It’s bad enough to be cheated on but to be portrayed as a villain and accused as the reason for their cheating is a whole other level of bad. And the worst part is that most of us know how it feels to be blamed for someone’s cheating, how it feels to feel guilty for it. Confronting a cheater is bad as it is but when you’re planning on doing it, you need to get ready for his victim card playing as well. Don’t let him convince you that you are the one to blame, don’t let him guilt-trip you into apologizing. Follow these steps when confronting him and get him out of your life as quickly as possible.
1. Sadness doesn’t justify cheating—make sure he hears it loud and clear
No matter how rough the patches you hit are, cheating is never the answer. If there is a problem, solve it together. If there is something missing, find it together. Going behind your back to find whatever it is that he is missing is the worst kind of betrayal. Sure, it’s easier to go around fucking others and blaming it on your relationship but if you truly want your relationship to make it, you stay and you fight. We don’t give up on people easily but sometimes they’re just not worth the fight.
2. Tell him how it feels
Don’t be afraid of sharing your emotions; tell him all about it. He went on a cheating spree because he was down? Then let him know how you feel now. Let him know how it feels to be broken by the one person who’s supposed to hold you together. Tell him how it feels when the only person who could stop you from crying is the person who made you cry.
3. When you were down, you still remained faithful
Everyone has rough days, everyone has days when they don’t think they can make it out of bed. But it still doesn’t mean that you cheat on him because that’s not what love is about. Since when is it okay to cheat just because you’re missing something in your relationship? It’s not. Nor will it ever be. Make sure he knows that. Make sure he remembers it well because you are together in that relationship. If he was lacking something, you were lacking it too, yet you still remained faithful.
4. Make him wonder about the reverse situation
There is a possibility that he actually feels like a victim, so ask him how he would feel if you cheated on him. He won’t be feeling like a victim much longer, trust me. Because, no matter the problem, if you want to work through it, you can. Cheating is straight up murdering the relationship.
5. Use evidence if you have it
If you have any evidence of him cheating, use it. If you have a picture of him enjoying the company of another woman, use it against him. The happy-looking man on the photo sure as hell doesn’t look like a victim. I know, it hurts seeing someone you love with someone else but him playing the victim card on you is even more painful.
6. Don’t listen to him
Is there anything really that he can say to make up for what he has done? Is there anything that can mend your broken heart and trust? He can only hurt you more and make you feel worse about him cheating. Darling, nothing will stop him from pursuing you if he truly wants to. Just because he is incapable of loving and committing to you, doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being loved. If you already made up your mind about walking away, don’t waste another second on him. He’s not worth it anyway.