How to get a girl to like you? There doesn’t exist a man out there who never asked himself this question and who didn’t struggle to find an answer to it.
Every woman is different—there is no doubt about that.
However, you can’t help but wonder if there exists a proven recipe that works like a charm with just about every woman you approach, despite her age, appearance, education or interests.
Well, the good news is that there does.
If you’re wondering how to get a girl to like you, here is a general guide book that you modify depending on the type of girl you want to win over but which is effective with most of the females you encounter.
And the best part is that you’re about to read it. Here is some practical advice, starting with how you should look and behave and finally, on what you say to a girl to make her like you.
1. Take care of your looks
The first question that probably goes through your mind is how to get a girl to notice you, before getting her to like you.
You have to make yourself visible and get a chance to win her over before anything else.
Well, despite what some might think, women are not only into hot studs who knock them off their feet with their muscles.
No, a real woman will never fall in love with you because of your six-pack or broad shoulders.
However, she will definitely be drawn to them when she first lays her eyes on you.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not implying that you necessarily have to be a top model from the cover of a magazine for a girl to like you; I’m just saying that your looks are the first thing everyone notices about you, whether you like it or not.
So, the first step to getting a girl to like you is taking care of your appearance. Nobody expects you to look perfect but you should have good hygiene, smell nice and always make sure you’re dressed neatly.
Of course, you don’t need to have the most expensive clothes but you should be dressed for the occasion. Pay attention that your clothes are clean and ironed and that you wear matching colors.
Another thing you need to work on is your posture. Even if you’re not the most confident man in the world, when you plan on hitting a girl, act like you own the room.
It is important to smell good but that doesn’t include using too much body spray or cologne. Have a signature scent but don’t overcome the people around you with noxious fumes of it.
If you’re not satisfied with your weight or body in general, consider hitting a gym.
Besides improving your health and looks, it will also help you with your self-esteem and make you feel much better.
2. Be authentic
Wherever you look, there are plenty of guys hitting on girls and trying to flirt with them.
So, if you plan on seducing a certain woman, you have to be aware of the fact that dozens of different men have probably tried the same.
She’s heard all the pick-up lines, all the jokes and seen all the possible hooks these guys used to get closer to her. If she didn’t personally experience it, she saw it on her girlfriends.
Therefore, if you don’t want to be just another guy in a row of those she turns down without even giving them a second look, you have to find a way to stand out from the crowd.
A way to become special, unique and authentic—a way for her to notice you.
This doesn’t mean that I’m advising you to act like a fool or a clown. Yes, this approach would make you visible to everyone around you but that is not the kind of attention you should aspire to.
Instead, a good idea would be to find an interesting hobby or to engage in some interesting activity that most girls would like to hear about.
However, the most important thing is not to pretend to be someone you’re not to impress others.
Besides risking the chance of losing yourself, sooner or later, the girl you’re trying to win over will see right through you and she’ll think of you as a liar.
3. Work on yourself
If you want girls to like you, firstly you have to like yourself. In order to accomplish that, you need to become the best version of the man you are now.
No, you don’t have to change completely but you should work on improving yourself. And I’m not talking about looks here only—I’m talking about your personality as well.
Find a new hobby, start learning a new language, hit the gym and most of all, start reading.
Educate yourself in more than one way; explore different cultures, listen to various kinds of music, watch movies and do as much as you can to expand your views on life.
The same goes for your finances and career; these are also the fields you should put your energy into.
No, don’t go after gold-diggers who are only interested in your money but also be aware that no real woman would look at some immature boy who doesn’t have any ambitions and who clearly needs someone to guide him through his own life.
Before finding a mature girlfriend, you should focus on the relationship you have with yourself.
Do all the things you’ve always wanted to do and turn yourself into a happy man before expecting someone else to do so.
Once you reach a certain level of self-improvement and become the man you should be, your confidence will consequently rise.
You will feel much better about yourself and you’ll be more certain of all of your abilities, including the ones needed to win a girl over.
Whether some would like to admit it or not, the truth is that women like men they can rely on.
If you want to make any girl like you, just let her know that you’re capable and strong enough to be her rock and that you are someone who has the capacity to build his life the way he wants.
4. Don’t be too pushy
When you’re figuring out how to get a girl to like you, you want to put in all of your strength to make her yours. You’re ready to move mountains for her sake and you want to spend every second of your free time with her.
