15 reglas clave para un romance moderno

I know what you’d like me to say right now. When it comes to the rules of dating, there’s only one rule: No hay reglas.

If only it were that simple, right? Don’t worry, though. What I’ve got here for you is just as cool, I promise.

Los tiempos han cambiado (menos mal), y las reglas de las citas se han actualizado en consecuencia. Lo que antes se consideraba la norma ahora está anticuado. consejos sobre citas que no te sirve de nada.

We’re going to stay as far away from that as possible.

Today, we’ll focus on making your first date a success and help you say goodbye to online dating once and for all (which means deleting all those tiresome dating apps ASAP).

I know I don’t have to tell you how complicated modern-day dating can be. Connecting with someone and creating an relación exclusiva sin moverse de su expectativas saludables puede ser un reto.

Also, once you finally meet the one, I can’t stress enough how important it is to mantén tu relación fuera de las redes sociales.

Hay tantas maneras de que pueda ser contraproducente. We live in a social-media-crazed world right now, so isn’t preserving your privacy more important than ever?

Para mí, un relación sana means keeping your dating life to yourself. That way, you can create a serious relationship that’s no one’s business but your own.

The rules of dating that I’m about to discuss are a stepping stone to getting just that.

Su objetivo es ayudar a las personas a ponerse a sí mismas en primer lugar y explorar citas modernas before they’re ready to leave the dating scene and enjoy their relationship to the fullest.

I’m no dating coach, but having been through one too many hook-ups (plagued by so many red flags), I feel comfortable sharing some handy dating rules.

Nunca vivas un infierno primera cita de nuevo siguiendo estas sencillas reglas del romance moderno.

Véase también: Here’s What To Talk About On A First Date (& 7 Topics To Avoid)

Reglas tácitas de las citas que debe seguir

¿Eres nuevo en el mundo de las citas? ¿Harto de buscar pareja en Tinder y Bumble?

¡No se preocupe más! Sigue estos revolucionarios consejos y haz que tu próxima cita sea MUCHO más relajante.

Sal con tanta gente como quieras (y desahógate)

Play the field before emotionally investing in someone for the rest of your life. Dating is a journey, not a destination (that part comes after you’ve circled the dating scene first).

So, what’s my point? Date as many people as you want. Date MULTIPLE people at the same time if that’s what you want, just be sure not to drag anyone along and tell them if you’re not interested.

Don’t deny yourself any type of pleasure. Dating is fun; it’s not a chore. My rules of dating are all about liberating yourself from what people might think and doing what feels right for you.

Date men, women, or whoever you want. Do stuff you normally wouldn’t, and don’t be afraid of taking a risk.

Get it all out of your system before you’re ready for the next stage. And guess what? You’re the only judge of when that is!

Limpia tu armario emocional antes de buscar una conexión

Once you decide you’re ready for the pursuit of ‘the one,’ be sure to leave all your emotional baggage at the door.

Para tener una relación feliz y sana, necesitas liberarte de todo lo que tus relaciones pasadas te hayan causado. Todas las inseguridades, el dolor y las dudas que te dejó tu ex, enfréntalas de frente.

Whatever you do, don’t get into a new relationship (especially a long-distance one) without resolving your past issues.

Sooner or later, they’re going to catch up with you and implode. Trust me. I was on the receiving end of it once. It’s not pretty.

Hágase un favor a sí mismo (y a su posible pareja) y resuelva lo que tenga que resolver antes de iniciar un nuevo romance.

Las citas modernas pueden ser muy divertidas, pero sólo si haces borrón y cuenta nueva antes de empezar de nuevo.

If you’re into someone, don’t be afraid to make the first move

I can tell you this with absolute certainty. You’ll never regret making the first move. Not even if you get rejected now and again.

¿Por qué? Porque te da el valor que tanto necesitas.

You’ll start feeling more capable than ever, and the fear you may have felt before will wither away. Lo que antes parecía imposible será ahora lo más normal del mundo.

Sure, it won’t always result in a date, but that’s just the reality of the dating world. We ALL deal with this, so it’s silly to let it discourage you.

Your next date could only be a phone call away. If you have their digits, call them up. You’ve got nothing to lose and so much to gain. What’s the harm?

Véase también: Las 10 reglas de las citas informales que debes seguir

Sea siempre sincero con sus expectativas

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through online dating and random hook-ups, it’s this: Never go into it with false pretenses. It always finds a way to bite you in the ass.

