Wondering how to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love? Well, it’s not that complicated as you might think. Today you’ll learn all you need to know about emotionally unavailable men and what EXACTLY you need to do to help them open up to you (and fall in love with you).
Although you’ve tried to avoid it, you’ve fallen for a guy who is clearly emotionally unavailable. (I totally sympathize with you.)
You simply don’t know how to show him your love in the right way, how to show him that he can trust you, and most importantly—how to make him love you back.
His Secret Obsession teaches you how to use their knowledge in male psychology to your advantage. With this precious insight, you can get any man you want.
You keep asking yourself how to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you, right?
With time, you’ve started feeling hopeless and helpless because you don’t have the answer to this question.
But what you don’t know is that there are tricks and successful ways to win this type of guy over. Below you’ll find 5 of them.
You’ll also learn how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man and how to make him miss you. But before all that, let’s first check what such a man actually wants and whether he’s able to fall in love in the first place.
An emotionally unavailable man usually wants to keep things casual and undefined. He’s the type of man who is unable or unwilling to commit to someone emotionally. Simplified, he has a fear of the emotional commitment that comes with long-term relationships.
Generally, emotionally unavailable people deal with emotional obstacles that often make them overly critical of both themselves and those around them. The majority of them also suffer from low-self esteem and have a negative mindset.
Their tendency to be overly self-critical makes it hard for them to connect emotionally with others. So, such men spend a lot of time internalizing their emotions or putting up walls to avoid dealing with them. Yes, they also ignore your texts from time to time.
Yes. Emotionally unavailable men can fall in love because they are still humans who crave emotional connections. They just have a hard time opening themselves to someone new and connecting with them.
Can you ever make him commit to a serious relationship with you?
Of course, you can, but this will require lots of patience and devotion. Some emotionally unavailable men need more time to open up to someone new and build trust while others need less time to do so.
Every man is unique. Also, every emotionally unavailable man deep down inside wants a loving relationship and they have the capacity to fall in love if you do everything RIGHT. Here’s how you’ll do it!
How do you make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you? How do you help him commit to you?
If you want to make him fall in love with you, here’s what you need to do:
Show him that you are his friend
One of the first pieces of dating advice when it comes to making a man who is emotionally unavailable fall in love with you is not to present yourself as his potential girlfriend.
Make him see you for everything you could be to him – CLICK HERE.
I know your final goal is to make this man your boyfriend or even to marry him eventually but you shouldn’t put all your cards on the table right away.
If you do that, this man might be scared and he might run away from you before giving you a chance to show him everything you have to offer.
How to make an emotionally unavailable guy fall in love with you?
If you want him to get emotionally attached to you, you need to show him that you don’t only want to be his lover—that you also want to be his friend.
Keep in mind the following dating tips:
- Friendship is the basis of every healthy relationship.
- Though, don’t make him think that he’s in a friend zone.
- Also, don’t play mind games.
- Be his best friend and through time he’ll fall head over heels in love with you.
This guy needs to get to know you as a person before he gets to know you as his potential girlfriend. This is something most women forget to focus on.
You need to understand that he will never consciously let you in his life as long as he sees that you want to make him commit, because he sees this as you taking away his freedom.
That is why he needs to see all of your qualities before this. He needs to see you are a person he can rely on and he needs to see he has your support through life.
When the two of you spend time together and start with emotional bonding, he’ll start to grow feelings for you without even being aware of it.
This is the only way to get under this guy’s skin. He’ll simply accept you as a part of his life.
With time, he’ll get used to you, and he won’t be able to imagine a day without you in it and that is exactly what you want to achieve.
Don’t pressure him too much
I know you want to commit. You believe in labels and all you want is a stable relationship and naturally, you want any man by your side to know this and you hope that he wants the same.
But sadly, things are not like that when you run into an emotionally unavailable man.
Because when a man is emotionally unavailable, he will run away as fast as he can as soon as he hears the words ‘commitment’, ‘exclusive’ or ‘relationship’. Why? Because he is a commitment-phobe.
So you simply don’t know what to do. You don’t want to play his games and you want him to know your expectations of this relationship.
Wondering how to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love?
Although there is nothing wrong with telling your partner what it is that you want, if this is a guy who is emotionally unavailable, just make sure not to pressure him too much because it can be counterproductive.
Related: Top 13 Signs Of An Emotionally Mature Man
Instead of constantly talking to him about if things between you guys will change and when he plans to commit, have one serious conversation about this and see where you stand.
After this, just let time do its work and allow things to go with the flow.