Not only that—you have the constant need to call and text this girl.
You want to tell her good morning every day and let her know that she is the first thing that goes through your mind when you open your eyes, you want to call her when you hear a love song which reminds you of her, you want to know what she’s been up to or just randomly check on her and you want her to know that you think about her all the time.
Sounds perfect, right? After all, if you ask any woman what she wants from a man, this is exactly what she’ll tell you—she wants a nice guy who is focused on her all the time.
Well, the truth is actually quite different. Women don’t dig too much attention and they can easily declare you a creep or characterize you as just a nice guy if you go around turning her every wish into reality.
So, the point is to show her that you’re interested without being too pushy or too boring.
You don’t have to literally play hard to get but you will only get a counterproductive effect if you exaggerate and give you her heart on a plate right away.
In this case, a girl will realize that she can have you whenever and however she wants so she’ll know she doesn’t have to put any effort into winning you over.
Sadly, she’ll take you for granted and put you on hold while she worries about other guys who are not sure about her.
This might sound toxic but the fact is you have to be a little bit mysterious if you want a girl to really fall for you.
She can’t know how you feel or what you think about at every moment; instead, if she puts energy into trying to decode you, you’ll get under her skin in no time.
5. Do little things for her
However, you can’t ignore her completely either and make her believe you don’t care at all because that kind of behavior is a big turn off for most girls.
Actually, the trick is to finding a perfect balance and giving her just the right amount of attention which will keep her hooked on you for a long time.
One of the ways to accomplish this is to start doing little things for her and make this girl feel special.
Show her that you’re there for her, that she can count on you no matter what and that you’re the one she can call in the middle of the night when she has an emergency, without the fear of her call being left unanswered.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean you should become her slave or pet. If you go over the top and if she sees that you’ll come running for every foolish thing she asks you to do, every girl will start using you and will take advantage of your kindness.
So, don’t go shopping with her, don’t help her tidy her room and stuff like that.
However, be the man she calls when she needs some repairs around the house done, when she has a flat tire or when she needs some important life advice.
Also, don’t forget to surprise her on important dates, such as her birthday or Christmas.
You two are still not a couple and you certainly won’t throw any huge romantic gestures but you can get her a little something just to show her that you thought of her.
6. Make her laugh
If you can’t make a girl laugh, at least don’t make her cry. This sentence alone explains the essence of what women want from a man—someone who will brighten her day and make her life a little better.
No girl is immune to a guy with a good sense of humor—there is no doubt about that.
So, if you want to get under her skin, throw in a few jokes before you actually start hitting on her.
This will show her that you’re a confident man who doesn’t have any communication barriers and who knows how to start a proper conversation. Also, it will help you both relax and lose tension.
Nevertheless, what is important about making a girl laugh is your choice of jokes.
Don’t overreact and don’t forget that this is the girl you’re just getting to know, not one of your buddies you can joke about everything with.
You never know what might offend someone and just because you find a certain joke funny, it doesn’t mean she will too.
So, please, think before you speak unless you want to ruin the entire evening with a comment which might hurt her feelings or make you look like an insensitive jerk.
Avoid inappropriate humor which might include racist, homophobic or misogynic jokes. Not everyone is a fan of dark humor either so you might want to skip these jokes as well.
On the other hand, dirty jokes might increase the sexual tension between the two of you and serve you as good foreplay but in this initial stage, it would be better to avoid them.
Besides being rude, dirty jokes can make this girl think that you’re a sex-obsessed maniac who just wants to get into her pants.
7. Compliment her
When a girl tells you she hates compliments, she is lying. We all love to hear nice words, especially coming from the opposite sex.
Therefore, one of the ways to get a girl to like you is by telling her how beautiful, smart or attractive she is. However, the key is to be as honest as possible when it comes to praising her.
Trust me—all girls have some kind of radar and she will realize right away if you’re bullshitting her.
Remember that she heard all of these compliments a bunch of times by now so don’t approach her using tacky pick-up lines.
If you, for example, tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, she’ll see it as your lame attempt to get laid that night and she’ll assume that you used that exact sentence on dozens of girls before her.
After all, every guy who ever tried hitting on her probably told her the same thing, without even really thinking about it.
So, when you’re trying to compliment a girl and you want her to really buy it, make her feel special.
You have to find something distinctive about her which makes her stand out of the crowd and focus on that part.
