If you’re in a relationship for a longer period of time, it might get just a bit more boring because it seems like you have already covered all the conversation topics at the beginning of the relationship and now you two spend more time being silent than actually talking. I know that through silence you can say thousands of things but that’s not what works in the long run.
In long and satisfying relationships, both partners have to work together on creating an environment that lets them both evolve into better people and make them love each other more. Because of that, it’s very important to communicate.
Communication solves issues you might have and also, productive and long conversations end up building a much better emotional connection between you and your partner. It might be frustrating sometimes because your opinions might not be the same, but that doesn’t mean you two won’t get along once you dive deeper into the thought processes of each other. In fact, communication and honest conversations are the best signs you and your partner are being intimate with each other.
Because of the fact that a lot of men don’t actually know what to talk about, or you simply might need some inspiration, I’m going to give you some ideas for conversations and things to talk about with your girlfriend.
Compliment each other
This sounds a bit off the topic, but believe me, it’s not. Talk about something productive such as complimenting your partner for doing something good or telling her that she looks really pretty today. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation but rather some way of showing her that you appreciate her and that you are aware of all the hard work she puts into the relationship. Show her that you have noticed her new dress she wore today to impress you and show her that you notice her effort. Don’t just let her think that you are taking her for granted.
These may be date ideas, vacation ideas or ideas for the weekend. Any kind of planning that will give her something to look forward to. This way you can both voice your ideas, say what you’d like to do and actually turn that into action. It can help you build a better connection because you will be brainstorming about ideas for hours.
Also, something very important here is to visualize. Tell her to close her eyes and let her talk to you about what she wants the experience to look like. Let her talk and then you switch roles. There’s nothing more romantic than listening to your partner talking about your future.
Talk about her
Everyone likes to talk about themselves. That’s why the best solution at the end of the day is to talk about her. Ask her about her interests. Her favorite band? What did she listen to when she was a kid? What did she think about a certain book and why? Where does she want to be in 10 years? How does she want to earn money? Did she ever have a moment when she was extremely embarrassed because of something? These are all amazing questions you can ask a girl in order to make her feel good. She’ll believe that you really are totally interested in what she’s telling you.
The people in your life
The people in the life of both of you have a great impact on you. For that reason, it’s very important to talk about them. Ask her about her friends and how she met them, what do they mean to her and how can they make her a better person. Has she ever had a backstabbing friend? How did they solve their issues?
And what about her previous relationships? Well these things you might not even want to know, but it can help you in your relationship. It can help you to not make the same mistakes the people before you have made, losing her as a result. The thing with this topic is that you don’t really pressure her into talking about it, just ask the first question and if she’s interested in talking about it she’ll continue by herself. Don’t let it seem like you’re insecure and you want to know where the other guys screwed up.
Talk about her family! Is family important to her and why? What about her childhood? Were her parents proud of her? How did they react when she told them the career path she wanted to take? When you are more comfortable opening up to each other, you can go to next level questions such as did your parents and you have any problems while you were growing up? If you suspect something, you could gently ask her if she suffered any verbal or physical abuse. These questions are so important and you have the ability to talk about them for days because of the fact that there are always funny stories to tell about your family, the little fights and how much you love them. This makes you both vulnerable and gives you a sense of closeness.
You both have secrets. Ask her about the biggest secret she is keeping from the world. Just remember that you can’t really push it. If she wants to tell you, she’ll talk about it. But ask her about her secrets and why she’s keeping them a secret. Ask her about the things her parents never found out about and about some embarrassing scenes that will forever be kept a secret.
Of course, you have to take part in this and talk about your secrets as well and also promise that you will continue on keeping her secrets just that – a secret. This way trust is formed and you are finally able to dive deeper into her soul and see what’s hiding there.
View on life and religion
Everyone has their own philosophy of life and religion and they are based on things we have experienced. Because of that, it’s important to know what your partner’s view of life is in order for you to understand them better and for you two to see if you’re compatible or not. But let’s put that aside for a while. Ask her about what she wants to do with her life and what’s her view on life in general. Does she live every day like it’s her last or does she plan out every part of every day? Why does she live her life like that and what are her next steps to living life in a better way?
And what about religion? What is her view of God? Does she believe in the afterlife? Did she have someone in her family who was really religious? From whom did she learn what she knows about religion? This really is a topic on which you can talk about for hours on end and never get tired of it because it’s interesting. But again, you have to respect the opinions of each other to the point where you won’t get mad at your partner for thinking or feeling a certain way about this topic.