Give him some time to realize on his own how much he loves you. If you notice that he’s pulling away, consider this as a red flag and slow things down.
The fact is that emotionally unavailable men don’t like to be pressured or forced into doing anything. They run away as soon as they feel someone is trying to make them do anything they’re not comfortable with.
The last thing you want is to appear too clingy, needy or desperate in this guy’s eyes.
Besides, even if he agrees to commit to you, you don’t want to know this happened because you forced him to do so. You don’t want him doing anything he really doesn’t want to do, just to please you.
Don’t talk about the future
If you wonder how to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love, you need to learn to enjoy your life in the present.
You need to make your relationship with him the best it can be now, without thinking what might happen tomorrow because this is the only way to keep him around.
Yes, this man is probably broken, with a lot of emotional baggage from the past. So, if you really want this relationship to work out, you need to stop thinking about the things that made him like this and caused his emotional unavailability.
And I know you want to plan your future and that you want to know if this is the man who can go with you through life.
However, if you constantly mention this to him and if you constantly question him about his future plans, you’ll just scare him away.
Remember these three key things:
- Don’t talk about serious things on the first date.
- Don’t expect him to tell you I love you too soon.
- Don’t force a long-term relationship.
You know where this guy stands right now and he has probably made it very clear that he doesn’t want a relationship at the moment.
That means that you had the option of walking away from him or accepting his decision. You stayed by this man’s side so it means that you’ve accepted his terms.
So the best option for you is to simply enjoy the present and to live day to day.
I am not telling you to disregard your future completely—I am just advising you not to burden yourself with it too much because it will ruin every chance you have with this guy.
Show him you can live without him
When you are dating a man you have feelings for, you want to spend every moment with him and you want him to know how much you love and need him.
But what you might not know is that most men fall in love with mentally strong women who show them they don’t need them to complete them.
Therefore, if you want to make any guy, and especially an emotionally unavailable guy, fall for you, you need to show him he is not your necessity.
Yes, you have strong feelings for him but that doesn’t mean you’ll chase him or that you’ll beg for his love or attention. You are an independent woman who can live without him, despite any emotions you might have for him.
So, how to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you?
You’ll make him fall in love with you by not allowing him to treat you the way you don’t deserve and that you won’t put up with his bad behavior toward you.
Besides, whether we like to admit it or not, men are born hunters. It is simply in their blood and that is what drives most men toward women.
Therefore, you need to make this guy come to you and you need to make him chase you.
This is one of the ways to show him that he can’t be taking you for granted and that you won’t agree to be his last resort and at the bottom of his priority list.
Show this guy that you have a life of your own, with or without him. Show him that you have your family, friends and other interests and that he is not your main focus.
There is nothing bad about making him a little bit jealous and showing him that there are other men interested in you as well.
Also, don’t run to him every time he calls and show him you have other options available. This will make him scared that he’ll lose you and he’ll definitely rethink his behavior toward you.
Open up to him
One of the signs of an emotionally unavailable man is having trouble opening up to new people and letting them in.
They act like this because they are scared of people, especially women, causing them emotional pain, using them, and hurting them in other ways.
And when you enter this guy’s life, he will probably see you as a threat and he won’t let you pass his emotional walls.
How to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you? Simple.
If you want your emotionally unavailable guy to love you, he has to start seeing you as trustworthy.
He has to see you as a woman he can trust and a woman who won’t use his weaknesses or vulnerabilities against him.
He has to see you as someone who won’t take advantage of his feelings.
And if you want to accomplish that, the first thing you have to do is be open to this guy about your own emotions. Little things build trust.
He has to see that you have no trouble sharing your secrets with him and that you trust him completely. This is the only way for him to start sharing his own secrets with you and to feel safe around you.
Besides, this will also help him get to know you better and to see you as a woman who is worthy of him taking his shield away from his heart.
Related: 17 Clear Signs A Guarded Man Is Falling In Love With You
Building a deep emotional connection with an emotionally unavailable man requires building trust, patience, and lots of listening instead of judging.
Truth be told, every emotionally intimate relationship is built on trust and friendship, so here’s what you need to do:
Know yourself
Learn all your triggers, know yourself and manage yourself. Know that some of his answers on certain topics will annoy you and that’s completely normal. When that happens, don’t immediately jump into the attack mode.
Don’t try to change his opinion by force. Instead, work on understanding yourself and learning all your triggers. Accept the fact that things won’t be forever like this but he just needs some time to sort out his feelings.