For example, you can tell her that she has a contagious smile or that you really like that birthmark she has.
Also, use some reverse psychology and give her a type of compliment she’s not used to.
For example, if you see an attractive girl who usually gets comments about her appearance and smoking hot body, tell her that you like her wit or unusual sense of humor.
On the other hand, if you notice a girl who is verbally strong and gets all the attention based on her sharp mind, focus on her looks and beauty.
8. Listen to her
If you’re trying to figure out how to get a girl to chase you, she has to see you as a trustworthy person she can confide in.
As a man, she can tell her deepest secrets to, without fear of being judged and without being scared you’ll go around and talk badly about her even if you get into a fight or if your potential relationship comes to an end.
The best way to show her your interest is to do your best to get to know her better. Ask her some deep questions and show her that you truly listen to her and that she can open up to you.
Don’t let your entire communication revolve around you just hitting on her and put an effort into forming a meaningful bond that goes beyond only sexual or romantic.
Show her that you want to know what she has to say and that you care about her as a person and not just as your potential girlfriend.
Another way to show a girl that you care is by remembering some details about her.
Surprise her by mentioning the name of her first pet or by showing her that you know when her best friend’s birthday is.
Tell her that you noticed the fact that she changed her haircut or did something different with her make-up; that will make her feel more visible and wanted and she’ll for sure appreciate the attention she’s getting from you.
I assure you that she’ll be happy about the fact that you remember the things which matter to her. This is a clear sign that you’re paying attention to her and that you’re listening to everything she has to say.
9. Find a way to impress her
You know how back in high school all girls were into successful sportsmen?
Well, the truth is that things don’t change much in adulthood.
However, don’t take this literally; you don’t have to become a world-famous athlete overnight for girls to fall for you.
Nevertheless, it would be good if you could develop a set of skills which might impress the weaker sex.
You can knock her off her feet with your amazing dancing skills, with the way you talk to her or simply with your good manners.
Either way, the goal is to wow her with something you do or say and to remain in her thoughts even when the two of you are not physically together.
Another good idea is to get her the present she always wanted and casually mentioned to you. This doesn’t have to be anything huge or expensive; it is just a sign of your attention.
But the best, even though the possibility, not the fastest way to impress any girl, is just to be yourself.
It is to treat her with kindness and respect and not to be a douchebag even when you’re playing little mind games with her.
10. Focus on your common interests
According to most dating experts, opposites do attract but contrary to popular opinion, they don’t last.
On the other hand, your romance is more likely to be successful if you and your partner have similar world views and have a lot in common.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you and your potential girlfriend need to listen to the same music or have similar tastes in movies if you want your relationship to work out.
However, this is the person you’ll be spending most of your time with and it would be best if you two could enjoy your activities together.
Therefore, if you want to convince a girl that you’re the one for her, a good idea is to focus on your common preferences.
Use her social media profiles to investigate her a little bit and casually mention something you know she likes as if it was an interest of your own.
Also, you can surprise her by getting tickets for her favorite band, telling her that actually you are the one dying to see them.
Casually mention that you want to see a certain movie but that none of your good friends want to tag along and ask whether she wants to keep you company.
The goal is for her to think that this is just a mere coincidence and that you just happen to enjoy the same things as her.
In fact, she’ll probably start believing that you’re her soulmate and other half because meeting someone so compatible is a miracle she shouldn’t miss.
11. Be her friend
Every guy’s biggest nightmare is to end up friend-zoned by the girl he likes.
It is a common misconception that leaving the friendzone is mission impossible and that there is no possible way out of it, once you get yourself trapped in it.
Well, let me challenge that view and tell you that it is important to become good friends with a girl if you want her to really like you.
You see, if you’re just trying to get laid and want to awaken some short-term emotions inside of a woman, it won’t be necessary to put any effort into being friends with her first.
However, if you want her to grow to love you in the future, the trick is to get under her skin and not only in her pants.
If you’re figuring out how to get a girl to fall for you, for starters, open up and share your personal life with her. Show her that you trust her so she’ll begin trusting you in return.
Don’t be ashamed to ask her for advice. In fact, she’ll appreciate it and understand that you value her opinion.
12. … but make your intentions clear
However, if you don’t want to end up in the friendzone forever and if you don’t want her to start seeing you as one of her girlfriends, you need to have guts and make your intentions obvious.