Sure, some people won’t be on the same page as you, but that’s kind of the whole point. To weed out the no-goers and see who’s on your wavelength.

No todo el mundo quiere lo mismo de una cita. A algunos les gustan las aventuras superficiales (lo cual está muy bien), otros quieren encontrar pareja RÁPIDAMENTE y otros quieren un romance duradero que llegue hasta el final.

It’s always a good idea to be upfront about these things. Otherwise, you might fall head over heels only to soon find out they’re not looking for anything serious.

Don’t be afraid to speak about what you expect. People have the right to know, and you’re less likely to be left heartbroken.

Go for someone who isn’t your ‘type’ and see what you’re missing out on

Don’t wait for Cupid and his matchmaking skills to toss the perfect person into your orbit. This is real life, not a movie.

Dating apps have taught me one thing. Guys I’d normally give a hard NO to, ended up being quite interesting choices. So don’t necessarily stick to what you know. See what else is out there!

You’d be surprised how many intriguing people are out there who you’d never consider giving a chance to.

Let this be a new journey. Let it take you where you’d never normally go. Forget about your type and go for anyone who might seem like they have something to offer (intellectually, emotionally, but also physically).

Life starts outside of your comfort zone. I think it’s high time to start exploring it.

DON’T discuss past relationships early on

This is a major red flag, but I’m sure you’re already aware of that. Either way, it never hurts to double-check.

Guarda los ex expedientes en el cajón que les corresponde. A nadie le gusta escuchar a su cita divagar sobre sus ex tóxico.

While your pain might be legitimate, wait for a reasonable amount of time to pass before bringing it up. If this person is worth the bother, there’ll be a time and place to discuss these matters.

Hasta entonces, manténgalo en un nivel más informal y vaya descubriendo poco a poco más cosas sobre ellos.

Si te fallan habitualmente, pierde su número.

Believe anyone who keeps proving to you that they’re not worth your time.

Surgen cosas y los planes se posponen. Son cosas que pasan. Pero si esa persona parece fallarte más de lo que cumple, pierde su número.

They don’t care much about you and your time. Don’t give them the chance to keep playing you for a fool. You’ve got better things to do.

Véase también: Preguntas para la primera cita: Más de 210 preguntas para tener éxito en la primera cita

It’s about how they pursue you, NOT how quickly they pursue you

Here’s something worth knowing: It’s not about how quickly they respond, but HOW they go about it.

If they make you wait a whole week before they hit you up with a follow-up text, and it ends up being just “Heyyyyy,” they’re not worth it.

Sin embargo, si tardan lo mismo pero ofrecen una explicación razonable (y no descabellada) de por qué han tardado tanto, dales una oportunidad.

La gente está ocupada y a veces pasa una semana sin más. Si parece que les interesa volver a verte, ¡probablemente sea así!

Cualquiera puede escribir un texto de una sílaba con una semana de retraso. Pero un mensaje legítimo diciendo que quieres volver a verte significa mucho, no importa cuántos días hayan tardado en enviarlo.

Véase también: 17 ideas creativas para una tercera cita memorable

Don’t put out on the first date (wait until you know their intentions first)

Espere un poco antes de invitarles a Netflix y a relajarse.

If you’re into a serious relationship and all they want is to get some, it might not be the best idea to put out immediately, as it’ll leave you hurt.

However, if you’re looking for a fun fling, by all means, do whatever the heck you like!

Just make sure not to do anything rash that might end up biting you in the ass. It’s smart to know their intentions before taking it too far. At least in my experience.

Trate las citas como una experiencia divertida, no como un proceso de interrogatorio

I’ve already said this, but I’ll say it again. Dating should be fun. Sure, these rules of dating might make it seem not so, but don’t be fooled. These are here to make the process MORE enjoyable.

I’m not telling you to go on a date with a list of questions and follow them blindly. Tiene que haber algo de espontaneidad.

It’s great if you want to be prepared, but don’t let it overtake the majority of your date.

Have fun, ask follow-up questions, and see where the conversation organically goes. IF it doesn’t seem to go anywhere, resort to your prepared dating questions and see if they help it move along.

Véase también: 16 cosas que debes saber antes de salir con un viudo

Mantén el teléfono en el bolsillo durante la cita

I can’t stress this enough: Don’t keep your phone on the table for the duration of your date. It’s rude, and it’ll make your date feel that they’re not important enough.