What a great topic to talk about, right? Talking about fears is usually one of the best ways to get intimate and get to know your partner better. Your girlfriend must have those little meaningless fears like spiders and thunderstorms, but at the same time, ask her about the bigger fears. Is she afraid of death and why? Is she scared of not knowing things? Is she afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt? These questions really hit the spot and you can keep this conversation going throughout the whole night if you are consistent enough with your questions without being invasive. Be understanding about her fears and if you have the same fear, exchange your thoughts on it. Afterwards, put your own opinion into the conversation and tell her about your fears and what scares you in life the most. It’ll be more interesting than you might expect.
I know that it seems like a boring topic but telling each other how your day went and about that funny thing someone said to you at work really is a great conversation starter. You can tell each other about all those funny moments that you wish your partner was there to experience with you. If she had an argument with someone, let her tell you the whole story and don’t interrupt her. Let her tell you all the arguments she made in the fight and what was the end result. If you have space to ask questions, do so! She’ll love that you’re interested and it can lead to deeper conversations. In one day, she can go through many emotions and discussing all of them and finding solutions for problems will keep you busy for a while.
Every person has their own passions in life and what they want to do because it makes their blood flow faster. The way people look when they’re talking about things they love really is wonderful! For that same reason, talking about your passions and asking her about hers makes an impact. Did she paint when she was little? Why did she stop? Does she like to dance? What is she so passionate about that she would leave her job right this moment if it meant she could earn a living doing it?
You might have things in common that you can discuss further and give each other advice on these things. You make her feel special, you let her talk and then you just add your own opinion. Believe it or not, that’s how simple conversations are, especially a conversation about your passions.
What makes her happy? This sounds very simple but it’s also very productive for your relationship. You can talk about what makes the other one happy and this way, you will know what to do in order to make her happy. There might be little things like picking flowers or big things like the health of the people around her. This might be the perfect way to fall in love with her all over again because you will see that she is human, too, and that you don’t have to do some grand gestures in order to make her the happiest person alive.
A kind of scary topic. Often, people feel vulnerable talking about their relationship with their partners from a different perspective. How about you two make a deal to sit down every month and do an overview of your relationship? What can you do better? How can you improve certain aspects in which you’re lacking? What does the other side need that they’re not getting and so on?
The improvement of your relationship should be your top priority. I guess that that’s also the reason why you searched this topic and why you want to improve your communication. Communicate your differences, your wants and needs, your boundaries in relationships. This way it will be much easier for both of you to work together and find out if you really are compatible or not.
Marriage and kids
Well, why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t want to get married because they are afraid to commit? Or she wants to commit but you’re the one who’s afraid? How can you know this without asking? You don’t have to talk about this early on in the relationship, but it is really important to talk about it at some point, so you know if you have a future together and if you have the same view on monogamous relationships and how would you want your marriage to work.
Kids are also a topic for conversations exactly because of your future together. You have to know if you two want the same. How many kids do you guys want? If she wants kids but you, on the other hand, get frustrated every time you’re around kids and you simply don’t want a commitment like that, you have to let her know. It won’t help to try and convince her against her beliefs.
Naughty conversations are a must in relationships. Sex is an important part of your relationships and for that reason you can talk about sex in two ways:
The first way is you talk about how to improve your sex life to perfection and what you need your partner to do more (or less) in order for you to feel more pleasure. Ask her if she’s satisfied and if she wants to try out new things that can help you get a better connection in bed.
The second way is you two talking dirty to each other. You know what I mean—tell her while breathing deeply what you’d like to do to her and what turns you on about her and your sex. Talk about the way you love to touch her curves and the way her moans make you feel like a real man. This gives you both security and reassurance that what you’re doing is pleasurable to the other.
It’s always an interesting topic to talk about the news. There is always something happening in the world that you can research or hear on the news. What are her opinions on the newest conspiracy theories? There are so many things around us that can be talked about. There is bad news that you can ask her opinion about but there is also lots of good news out there giving you the chance to talk about how you don’t appreciate the little things life gives you. Numerous possibilities. Just find a story that’s interesting to the both of you.
What countries do you want to visit? Why? What new dish do you want to try out? Talking about traveling is one of the most interesting conversations you two can have. Start a conversation on this topic and you’ll end up discussing different cultures all around the world and you will also be making plans for the future where you two will travel the whole world together.
Even talking about things you’d like to pack with you for certain trips could be interesting. It can get funny and awkward, but you’ll get a better insight into your partner and she into you. If she is willing to live out of a backpack for months of traveling, you know that she’s open minded for new things and so on. It’s just so easy to get to know a person better when you’re talking about traveling.
