17 cosas que debes tener en cuenta al salir con un chico con hijos
If you’re salir con un chico con hijosBienvenido al club. Trust me, I completely understand everything you’re going through right now. I perfectly understand all your thoughts and emotions. I had the same ride on the same rollercoaster you’re riding right now.
Conocí a este chico increíble hace dos años y toda mi vida ha cambiado. Él era un hombre divorciadopadre devoto de sus hijas gemelas, y cuando empezamos a salir me pregunté si realmente era una buena decisión entablar una relación así.
Now, I can proudly say that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
The truth is, it wasn’t always all sunshine and roses, and it still isn’t, but life itself isn’t perfect. He makes me feel loved, respected, and appreciated. He makes me the happiest woman in the world, and that’s perfectly enough for me.
¿Qué debo saber para salir con un chico con hijos? 17 cosas importantes
Sin embargo, estaría bien que alguien me hubiera dicho algunas cosas sobre salir con un chico con hijos… If only someone had told me these things I’m about to share with you.
1. You’ll need to have a real talk with yourself
Antes de empezar una relación de este tipo, tienes que sentarte y enfrentarte a todos los hechos sobre salir con un chico con hijos. No one should judge you… if you feel you aren’t ready to take that responsibility, then don’t do it.
End it before one of you falls in love. If you give up afterward, there is a good chance that you won’t just be breaking his heart. Esos niños ya pasaron por suficientes transiciones… they shouldn’t get hurt once again.
2. You’ll need to get used to family life
Te guste o no, este tipo viene con todo el paquete. Puede ser un cosa difícil for you to accept, but you’ll need to do it si quieres que tu relación funcione en el carrera larga.
3. He’ll always take things slowly
He’ll always put his kids in primer puesto en su lista de prioridades. It’s common sense that their well-being is and always will be the most important thing for him. That’s why he’ll never rush things.
He’ll want to conocerte a fondo antes de que decida llevar vuestra relación al siguiente nivel. He won’t even introduce you to his kids until he feels that all sides are ready for it.
4. Pero, las conversaciones difíciles sobre el futuro estarán presentes desde el principio
Pues bien, ese tipo de conversaciones son IMPRESCINDIBLES y debes prepararte para ellas. He’ll want to know your plans for the future and whether they match his or not.
Simply, he’ll want to know whether you’re compatible or not. La famosa terapeuta matrimonial y familiar, Rebecca Hendrix, está totalmente de acuerdo con esto, y también afirma que es necesario comprobar si vuestras personalidades y estilos de vida coinciden antes de oficializar las cosas.
5. You’ll need to be equipped with understanding
Paciencia y comprensión. Those are the things you’ll need the most if you’re planning to stay in this kind of relationship for the long run.
6. He’ll need help with balancing his dating and family life
You are probably asking how you can help him with it. It’s actually pretty easy. Una vez más, sólo mostrar comprensión y ten paciencia.
If he cancels you at the last moment because something has come up with the kids, don’t make a scene out of it, but ask him if you can help him in any way. Ese es el tipo de mujer que este tipo necesita y que acogerá en su vida.
7. El listón de las expectativas debe mantenerse realista
You shouldn’t set some high expectativassobre todo al principio de la relación.
Of course, he’ll try to make you happy and all that, but he’ll simply be torn apart between you and the kids all the time, and one side (you, most surely) will have to suffer more than the other.
8. There isn’t a fijar plazos para la gran introducción.
The fact is, there are no ground rules when it comes to the time when he’s supposed to meet you with his kids. So, don’t pressure him.
Puede tardar un mucho tiempo antes de que decida dar ese paso, pero mientras tanto, lo que deberías hacer es trabajar en reforzar su vínculo. Get to know each other… get to know something about the kids, too, so you can also win them over when the time comes.
9. Puede que los niños no te acepten al principio
If his kids accept you as soon as they meet you, it’s a great thing. However, there is a possibility that they won’t have a good reaction. I’m a hijo del divorcio y, créeme, estas cosas nunca son fáciles de entender ni de aceptar.
Sin embargo, debe intentar establecer una buena relación con ellos, and hope that over time, they’ll welcome you into their circle.
10. Establecer una relación positiva con su ex mujer
También debe saber que su ex-mujer puede afectar a la relación entre vosotros dos, especialmente si los dos tuvieron un mal tipo de divorcio o si ella todavía siente algo por él.
En las mejores citas advice you’ll get regarding this is that you should try to build a healthy relationship with her. She doesn’t and almost surely won’t become your best friend, but you should at least try to be on good terms with her.
11. You’ll be surrounded with much love
Surely, you shouldn’t expect that the kids will immediately welcome you with wide-open brazos, but once they do, you’ll feel wrapped in love. Ese tipo de sentimiento es realmente imposible de describir.
12. You’ll even meet a new dimension of love
This whole dating a man with kids thing will enable you to meet a whole new type of love. It’s nothing similar to those types of love you’ve met before, and you’ll only get to experience it again once you become a mother.
Alerta de spoiler; este lado del amor te hará comprender el verdadero valor del amor.
13. He’ll be spending much time with his kids
This is an obvious point, and it’s perfectly normal. He won’t want his kids to be affected by the divorce, and he’ll try his best to be there for them as much as possible.
14. Por lo tanto, su tiempo de calidad será limitado
It’s so wonderful to see those father figures and their sacrifices for their kids, but it’s also difficult to deal with it once it starts affecting your relationship.
You won’t be able to spend time with him whenever you want, and that’s without a doubt the most difficult part of dating a man with kids.
15. Puede que no podáis pasar las vacaciones juntos
Esta es una de esas partes no tan glamurosas de salir con un chico con hijos. Rara vez se tiene la oportunidad de pasar juntos los días festivos y las vacaciones.
