21 pasos cruciales para recuperar la confianza en una relación
If there is love and if both partners are willing to put in some effort, it’s possible to regain broken trust.
Sin embargo, hay que tener en cuenta que reconstruir la confianza lleva tiempo but with these efficient steps to rebuilding trust in a relationship, it won’t be difficult for sure.
I agree that all people deserve a second chance but it’s not easy to forgive someone who betrayed you, no matter how much you love that person.
En abuso de confianza en un relación romántica, a person feels hurt and they’re most definitely left with some problemas de confianza.
It’s so difficult to forgive someone and try to rebuild trust in your relationship when you just can’t stop thinking about how it will happen again one day.
You’re afraid that you’ll be betrayed again but that you won’t be able to repair that brokenness again.
And it’s perfectly normal that you feel that way because your loved one has hurt you; the person you love the most broke your heart.
Sin embargo, you’ll see that in time, you’ll find a way to forget about that and find the courage to forgive your partner once you see that they’re really sorry for what they did.
That’s when you’ll realize that you have to let go of that fear and that it’s time to move on with your significant other.
Si quieres que ese proceso sea un poco más rápido y menos doloroso, consulta estos pasos y formas saludables de reconstruir la confianza en una relación.
¿Aún quieres de verdad a tu pareja?
Pay attention to this first step because this is the most important thing you’ll need to do. You have to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself.
You have to clear out your own feelings. Your partner has made a mistake, they’ve betrayed you and it has greatly affected your relationship. But did it only affect you?
¿Afectó también a sus sentimientos hacia su pareja?
Tienes que ser sincero contigo mismo y responder a la pregunta más importante, que es, ¿sigues queriendo a tu pareja igual que la querías antes de que te hiciera daño?
Nothing is worth it if there isn’t love. So, if your answer to the previous question is negative, you should give up on your relationship.
If you have any kind of doubts and if you aren’t sure how you exactly feel, you should give yourself some time to understand your own feelings and then you should decide how to make your relationship work again.
Incluso si eres tú quien ha herido a tu pareja, deberías hacer lo mismo. Piensa en tus sentimientos. ¿Por qué cometiste un error y por qué heriste a tu pareja?
Yes, we are all human beings and yes, we all make mistakes but if you really care for someone and love that person, you wouldn’t make them suffer.
That’s why you should think about this because sooner or later, you’ll understand that you don’t love your partner the way you used to and then you’ll hurt them even more and break their heart.
Daros a los dos algo de tiempo
Before you even agree to have a serious talk about your relationship, you should give both you and your partner some time. As the old adage says, ‘time is a great healer’.
Los dos necesitáis estar solos un tiempo y pensar en vuestra situación actual. Tenéis que pensar en vuestros sentimientos, en todos los problemas que os habéis encontrado y en vuestra relación en general.
Deberías tomarte un tiempo para ti, tiempo a solas, because that’s actually what you need the most right now.
It’s good to be surrounded by friends in these difficult situations but it can also be overwhelming for you.
They’ll try to give you some advice and tell you how you should act and whether you should forgive your partner or not and that’s not what you need right now.
You need peace. That’s why you should go someplace where you’ll be absolutely alone and relax. You need that alone time to think about your relationship, so you can make the right decision by yourself.
No matter how much your friends and family members love you, they can’t give you the right advice or tell you what you should do or make that decision on behalf of you. You’re the only one who can do that.
Recuerda que todos merecemos una segunda oportunidad
Antes de tomar ninguna decisión, hay que recordar que todos somos humanos y eso nos hace débiles. Cometemos errores, pero todos y cada uno de nosotros merecemos una segunda oportunidad.
I won’t lie to you, you’ll never be able to forget that violation of trust, even if you do forgive your partner but you’ll be able to move on; together.
You’ll be able to make your relationship work after all but only if both of you are willing to make some effort.
If you forgive your partner and give them a second chance, you’ll be the bigger person. And it’s up to them how they’ll use that chance because it’s probably the last one they’ll get from you.
Al menos deberías darles la oportunidad de contarte su versión de los hechos. Deberías darles la oportunidad de decir qué les hizo cometer ese error.
Visite you really think it’s worth the fight?
You’ll have to think about your relationship.
Piensa en todos vuestros recuerdos juntos y en los momentos felices y bonitos que habéis compartido a lo largo de vuestra relación, y luego piensa en los momentos no tan buenos.
Think about your arguments and fights, all the issues you have had. Did your partner hurt you before? Did you ever lose your partner’s trust in the past and what did you do to earn it back?
