a veces, hay que emitirlas. Este es uno de esos casos.
Le guste o no, su pareja shouldn’t be allowed to have conversaciones privadas con su amigo del sexo opuesto.
This might sound unreasonable to him, but let’s put it this way: let’s say that he has a lot of female friends, but he doesn’t let you read any of the conversations he has with him.
Who can guarantee that they’re all nothing but friends? I mean, he can tell you every girl he’s flirting with is his close friend.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll read every conversation they have. It is important that you have access to their communication, so you can find out everything you need to know whenever you feel like it.
5. No viajes juntos
Es discutible si tu pareja debe o no irse de vacaciones con sus amigos. Sin embargo, uno de los límites más importantes novio amigas es que no hay viajes juntos.
Tal vez tu novio tenía la costumbre de viajar con un muchas amigas, pero esos días ya han pasado. Sí, eso incluye los viajes en configuración del grupo también.
The only way these journeys might happen is if you all go together and if you’re okay traveling with his friends. Of course, you won’t agree to your BF’s female BFF traveling with you – I’m talking about the bunch of you traveling together.
¿Y si tienen que asistir a un acto? No hay problema, les acompañas.
What if they’ve already booked a trip before you issued this ultimatum or even before you two started dating? Tough break, but they’ll have to find a way to cancel it.
6. Límites de las redes sociales
¿Puede tu novio publicar fotos con su mejor amiga en sus redes sociales? ¿Está bien que ella lo haga?
Bueno, hay múltiples factores que hay que tener en cuenta antes de poder darle una respuesta adecuada.
First of all, does your boyfriend put photos with you on his social media profiles? Are all of his followers familiar with the fact that you’re his girlfriend?
Si la respuesta es sí, deberías dejarle publicar una historia de vez en cuando con su BFF. Se permite un post permanente cuando hay una ocasión especial.
What is crucial to note here is that he can’t have more photos with her than with you. Once again, you’re the number one woman in his life.
Pero lo que es aún más importante es que quede clara la naturaleza de su relación. Si publica una foto con ella, debe escribir un friend’s caption o un presupuesto amistad y nada más.
The same goes both ways. Don’t let her post selfies with him without any explanation – it’s natural that her followers will assume he’s her boyfriend.
7. No interferir en su relación
The biggest red flag that your BF’s friend of the opposite gender is jealous of you is the way she interferes in your relationship. You know exactly what I’m talking about: she constantly gives him “advice” that somehow never works in your favor.
She knows every little thing that happens between you two, and sometimes you wonder if you’re dating her or him. Whenever you two argue or break up, she helps him come up with comebacks and tells him how to play his cards right.
Must I even explain why this isn’t acceptable? Sí, es su amiga íntima y tiene ganas de compartir sus pensamientos y sentimientos con ella, pero ¿cómo le hace sentir este montaje?
Trust me – this is one of the most significant boyfriend female friends boundaries you’ll have to impose in time. Make it clear that your private matters shouldn’t concern anyone outside of your relationship.
8. Tiene que respetarte
Look, it would be great if you could also become friends with this girl. However, things don’t work that way always. Maybe you two have different interests or just didn’t click from the first time you met. And that’s perfectly okay.
Basically, I’m saying that she doesn’t have to like you, as long as her negative emotions don’t affect your boyfriend. However, she must respect you.
Even if she secretly hates your guts, she should keep it to herself and respect you as her friend’s girlfriend.
Lo mismo ocurre con el resto de sus amigos y familiares. Tienen que respetar su decisión.
However, it all depends on how your boyfriend behaves in these situations. If he lets them badmouth you or continues hanging out with them even after they’ve insulted you or tried humiliating you in any way, I’m sorry to break it to you, but then, he’s the one who doesn’t respect you.
Por otro lado, si te da el lugar que mereces en su vida y si te da el respeto que debería, they’ll have no other choice but follow his lead.
9. Todo está al descubierto
¿Recuerdas que hablamos de las conversaciones privadas en las amistades entre hombres y mujeres? Pues bien, esta regla se aplica a todo lo demás en su relación.
Does this mean the two of them are not allowed to have secrets? Absolutely yes – if they could affect you in any way possible.
For example, your boyfriend is not obliged to talk to you about his friend’s childhood traumas or anything similar related to her personal life. After all, let’s not forget that he is the friend she chose – you’re not. She probably wouldn’t feel comfortable having all of her secrets exposed in front of a stranger, which you are to her.
Sin embargo, si alguna vez se gustaron o, peor aún, se liaron en algún momento del pasado, esto es algo con lo que debes estar familiarizado. Allí debería’t be secrets about the nature of their friendship: how they met, how long they’ve been friends, how close they are as friends, and so on.
You have to have all this information to get a bigger picture of their relationship and figure out whether there are some red flags you should look out for and if there’s a reason for you to be celosa de ella.
10. Sin bromas internas
Is there anything more annoying than a girl trying to prove her dominance over a man, especially in front of that man’s girlfriend, by constantly mentioning inside jokes? Of course, she never cares to explain to you what they’re talking about – she enjoys that you feel left out.
