Looking on from the outside, leaving a toxic relationship should be a piece of cake. After all, everything seems to be pretty clear.
You’re unhappy being with your partner, it’s apparent that your romance isn’t going anywhere, and you are anything but compatible.
So, what is keeping you from leaving, when things seem to be so obvious?
Well, the point is that you’re probably using all kinds of excuses to stay in this toxic relationship.
It’s easier for you to hold on to these thoughts than to step out of your comfort zone and actually make a difference.
“He will become the man I need”
The number one reason women remain in bad relationships is a hope that has no logical background.
Even though there’s absolutely no sign that your boyfriend might change, for some reason you really do believe that this will happen.
You expect him to magically wake up one morning and realize that he should stop hurting you.
You think that your love will eventually make him change his ways and that your romance will change for the better.
Well, I hate to burst your bubble but people don’t change unless they have a desire to do it themselves.
Basically, you’re waiting for a miracle that is unlikely to happen.
“I will regret my decision”
What if you start to miss this man after you’ve found the courage to leave him? What if you regret your decision the moment you make it?
What if you realize that you should have stayed with him, after all?
What if he turns out to be the love of your life and you never manage to get over him?
These and similar questions run through your head every time you think about breaking up.
Let me tell you something – this is exactly what your toxic boyfriend wants you to think.
He is the one who installed these doubts in your brain.
The one who is deliberately playing with you and manipulating you into thinking that you can’t make it without him.
Trust me on this one: if you do leave him, it will be the best choice you’ve ever made and you won’t regret it for a second.
“He is just emotionally broken”
Let’s get one thing straight: your boyfriend doesn’t treat you the way he does because he is emotionally unavailable and broken.
He is not hurting you because he doesn’t know any better.
He is not breaking your heart without being aware of it.
He is not giving you crumbs of his love and attention because he is incapable of loving.
In fact, he is doing all of the above simply because he can. Simply put, he is an asshole.
With this in mind, I’m sure you’ll agree that he doesn’t deserve your sympathy, so it’s about time you stopped giving it to him.
You keep finding excuses for his behavior and trying to dig deeper under his cold exterior. No, you won’t find a vulnerable heart who loves you there.
You’ll find nothing. There is no other part of his personality – he is just like that and this needs to stop being the reason why you stay with him.
Settling for less vs. dying alone
For you, there are only two options in life. You can either leave this guy and die alone or keep on settling for less than you deserve.
So, you assume that it’s better to be with someone than to face loneliness.
This man has convinced you that you’re not meant to be loved and without him, you’ll be forever single.
First and foremost, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
In fact, I promise you that you’ll find a man who deserves you if you pluck up the courage to leave this one behind.
However, even if you end up single, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You don’t need a man to be happy and I’m sure you’ll rock your solitude.
“I will be his hero”
Another one of the common misconceptions many women have when it comes to remaining in a toxic relationship is their belief that their man needs them.
Let’s be honest: you would probably walk away from your boyfriend but you feel responsible for him.
You think that you’re the only one who can save him. The only one who can drag him out of his darkness and show him the light.
Hear me out on this one: it’s not your duty to fix broken men. It’s not your responsibility to sort his life out, help him grow up, or fight his demons.
Stop putting his happiness before your own. Most importantly: stop putting this doomed relationship before your peace.