¿Habéis hecho planes de futuro juntos? ¿Habéis hablado de oficializar vuestra relación?
¿De verdad quieres terminar con tu pareja sólo porque ha cometido un error?
Estas son algunas de las preguntas que deberías hacerte y decidir si tu relación merece la pena o no.
Primero tienes que pasar por el proceso de curación
Have you ever heard the saying ‘time heals everything, give time time’? Because it’s absolutely true. Don’t hurry your decision. If your partner honestly loves you, they’ll wait.
You were hurt by the person you love and you are suffering. You have to go through the healing process before you’re even ready to talk to your partner about the future of your relationship.
You need to process all your feelings and that takes time. If it’s too painful for you to be alone, you can ask your best friend to hang out and you can confide in them how you feel.
You’re allowed to cry, to call your partner and tell them how you feel but you shouldn’t insult them or call them names because one day you may regret it.
You have to work on yourself…
Don’t think about fixing your relationship now because the first thing you need to work on is yourself.
Both of you have to think about what exactly caused the broken trust in your relationship. I’m sure that there were some situations where both of you could have acted differently.
Use this time when you’re apart to think about your own mistakes.
Sé sincero al respecto y admite que ambos os habéis hecho daño de alguna manera y que ambos sois culpables de esa ruptura de la confianza en vuestra relación.
¿Qué cosas te pidió tu pareja que cambiaras de ti mismo? ¿Lo has hecho? Admite tus errores e intenta cambiarlos antes de decidir continuar con tu relación.
… then you should work on your relationship
After you’ve realized your own mistakes and worked on changing those, you can now call your partner and ask them to talk about repairing your relationship.
Admitting your wrongdoings will give you a better understanding of your partner’s mistakes too.
You need to repair the trust in your relationship and that isn’t something that can be done overnight.
First, you’ll need to identify the underlying causes of the broken trust in your relationship. Then both of you should be open to compromises.
If your partner asks you to change some things, you should accept it and try to change them. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should accept to change who you are to get your partner back.
Tienes que identificar todos los problemas y cuestiones que te han llevado a esta situación.
Needless to say, you won’t be able to overcome your trust issues or that lack of trust immediately but with the time and effort, everything will fall into place.
Identifiquen juntos sus problemas
Ambos deben estar dispuestos a trabajar en su relación y salvarla juntos. Como he dicho antes, tenéis que empezar por identificar todas las cuestiones y problemas que teníais en vuestra relación.
This is the right time to tell your partner all the things you wanted to say before but you didn’t for some reason. Get it all out of you.
Don’t keep everything to yourself because that might be the biggest reason for a lack of trust in your relationship.
Promise each other that you’ll always have time for one another and that in the future, you’ll talk about any subsequent issues before they build up.
Don’t blame others for your broken relationship
Your friends, co-workers and some family members may have advised you about your relationship but whatever happened, it’s only your or your partner’s fault.
Deberías escuchar a todo el mundo porque la mayoría de esas personas quieren que seas feliz pero sólo tú puedes controlar tu vida y sólo tú eres el único responsable de tus actos.
Si hiciste algo mal, sólo tú debes ser culpado por ello.
Lo más fácil para un traidor hacer es echar la culpa a otro. But you’re an independent person and no one can make you do something you don’t want to do.
Así que siéntate, reconoce tus errores y acepta la culpa por ellos. Deberías disculparte con tu pareja en lugar de poner excusas y culpar a otras personas.
La comunicación honesta lo es todo
La clave para resolver todos sus problemas es la comunicación. The only way you’ll overcome your issues is by identifying them and working together on their solutions. It’s the only way to a healthy relationship.
Este es el mejor consejos sobre relaciones anyone can give you. If you choose to repair the trust with the help of a family therapist, the first thing they’ll tell you is to tell one another how you honestly feel at that moment.
A falta de comunicación en una relación siempre conduce a un falta de confianza. If you don’t communicate with your partner regularly, there will always be some doubts and secrets.
Nunca debes reprimir tus sentimientos, aunque creas que pueden perjudicar a tu relación porque, tarde o temprano, esos sentimientos saldrán a la superficie y entonces surgirán los verdaderos problemas.
It’s perfectly normal that you have some disagreements and quarrels from time to time and that’s actually good for your relationship. That’s actually how you’ll strengthen the bond between you two.
Ábrase a su ser querido y comparta sus sentimientos más profundos
You must feel free to open up to your significant other in every situation. Don’t keep some things or your emotions to yourself, no matter how bad or negative they are.
