Basically speaking, obsessive-compulsive disorder is the state in which you have unwanted thoughts you can’t control or chase away, as much you try.
It is a type of anxiety disorder that makes you feel like you’re not in charge of your brain and which makes your life much harder than it should be.
Well, relationship OCD happens when all of these intrusive thoughts are only related to your romantic relationship which you become obsessed with.
And the thing is that many people suffer from it, without even being aware of it.
Here are the signs that you’re one of them as well.
1. You question your relationship all the time
The first sign that you’re dealing with relationship OCD is the fact that you keep on questioning your relationship.
Is this the real deal? Is he the one?
Are you two really meant to be together?
Should have you even started this romance in the first place?
These are all the questions running through your head.
Not only that—they are burdening you to a level where you can’t even function properly and most importantly, where you can’t enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend the way you should.
Instead of being concerned with the present moment, you’re obsessing about the past and the future.
You dissect everything that went on between you two in the past, including the things that you allegedly managed to overcome.
It’s not that you hold grudges or that you’re directly resentful toward your partner—you just replay all the situations back and forth in your head, as if you’ll magically get a different outcome.
Yes, it is completely natural that you want to know where your relationship is going but the difference between you and other people is that you have an uncontrollable urge to know every detail beforehand and that you need to be one hundred percent positive about the outcome, which is, of course, impossible.
2. You seek reassurance from others
However, your anxiety doesn’t end there.
You don’t only have these internal monologues regarding your relationship; you also use every possible opportunity to talk it through with everyone around you.
It’s like your only subject of conversation with your loved ones has become your romance and you can’t get yourself to talk about anything else besides that.
In fact, you go around asking your closest friends, family and even co-workers and acquaintances about their opinion regarding your relationship.
It is more than obvious that you’re actually looking for reassurance; you want them to confirm that things are exactly how they should be and that there is nothing to worry about, as if they know what’s going on with you and your boyfriend in detail.
I’m sure that all of these people love you from the bottom of their heart but if you continue doing this, you won’t lose only your partner—you’ll chase them away too.
Nobody likes being the third wheel to someone else’s relationship, nor can they make some important decisions regarding your life.
Whether you want to hear this or not, the truth is that you’re boring and overwhelming them.
I’m sure that they’ve told you nothing is wrong like a million times and the last thing they want to do is repeat themselves once more.
Besides, what can they tell you in the first place?
Yes, you can take advice from the people whose opinions you appreciate but that doesn’t mean that they can rule your relationship.
3. You spend too much time monitoring your feelings
Another dangerous red flag that you suffer from relationship OCD is connected to your emotions.
You can spend years next to one man but you still won’t be sure whether you love him for real.
Is this true love that you’re feeling or is it actually some kind of obsession?
Are you in love with him, do you really love him? Is this how a woman in love should even feel?
How would you feel if you happened to lose this guy? Would you be heartbroken or would your life go on, as if nothing happened?
Would you be hurt because your ego is damaged or would you miss him for real?
Is he just a habit? Has this relationship become nothing more than your comfort zone?
Are you with him because you want to be there or are you just afraid of being single?
You see, asking yourself these questions is nothing unusual when you’re just starting a new relationship.
After all, you want to know where you stand with yourself and you try to examine the depth of your feelings.
However, with you, it is different because these doubts never seem to go away.
No matter how long you have been this man’s girlfriend, you keep on having these thoughts.
Not only that—you also compare the feelings you have now with the ones you had yesterday, last month, last year or at the beginning of your relationship.
You wonder if anything has changed, whether you’re starting to fall out of love with him or you love him more than before.
Actually, this is especially the case in long-term relationships.
Your butterflies are probably long gone and maybe you two have gotten into a rut so you can’t help but wonder if this is how things should be.
Are you entering a new phase of your relationship or areyour emotions fading away?
4. You compare your relationship with other couples
When you suffer from relationship OCD, you have a habit of comparing things.
You compare your feelings but you also compare your romance with other people’s relationships.
You keep asking yourself if someone else is happier than you, whether they’re more in love and if they made greater progress than you two.
Not only that—you also compare your current boyfriend with every other man in your life.
It’s not that you would do something about it or actually cheat on him, even if you realized that someone else is better than him in some way;you just have these obsessive thoughts you can’t control, as much as you try.
It is enough for you to see a hot guy passing you by and the never-ending circle begins.
You start to wonder whether this dude is more handsome than your man, if he is smarter, more interesting, has a better sense of humor or if he would treat you better and make you happier.
This is especially the case with your exes and your previous relationships.
It’s like you try to put the emotions you have for your current boyfriend and the feelings you had for your exes on a scale.
Who did you love more? Were you wrong for ending things with someone from your past and entering this relationship in the first place?
Is there someone else out there more suited to you?
5. You’re not happy in your relationship
Having all these things on your mind, there is absolutely no way for you to be happy.
The truth is that your OCD manages to ruin every beautiful moment of your relationship because it simply doesn’t let you enjoy yourself.
Instead of having a sensation of fulfillment every time your partner hugs or kisses you, you disregard the reality completely and start asking yourself all these questions.
You use this opportunity to monitor your feelings and his behavior and the moment passes before you know it.
The same goes for your bedroom activities.
You’re never completely pleased because you can’t shut your mind off and relax the way you should.
Don’t get me wrong—it is great that you don’t follow your heart blindly and that you think things through before acting on them.
However, if you really do have relationship OCD, it will prevent you from being happy and from reaching your relationship’s full potential, which is a real shame.
Therefore, please ask for help and start working on controlling and eventually chasing away these obsessive thoughts because it is unlikely for them to disappear just like that.
Have faith that you’ll succeed and once you do, you’ll see it’s way easier to live OCD-free.