However, once your relationship becomes more serious, I’m sure this will change, too. Una vez más, la paciencia y la comprensión son tus mejores amigos cuando salgas con este tipo de chico.
16. It’ll be hard… harder than you think
I knew that it would be hard to date a guy with kids. He has serious responsibilities… his little family, two little people that are depending on him… I had it all in my mind. Sin embargo, sinceramente hablando, nunca pensé que fuera a ser tan difícil.
As much as you think it’s hard, trust me, it’ll be even harder. There will be many times you’ll want to quit and end it all. However, si lo amas de verdad, you’ll endure it all and stick by his side no matter what.
17. A pesar de todos los retos, puede ser la experiencia más gratificante de tu vida
En mi opinión personal, all those sacrifices, disappointments, compromises… all of those things pay off in the end. I’m the best example of that.
Now, I’m una madrastra to two wonderful stepkids whom I love the most. I enjoy helping with the school drop-offs and going to school plays, and I’m the happiest person on the planet when I’m setting the dinner table for four people.
He’s my mejor amigo and the person I want to build… actually expand our family with. Y tú también puedes estar en mi lugar, sólo si eres paciente y te mantienes fuerte. fe en el amor.
Véase también: ¿Por qué las citas son tan difíciles para los chicos? 15 razones reveladoras
Ventajas de salir con un chico con hijos
As I’m dating a guy with a kid, I think I have the right to claim that being in such a relationship has many advantages.
Of course, it’s much harder than dating a single guy without this kind of responsibility, but there are definitely some great sides to dating a guy with a kid.
Besides these advantages you’ll see below, I really have to emphasize that dating a guy with a kid changed me… it changed my life in so many ways.
Today, I’m proud to say that it made me become a completely nueva persona… a much better person in every possible sense of that word.
? Tendrás el paquete completo
? He’ll provide the stability you long for
? You’ll have plenty of tiempo a solas
? It’ll make you more mature
? Sin juegos mentales ni juegos de cualquier tipo
?Noches de cita may be poor in quantity, but they definitely won’t lack quality
? Serás el (padrastro o madrastra) guay
Desventajas de salir con un chico con un hijo
I don’t and I’ll never regret indulging in a relationship with a guy who has a kid. It’s by far the best, most amazing relationship I have ever had, and I wouldn’t change any part of it.
However, there were many difficult moments, especially at the beginning. We’ve faced many challenges every un solo díatenía muchos conversaciones difíciles, y nunca tuvimos el apoyo que necesitábamos de nuestros seres queridos.
A continuación enumero algunas cosas más que considero como contras de salir con un chico con hijos. Sé que estas cosas te parecen un gran problema en este momento porque una vez fui tú y me sentí de la misma manera.
However, we used these to strengthen our relationship; we didn’t allow them to tear us apart. Look at us today… we have la relación más sana y el más asombroso pequeña familia.
? You’ll never be his top priority
? Pasar el tiempo juntos serán limitados
? Tienes que ganarte tanto a él como a sus hijos
? Su ex mujer también está en la foto
? Hay que tener cuidado con PDA-ing
? No hay escapadas de última hora
? You’re dealing with un tipo con carga emocional
? Puede estar evitando la intimidad
¿Cómo afrontar una cita con un hombre con hijos?
En primer lugar, tienes que ser consciente de toda la situación. Tienes que aceptar que no se trata de una relación ordinaria, y que un gran parte de tu vida cambiará.
You’ll need to arm yourself with understanding and patience. Things won’t always go as you plan, so you also need to be prepared to make compromisos.
It’s okay to fight for the man you love and maintain your relationship, but please don’t let it make you neglect the relationship with yourself.
Don’t perderte por tu relación porque por mucho que le quieras, nadie merece ese tipo de sacrificio.
Si en algún momento te sientes abrumada por todo, habla con tu chico y buscar ayuda de asesores y expertos en relaciones sentimentales.
¿Es difícil salir con alguien que tiene un hijo?
I’m not happy to admit it, but the truth is that it’s hard to salir con alguien que tenga hijos. It’s truly a big deal. And, the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to face many challenges that come with that type of relationship.
Sin embargo, hay cosas por las que merece la pena luchar, y el amor es una de ellas.
Si you aren’t a kid person or you don’t feel ready to take the title of being a step-parent, it’ll especially be tough for you then. That’s why you need to have a serious conversation with yourself before you decide to indulge in such a relationship.
If you think that you aren’t ready to face everything that comes with that relationship, don’t even start it because someone will most definitely get hurt eventually.
¿Es malo salir con un chico que tiene un hijo?
It’s hard, but I could never say that it’s bad or not worth it. There are many advantages of dating a guy with kids, especially if you’re aiming for a serious and committed relationship.
Por supuesto, habrá mucha presión, pero si vuestro amor es lo bastante fuerte, podréis soportar todos los obstáculos y conseguir la relación más maravillosa.
Sólo hay que esforzarse mutuamente para que las cosas funcionen y tener un poco de paciencia.
A relationship with a man who has kids will definitely be completely different from all of your past relationships, but who knows? It may also be your most beautiful one… it may also be your ‘happily ever after’.
Para terminar
Salir con un chico con hijos isn’t just being in a romantic relationship with someone; it’s also a huge responsibility. Conlleva muchas cosas maravillosas y no tan maravillosas.
There will be many obstacles, and many bridges that you’ll need to cross together. The good news is that when it comes to amor verdaderoNada es imposible y todo merece la pena.
If you truly love him and feel that the love is being reciprocated, you need to accept him and everything that comes with him. And, I promise… one day, you’ll look back at everything you went through to be together and then you’ll know it was all worth it.