In fact, this is the primary reason she uses these jokes: to show you that there is a part of his life you know nothing about, that she knows him better than you, and that they’re so incredibly close. She just tells him: “Hey, remember that time when we were on a beach…” and starts laughing hysterically.
Then, they proceed to talk in code, and you stand there, completely clueless about what’s going on. Are they talking about that time they hooked up? Or about an embarrassing hangover they wish you know nothing about?
Pues bien, para evitar estas situaciones, prohíbe los chistes internos.
11. Cambio en su comunicación
Your significant other has a lot of female friends – that’s quite clear. He’s probably used to talking to them in the middle of the night or spending hours on the phone together.
Bueno, ¡eso tiene que acabar! Quiero decir, lo último que quieres es estar durmiendo plácidamente junto a tu novio, sólo para ser despertada por su amiga’s drunk call in the middle of the night.
You understandably wouldn’t feel comfortable in this scenario.
Now that you’re in the picture, there is no more late-night texting and no more all-nighter phone calls.
If he is uncomfortable telling them this, just ask him not to pick up the phone after midnight. He can reply in the morning, and I’m sure that, after a while, they’ll understand that you’ve set boundaries.
Lo mismo ocurre con su comunicación en general. Se acabaron las palabras infantiles y los cumplidos que rozan el flirteo.
There is no need for heart emojis and stuff like that when they’re texting. Ask them both to keep their relationship as friendly as possible!
¿Está bien que un hombre con pareja tenga amigas?
No hay absolutamente nada malo en que un chico en una relación tenga amigasSiempre que sepa cómo establecer límites con ellos. A pesar de lo que diga la gente, hombres y mujeres pueden ser amigos!
Esto es especialmente cierto si estas novias estaban en su vida antes de que él comenzara su relación actual.
I mean, what should he do? Stop being friends with them every time he finds a new girlfriend and then resurface whenever he’s single again?
This wouldn’t be fair to these friends, and nobody would tolerate this kind of behavior.
Además, ninguna novia razonable puede esperar que su novio borre toda su vida ante ella sólo porque ella apareció.
Por supuesto, esto va en ambos sentidos: no hay nada malo en que las personas que mantienen relaciones tengan amigos del sexo opuesto.
¿Qué hacer cuando tu novio tiene una amiga íntima?
If you’re smart enough, you also become friends with this woman! Don’t worry, she doesn’t have to become your BFF overnight. After all, I sure hope that you have a life of your own that includes numerous close friendships you’ve built before your relationship.
Sin embargo, it would be great if you could at least be on good terms with your BF’s friend. This way, you’ll gain better insight into what’s going on between the two of them. You won’t feel like an outsider, and you’ll have more control over their relationship.
If that’s not possible, you must ask your boyfriend to set some clear boundaries. Make sure you both agree on these boyfriend female friends boundaries instead of making it look like you’re the bad guy who is suddenly imposing all these new rules.
Either way, you shouldn’t disrespect this woman. After all, she is in your BF’s life for a reason. Of course, this doesn’t apply to situations when she is the first to show you disrespect!
¿Por qué mi novio tiene amigas?
Tu novio tiene amigas por la misma razón que ha amigos varonesporque coinciden con su energía, le parecen dignas de confianza o simplemente disfruta pasando tiempo con ellas. En la mayoría de los casos, no hay una psicología más profunda oculta tras su amistades femeninas.
It’s clear that he’s found something in each one of his good friends. Maybe he likes their loyalty, the fact that he can count on them, or they make him laugh, and he enjoys being in their company.
Just because your BF doesn’t spend all of his time with his guy friends and hangs out with women as well doesn’t mean that tiene problemas con su madre o que le falta algo en vuestra relación romántica.
He’s probably been through a lot with his friends of the opposite sex, and he’s not going to ditch them just because you’re not okay with it.
How Do I Accept My Boyfriend’s Female Friends?
Lo primero y más importante, you have to stop looking at your boyfriend’s mejor amiga como competencia. If you’ve gotten to know these girls and seen that nobody crosses the line of friendship, there is nothing to be worried about.
Think of it this way: they have been friends longer than you two have been dating. That means they’ve had plenty of time to realize whether there is something more going on between them. They’ve had the chance to grow feelings for each other and to start a relationship – if they wanted to.
However, none of this ever happened. So, why do you think they would start something when you’re in the picture? It makes no sense!
Here’s some relationship advice: If you’re smart enough, you won’t be jealous of your BF’s amigos del sexo opuesto. On the contrary, you’ll turn them into your friends as well.
This way, you’ll have allies in his life – I’m sure these women will give you advice or even tell you his secrets if you play your cards right.
Para terminar:
All of these boyfriend female friends boundaries are useful and will help you maintain a healthy relationship. However, it will all be in vain if the parties involved don’t agree with them.
What’s the point of demanding all these rules be followed if your boyfriend refuses to impose them? It’s one thing that he has a amiga. Sin embargo, si he doesn’t put your relationship first and prioritizes this woman over you, you’ve got yourself a problem.
Nevertheless, even then, it’s crucial for you to remember: this woman isn’t your primary concern – your boyfriend is! He is the one who should love and respect you enough to set up clear boundaries without you having to ask him to do so!