Gossiping isn’t that bad at all. It’s a great conversation starter and it can go on forever because there is always something to say about someone else. This doesn’t have to mean that gossip should be bad, but rather that you talk about the behaviors of your friends around you and other couples. You can always learn from them or at least get a solid laugh. Ask her about her work and colleagues – she’ll have a lot to say, believe me.
Work-related things don’t always mean gossip. It can be a conversation about a new project she’s working on and maybe you can give her some advice on how to better handle the team she’s working with. You can also ask her for her opinion on some problems you’re facing at work.
I know that it’s not emotional talk and it’s not something that you would consider to be romantic, but it lets you both know that you are able to look outside the box and that you are willing to help each other in every aspect of your lives. With this, you will be able to see if maybe, one day, you could work together as well. Maybe even start something on your own? Who knows?
OK, here comes the serious stuff. Talking about your inner emotions, especially with your partner is frightening. It’s making you vulnerable and the whole new level of intimacy is creeping you out. I get it! I get it all. But it’s not a reason why you should avoid this conversation.
If you are angry, try to articulate your feelings—what triggered your emotions and how she can help you feel better. Also, if you see that she’s been going through some problems and that she feels sad, depressed or anxious, ask her all the questions that are needed for her to open up to you. What caused her feelings? How is she dealing with them? Can you help her? Women really do want you to continue on asking them questions even after they’ve told you, “I’m fine”. She is not fine! Go and figure out what’s wrong!
Do not go with the intention on making it better because there are no good or bad emotions. Emotions are just certain ways of reacting to situations in order for the body to go back to being its natural self again. Just help her by being interested in her emotions. Take part in it and don’t let her feel like she’s alone in situations where she needs you desperately.
Not a pleasant topic to talk about, but at least it’s better than yelling at each other. If you have had a fight recently, try talking about it. It’s extremely important for your relationship to talk about your arguments, fights and conflicts. It lets you make an overview that can help you in your relationship.
When the fight is actually happening, there is usually not much space to talk things through to the core because you’re both very confused. The adrenalin is causing you to have clouded thoughts and it doesn’t let you think rationally. So now, sit down and talk things through like adults. Find a way to solve arguments productively—in a way where both of you can be happy. There are so many things you can do better if you just talk about them.
I am not even joking about this one. I am genuinely telling you to talk with your girlfriend about cooking. Even if you’re not a good cook yourself, talk about different spices, what brands are the best for certain dishes and so on. This is for the pleasure of the both of you. You can cook together as some team building to strengthen your relationship and turn it into something wonderful and special. Cooking is also the best way to improve yourself and to learn how to listen to critics. And while doing all of that, you will get your tummies full of amazing things that you two have cooked together. There are no downsides to talking about food and cooking.
How to never run out of topics to talk about
This right here might be even more important than the things I have listed above.
You see, people think that they don’t have anything to say at all or that what they’re talking about is going to bore the hell out of someone else. Don’t think that way! You have been given the amazing opportunity to talk with someone you love and you enjoy talking with her. Do not be fooled that you don’t have something interesting to say or an interesting story to tell. Just give yourself space and all of your words will come out easily.
Listen! The key to good communication is to listen actively. When you listen, you will know exactly at what part you can ask a new question to continue the conversation and you will also know what to ask. Knowing what to ask is crucial because she might be upset with you because you’re repeating a question she already answered and that by itself is a conversation killer. You simply have to listen and hear what she’s telling you.
Remember what she’s telling you. This goes together with listening. By remembering what she told you before, it will be easier to find a way to continue the conversation. If she’s talking about something, you can connect it with something from the past that she was telling you about. By doing this, you will not only help the conversation but also make her think that she’s important enough to you that you remember what she was telling you.
Take care of yourself. I know that I have listed so many things here that you can talk about with your girlfriend, but putting the focus on her the whole time isn’t an option. Remember that you have to be healthy and happy in order to have the urge to keep the conversation going. Don’t neglect your own needs in order to fulfill hers. How is this a conversation killer, you might be wondering? If you don’t feel good, than there is no conversation to begin with. Take care of yourself firstly.
I heard in a movie once that ‘interested is interesting’ and I found that advice to be very helpful! Whenever I turn the conversation in a way that the person talking with me does all the talking and I just listen and keep on asking questions, the communication gets better all the time. When you’re interested in the story of someone, they notice it and they don’t want to stop talking with you.
So now you have some ideas for conversation topics and some tips for always having something to talk about. The next time you’re alone with your girlfriend and that awkward silence is all around you, don’t hesitate to try out one of these topics. They really will help you and your girlfriend have a much much deeper and more powerful emotional connection.