Keep it on vibrate and put it in your purse or pocket. You want to pay attention to your date and what they’re saying.

That’s hard to do if your phone is on the table and it keeps going off. Manners never go out of style, and people appreciate these little gestures.

If the date doesn’t go well, you’re free to get up and leave after giving it a solid chance. But before you do that, make sure you were present and invested in the conversation.

Always be authentic (don’t put on a front)

As cliché as it sounds, always be yourself. That way, your date knows exactly what they’re getting themselves into!

Bromas aparte, you don’t want to build a romance under false pretenses. Putting on a front and constantly pretending to be someone you’re not won’t do any good.

Not to mention how tiresome it gets. Isn’t it just easier to be unapologetically yourself and let your date get to know the real you?

No one is perfect, and no one expects you to be. Just be who you are because that’s all anyone could hope for. Also, I’m saying this from personal experience, aléjate de las personas casadas.

Las reglas de las citas un hombre casado (or woman) are a whole other story. Like all modern-day, kickass individuals know, barking up a married person’s tree seldom brings good news.

Been there, done that, DON’T recommend it. So, just stick to the singles, and give it an actual shot.

Don’t stress about meeting the perfect person right off the bat

It takes time and lots of practice. It’s highly doubtful that you’ll meet your perfect person on your next date.

If you’ve carefully read these dating rules, then you probably understand why that is. You can’t build a lasting connection right off the bet. These things take time to build.

Enjoy those first dates and try to make each one of them count. They might not end up what you wanted, but they’ll give you a great chance to see what you’d like in a person.

When you least expect it, you’ll meet someone who’ll finally seem like the real deal. They’ll check all the boxes, and the vibe will be on a whole new level.

So, don’t stress about how long it takes. Enjoy the process, knowing that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

DON’T stalk them on social media

Why? It takes the mystery out of the equation! It’s so much more gratifying getting to know them as you go along.

If you’ve already done your research and know everything there is to know about their family tree, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Give THEM a chance to tell you their story.

You probably already have preconceived notions that aren’t allowing you to give them a real chance.

There’s more to people than what their social media accounts say. There’s more to people than what people tell you.

If you want this to work, you need to hear everything from them. You wouldn’t want them to judge you based on something they’ve stumbled upon online, right?

Las citas sólo son divertidas si las vas conociendo poco a poco, permitiendo elementos sorpresa. Se trata de una experiencia, no de un proyecto.

Ve a tu ritmo y resiste la tentación de tener una carpeta entera sobre ellos. Eso le quita toda la gracia al asunto.

Véase también: Averigüe si debe publicar a su ex en las redes sociales y MUCHO más

Confíe en su instinto

Last but not least, ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. It’s there for a reason.

It doesn’t matter how awesome this person appears on paper. If your gut is telling you something’s off, believe it.

Sometimes, it’s hard to explain these things. You meet a person, and they seem to check off everything from your ‘list.’ They should be a good fit, right?

But something just doesn’t feel right. There’s no vibe, or better say, you don’t feel that ‘click,’ but since they fit your criteria so well, you keep giving them chances. DON’T.

If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. They might be a perfectly nice person, but just not perfect for usted! And that’s okay.

Wait for someone who’ll want to show you off. Someone who won’t be able to keep their hands off you. Someone who’ll gush about you to their friends without holding back.

When you meet someone like that, you’ll see why it never worked out with anyone before.

Life’s too short for a half-assed romance. Either they’re all in, or they’re out the door (there’s NO in between).

Véase también: 21 señales de una buena primera cita y cómo acertar en la segunda

Put Yourself Out There – No Risk, No Fun!

It’s very simple, really. The rules of dating are here to help you have the most enjoyable experience possible.

When you think about it, they’re kind of common sense. ¿Por qué? Porque el objetivo final es anteponerse a uno mismo y sacar el máximo partido a la experiencia de las citas.

Why not date multiple people before you’re ready to settle? Why not go for someone you wouldn’t normally look at twice?

That’s the whole beauty of it. Take those tiny risks and see what you’re missing out on. If you don’t, you’ll never know the fun you might’ve had.

What I want you to take from this article is that it’s all about you. If you’re not feeling it, leave.

If you can’t be yourself around them, stop perdiendo el tiempo. And if you’re into someone, make the first move!  It’s 2020, for Goodness’ sake. If not now, when?

Véase también: Cita en la playa: 10 cosas que debes saber para una salida divertida y satisfactoria