Sé que a veces es difícil abrirse a tu pareja, sobre todo si tienes una relación a corto plazo, porque tienes miedo de cómo reaccionará tu pareja.
However, it’s essential if you want to overcome this crisis in your relationship.
It’s okay if you’re angry and frustrated with your partner if they made a mistake. You should let it all out. Let them know how hurt you are and how much you’re suffering because of their wrongdoings.
Tell them how you need to see that they’re ready to change and how they’re really sorry for what they did to you before you decide to forgive them.
An apology isn’t enough. Tell them that their words don’t mean anything to you anymore, without being followed by actions.
Listen actively and try to understand your partner’s feelings
However, for a better understanding, you should listen to your partner too. I’m not trying to justify their actions but maybe they have their reasons for them.
After you have given both of you some time and after you’ve thought about your relationship, you should accept to listen to them and hear what they have to say in their defense.
You didn’t deserve to be betrayed or hurt but think about your behavior toward your partner. Maybe you have neglected them for a long period or maybe you stopped expressing your love.
The only way you’ll be able to fix your problems and overcome the trust issues in your relationship is if both of you speak honestly about your feelings and the things that were bothering you in your relationship.
Once you identify where the problem is, then you’ll be able to fix it.
Reconozca sus errores y discúlpese sinceramente.
Quienquiera que haya hecho un error y traicionado y herido la otra persona tiene que ofrecer primero sus sinceras disculpas a su pareja.
No matter what you did, you have to be aware that you can’t change it now, you just can fight for your partner’s forgiveness.
Own up to your past actions. Acknowledge all of your mistakes and don’t try to make excuses for them, otherwise it’s going to make the situation even worse.
Show your partner every day that you’re honestly sorry for what you did and that you’ll do everything to gain their trust back.
Show them that it was just a stupid mistake, something you will never do again and how that shouldn’t be stronger than your love.
Demuéstrale a tu pareja que, aunque hayas cometido ese error, tus sentimientos hacia ella siguen siendo fuertes y sinceros.
Don’t allow yourself to lose the person you love because of one moment of weakness, because of that one stupid mistake.
Don’t ever repeat that mistake again and don’t ever hurt your partner again. Fight for your loved one and fight for your relationship.
Don’t say you forgive them if you still aren’t ready to do it
If you still aren’t ready for the talk, you need to tell your partner that. If you still need some time alone, you need to tell your partner that too.
Don’t allow them to pressure you into immediately making a decision. If you do make a decision without thinking thoroughly about it, you’ll most definitely make a mistake and regret it later.
Don’t say you forgive your partner just because you love them and you’re afraid that they won’t wait for you to be ready to honestly forgive them.
Even if they don’t want to wait for your forgiveness, it’s going to help you to make the right decision as that means they don’t love you and they don’t deserve your love, they don’t deserve you, nor your time.
Once you clear some things in your head and once you clear your feelings, you’ll know what the right thing to do is.
Una vez que los perdones, deja todo en el pasado.
Once you do make the decision to forgive them, you just have to leave it all in the past. You shouldn’t bring it up in your future fights because you decided to leave it in the past and move on together.
It’s not fair to say that you want to move on and then bring it out every time you have some disagreement. After you’ve forgiven them, you should close that chapter forever and move on.
If you decided to forgive your partner, that means you’ve decided to move on with your relationship. You did it because you love them and you want them in your future.
And that’s the only thing you should focus on then—your future.
Broken trust is never completely only one partner’s fault
Si desea reconstruir la confianza en su relación...deberíais ser conscientes de que ambos sois culpables de esos problemas de confianza.
Quizá uno de los miembros de la pareja hizo algo que fue la gota que colmó el vaso, pero ambos habéis contribuido a ello. Tenéis que hacer de vuestra relación una prioridad si de verdad queréis que funcione.
Cada miembro de la pareja tiene que darse cuenta de lo que hizo mal y trabajar para arreglar esas cosas y mejorar su relación.
Tenéis que prometeros que las cosas cambiarán a partir de ahora.
You have to promise that you’ll be each other’s top priority and that you’ll make time for each other even when you have the busiest schedule.
After you reconcile, you’ll need to spend some time alone together and far away from everyone else.
Not only will you have to forgive one another and work on regaining the trust in your relationship but you’ll also have to remind yourselves why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
You’ll have to fall in love with each other again. You can’t start from the beginning but you can remind yourselves how beautiful it all was when you just started dating.
Haced como si os acabarais de conocer y pasad un rato conociéndoos mejor. Planea la cita más romántica y vuelve a encender la llama de vuestra relación.