Make it clear that this friendship thing is only temporary, that you’re using this time to get to know her better and that you wouldn’t be okay with you two staying in this kind of relationship forever without any sign of progress.
If you have trouble telling her all of this directly, send her subtle hints that you see her as more than a friend.
Avoid talking to her about make-up, clothes, celebrity crushes, and other girly stuff.
Most importantly—don’t talk about your other romantic interests because if you do, it is clear that you have no romantic intentions toward just her.
It is one thing if you bring up the topic of your exes or talk about your longest relationship but you shouldn’t become this girl’s shoulder to cry on about her broken heart.
Since you two are not in a relationship, it is probable that you’re dating other people. However, don’t give each other advice regarding that, like real friends do.
On the other hand, you showing interest in this girl’s love life is a sure-fire sign that you plan to make a move on her.
Don’t be scared of directly asking her whether she is single and ready to mingle.
13. Send her body language signs
Sometimes, when you’re figuring out how to get a girl to like you, there is no need to say some things out loud in order to make them obvious. This especially goes when it comes to romantic relationships.
In some situations, there is more magic in showing your emotions through body language signs without actually verbalizing them.
It is about sending the object of your affection signs that you’re into her and dragging both of you into the cat and mouse game.
So, if you want a certain girl to see you that you like her and for her to eventually like you back, begin your courting by making eye contact.
The eyes are the windows to the soul and if you stare at her and raise your eyebrows every time she walks by, she’ll notice that you’re into her without you having to speak.
Don’t be discouraged even if she looks away every time you try to maintain deep eye contact; maybe she is just embarrassed and needs more time to become comfortable around you to look back at you.
Instead of just looking at her eyes, glance over her lips as well as it will serve her as a signal that you would like to kiss her.
Also, don’t forget to smile every time she sees you; you want this girl to think of you as a source of positive energy and you want to make her feel good whenever she is in your presence.
If you’re nervous when this girl is around, don’t give up and do your best to get over it and make a move on her despite your fears.
In fact, even if she notices your sweaty palms or shaky voice, she’ll probably find it cute.
Don’t forget to pay attention to eye contact and other body language signs she sends back to you because they can help you tell if a girl likes you or not.
14. Break the touch barrier
Maybe the most important step in figuring out how to get a girl to like you is acquiring physical contact.
This doesn’t mean that you should lean in for a kiss out of the blue or that you should insist on sleeping with her on the first date because that can be a huge turnoff.
In fact, you want her to become comfortable around you and for her body to get used to your presence. And the fastest way to do so is to break the touch barrier.
For starters, stand a little bit closer and have your toes pointed at her while you two talk. Whenever you’re in a bigger group of people, make sure you’re the one who sits next to her.
If you’re too shy to hug her, begin by putting your arm around her chair and then slowly move it toward her shoulders.
When you’re making a point or telling a funny joke, put your hand on her knee.
Touch her hand or move her hair away from her face. Keep her in your arms for a little longer when you two greet and when you kiss her on the cheek, put your mouth near the corner of her lips.
All of this might seem irrelevant at first but trust me—it brings two people closer together and it will deepen your intimacy.
Whether she likes it or not, she will start to feel butterflies and she will crave the next time you touch her.
However, the crucial thing here is not to be a creep. Pay special attention to the feedback which can help you tell if a girl likes you and continue accordingly.
Is your crush comfortable with you ‘accidentally’ touching her? Does she do the same or does she back out every time you get closer?
No matter what, you have to respect this and every other woman’s personal space and you can never be too pushy or invasive.
15. Show initiative
Women like men who know what they want and who are not afraid to get it. Men who don’t have second thoughts and who don’t hesitate when it comes to making decisions.
This is especially true when it comes to dating; if you want to make a girl yours, you’ll have to show initiative.
You can’t waste a lot of time beating around the bush or patiently waiting for her to win you over and to make the first move.
Whether they like to admit it or not, women fall for men who make the first move.
For men who are not scared of rejection, who are not too shy to approach a girl they like and who won’t take no for an answer, without getting abusive.
A woman can be crazy over you but she probably wouldn’t do anything about it, even if her life depended on it.
Instead, most women will patiently wait for you to take the hint or to magically see that they’re into you so you can take over the lead.
So, I guess you’re the one who has to take matters into your own hands if you want to see any results.