Ármate de paciencia
You’ll have to arm yourself with patience indeed because this is not going to be easy and it’ll take time for sure.
Pero if you both truly love each other, you’ll work this out and leave it all behind you like it was an awful dream.
Reconstruir la confianza en una relación es un proceso que requiere tiempo y paciencia. Tienes que ir paso a paso con cuidado y despacio porque cada paso es importante.
It’s not going to be easy because you’ll have mixed feelings and you’ll feel pressure from your partner and some other people close to you but your love will help you fight all of that.
If you’re the betrayed one, you’ll find the strength to forgive your partner and after some time, you’ll feel ready to forget all about it and move on.
If you are the betrayer, you’ll wake up every day with only one goal and that is to earn forgiveness from your partner and gain their trust back.
You’ll manage to do so in time because love is stronger than anything; true love can overcome all obstacles which get in its way.
One day, when this is all over, you’ll be thankful for this period in your relationship because this is something that will bring you closer and make the bond between you even stronger.
You’ll be proud of each other, how you handled all of this and how you fought for your relationship and didn’t allow one mistake to ruin it.
Demuéstrale a tu pareja cuánto aprecias una segunda oportunidad
Not all men are lucky enough to get a second chance from the woman they love, so if you’re the lucky one, don’t waste it or make the person who gave it you regret it.
After your partner has forgiven you and after they have given you a second chance, you shouldn’t stop showing them that you’ve changed and that you’re sorry for your wrongdoings.
Continue showing affection and proving your love every day. Don’t allow them to doubt you or your feelings ever again.
Take that second chance seriously because that’s probably the last one you’ll get. Use it to love them even more and to show them how much you appreciate it.
Don’t allow them to regret giving it to you. You deserve it because you honestly love your partner; you just have to prove it to them again.
Respalda tus palabras con hechos
If you promised your partner that you won’t message other people on your social media, you should block those people or give your partner the passwords of all your social media accounts.
If you promised your partner that from now on, they’ll be your number one priority, don’t ever ditch them because of your friends or any other reason.
Si tu pareja te ha pedido que intentes mejorar tu relación con su familia, deberías invitarles a casa o invitarles a salir juntos a algún sitio.
Whatever you’ve promised each other that you’ll change or fix, you have to stick to it and try to do it no matter what.
Of course, there might be some things that your partner has asked you to change that you can’t do because that would mean that you would be changing your entire identity.
If that happens, again, the only way to solve it is by communicating. Your partner will understand you and you’ll come to some compromise, for sure.
Don’t seek revenge
No matter how much your partner has hurt you and how awful they made you feel, you shouldn’t seek revenge or do something that will hurt them back.
Don’t think that it’ll make you feel better because it won’t. Revenge will actually make you more bitter and you’ll be even more miserable after it.
You can’t hurt the people you love on purpose and feel good about it. It would also only mean that your feelings aren’t actually sincere.
After you get revenge on your partner, it’ll be even harder for you to move on together. There will always be some resentment and some unresolved issues.
Even if you decide that you can’t move on with your relationship and forget your partner’s mistake and that the best thing for you is to end that relationship, you should forgive them.
Get professional help if you think it’s needed
If you think that none of these steps are working for you, then, of course, there is always an option to go to couple’s therapy.
Ambas partes necesitan que acepte hacerlo y deberá buscar al mejor consejero de su entorno y concertar una cita.
Couples counseling will not only help you to rebuild the trust in your relationship but it’ll also help you to have a better understanding of each other and to solve all of your problems through healthy conversations.
Un psicólogo clínico, Les Parrott, Ph.D., dijo, “If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything. There’s nothing to build on. It’s just sand that washes away,” and that’s absolutely true.
Sin confianza, no hay amor.
I really hope these steps to rebuilding trust in a relationship will have you regain the trust and save your relationship. It’s up to you whether you’ll fight for it and decide if it’s even worth the fight.
How long is it going to last? Well, that’s surely a question neither I nor anyone else can give you the right answer to.
All I can tell you is that rebuilding trust isn’t something that can happen overnight.
Lleva tiempo porque una persona necesita recuperar la confianza de otra y la otra necesita sentirse segura para volver a confiar en ella.
Así que, como puedes ver, hay dos procesos que tienen que ocurrir y ambos son complicados y necesitan tiempo.
Time is your biggest ally too. With time, you’ll be able to see if your partner regrets their mistake and if they are really trying to gain back your trust.
El tiempo le dirá si su amor es sincero y si su relación es lo suficientemente fuerte como para superar estos obstáculos.