The one who should start to flirt, the one who needs to ask for this girl’s phone number, send that first risky text, make the first call, ask her out on a first date and come up with interesting date ideas.
16. Be polite
Trust me when I tell you this: good manners never go out of style and when you’re trying to impress a real woman, you have to show her that you respect her and that you’re a gentleman who knows how to behave himself on every possible occasion.
Forget about being rude to the staff when you go out on your first date, tip the waiter and be nice to everyone you encounter because she will be paying attention to every little detail to help her form an opinion about you.
Besides, it would be great if you’d make some old-fashioned moves like holding the door for her, picking up on her front porch for the first time, bringing flowers for your date and so on.
When it comes to complimenting her, it is crucial to respect her; forget about this girl’s sexual attributes and don’t even think about glorifying her ass and boobs unless you want to offend her.
I know that texting your crush is easier; you have a lot of time to come up with a response, she can’t notice that you’re nervous and you avoid the possibility of getting tongue-tied but if you want to be really polite, call her the first time you initiate contact instead of texting her.
Believe me—she’ll take you more seriously this way.
Don’t worry—none of these moves will make you look like a fool. Instead, your politeness will help you stand out from the crowd and your crush will see that you’re more mature than the rest of the rude boys surrounding her.
17. Don’t fall for her tricks
When a girl is starting to grow feelings for you but is still not sure whether you’re the right choice for her, she will try to manipulate you with some psychological tricks.
And it is up to you whether you’ll fail some of these tests or you’ll beat her at her own games.
First and foremost, she’ll probably try to withdraw from your relationship the moment she sees how crazy you are about her.
In this situation, most men assume that the girl is not interested but this is actually only a test; she wants to see whether you will let her go easily or you’ll chase her even harder.
Well, if this happens, you must show her that she can’t play with you for as long as she wants. Try reaching out but don’t be too persistent and if your first try doesn’t work out, let her come to you.
Don’t worry—she won’t lose interest altogether. In fact, she’ll be intrigued by your behavior and she’ll realize you’re nothing like all those other guys she can fool around with the way she wants.
Another psychological trick most women use on their men is acting bitchy and rude for no specific reason. When your girl is doing this, she is measuring your patience and testing how far she can go.
When this happens, the trick is to play it as cool as possible. She wants you to explode in anger and that is exactly the reaction she shouldn’t get.
18. Show emotional stability
If you want to make a strong girl feel protected, you need to be an even stronger man.
No matter what they say in theory, in practice, all women want someone they can rely on you and someone who is firm enough to hold them together when they’re about to fall apart.
This is exactly why it’s crucial for you to show enough emotional stability for your girl to see that she can lean on you.
No, this doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to be sad, to show vulnerability or to have feelings in the first place.
However, your emotions can’t control you—it has to be the other way around because you’re the one who is in charge of your own life. Even when you’re in pain, you should not let it define you.
You see, girls usually like men who are mysterious about their emotions. They never know how these guys exactly feel so they end up trying to get to the bottom of them, which gets them more hooked.
Even though repressing emotions is never good for your mental health or relationships, women don’t find it attractive if you behave like a big crybaby or if you are a drama queen who makes a fuss about every little thing.
Don’t act like you’re emotionally unstable and show this girl that you have the capacity and the strength to take whatever life throws at you.
19. Be an alpha man
Girls are crazy for the leader of the pack, for the guy everyone else listens to or looks up to.
After all, it’s like that in all the fairytales; the prince always gets the best girl, right?
Therefore, if you’re an alpha man, you’ll definitely get some bonus points with the girl you’re into. But what if you’re not?
Well, in this scenario, use the help of your friends. When you’re in a club or a coffee shop and you expect this girl to come by, ask them to treat you with special respect and to act like you’re the one they respect and the one whose opinion matters the most.
Of course, you’re no tyrant and this girl will see that you’re just a regular guy if she gives you a chance.
However, a first impression is everything and I’m certain that she’ll be impressed by your dominant alpha position.
20. More action, fewer words
Knowing all of this, you’re pretty much good to go and you have the answer to the lifelong question “how to get a girl to like you”. Nevertheless, there is one more thing—talk less and do more.
Focus your entire strategy on concrete actions instead of empty words. Be mysterious, don’t reveal too much about yourself and don’t go around bragging about your abilities.
Instead, let this girl get to know you through your behavior. Don’t give her false promises and make sure your deeds match your words.