Communicate your feelings
Instead of gaslighting or ghosting him, tell him how you feel about something. Use words! Tell him something like: “I don’t feel very well right now and I need some time to think about all this.”
Communicating your feelings will help create a safe environment for him where he can also tell you how he feels about things. Also, communication will help you connect on so many levels.
Start teaming up
Remember that no one is wrong and no one is right. There isn’t a right or a wrong answer or solution here. Don’t see him as your enemy but consider teaming up.
Give him some space to find answers to his own questions instead of imposing your answers on him. Keep reminding him that you are a team and that you’re not against each other.
This will help him feel more comfortable around you. It will help him accept you as someone he can completely trust.
Ensure you’re busy making yourself happy
Realize that it’s not his “job” to make you happy because you are the creator of your own happiness. Take good care of yourself so you can give him enough space to focus on his journey of overcoming his emotional unavailability.
I was involved with an emotionally unavailable man. I know for a fact that it’s a draining relationship because it can negatively affect your self-worth and self-esteem.
The more you’re trying to help him to open up to you, the more he pushes you away. The more he pushes you away, the more you’re unhappy.
To keep this from happening, you need to focus on your happiness from day one and let him do his job. Summarized, be there when he needs you but don’t force him to commit to you.
Listen with compassion
There will come a time when he will be ready to talk to you about the things that made him emotionally unavailable. When that time comes, don’t judge him.
Perhaps he was in a bad past relationship, he was raised by a narcissist, or something else happened to him during childhood. There are many factors that can influence a man to shut down his emotions.
If he’s ready to share it with you and talk about it, listen with compassion. Also, if a man feels like he’s still not ready for a romantic relationship (even after confiding in you), don’t push him and don’t judge him.
Instead, make him feel good about himself. Let him know that it’s not his fault that this happened to him and everything will fall into place.
Be patient
The journey of overcoming emotional unavailability is a tough one. Therefore, you need to arm yourself with extra patience.
There will be days when you will feel like everything is going great and that he’s making progress but there will also be days when he will start pushing you away.
When that happens, remember to give him some space. Through time, these “pushing” episodes will decrease and your man will be like new.
The easiest way to make an emotionally unavailable man miss you is by giving him enough space, adding a little bit of mystery, and giving him something unique that will keep reminding him of you.
If you want to make him miss you like crazy, here’s what you need to do:
Give him some space
Here’s another worthy relationship advice: Don’t spend too much time with him. Instead, make sure to give him enough space to be able to miss your presence.
If he’s acting weird, don’t immediately start panicking or asking him tons of questions like Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? or similar.
Give him some space to come to his senses and tell him that you’ll be there when he’s ready to talk about it. That way he’ll know that you respect his need for alone time and he’ll be grateful to you. That way you’ll make him miss you.
Avoid text bombing
You: Hey, I’m wondering why did you act that way today?
You: Did I do something wrong?
You: Are you mad at me?
He: No, I’m not mad at you.
You: Then what’s wrong?
You: Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?
You: Is there something I can do to make you feel better?
He: I’m okay, but thanks for your concern…
This is something you should definitely avoid doing. Don’t text bomb him, don’t ask tons of questions, and just let him be (if it is obvious that he’s not interested in texting you at the moment).
Keep texting at a minimum and let him initiate the conversation. This doesn’t mean that you should never text him first, but the less you text him first, the more he’ll miss you.
Don’t be available 24/7
Don’t be available every time he calls or texts you. Let him know that you have some fun and important things going on in your life and sometimes you don’t have time to talk to him or text him back immediately.
Even if this is not the case with you, then pretend to be too busy from time to time. Of course, if it’s something important, then don’t hesitate to answer his calls or text him back.
Sooner than you know, he’ll be sending you emotional text messages, a telltale sign he truly misses you. Yup.
Add a little bit of mystery
Don’t tell him everything about you in a few first dates or texting sessions. Keep some things for yourself because that will add a bit of mystery. Lord knows that all guys are suckers for mysterious girls (including those who are emotionally unavailable).
Let him ask questions, boost his curiosity and he’ll miss you like crazy. Let him know that he’ll never be able to learn everything about you and he’ll keep coming back for more.
When I tested this “mystery” challenge on my ex who was emotionally unavailable at that time, the next day he contacted me and started asking me LOTS of questions. I’m sure the same thing will happen to you as well once you trigger his curiosity.
Give him memorabilia
It could be anything: a plushy teddy bear, something you made for him, or some other cute thing that will remind him of you.
Leave him something of yours and whenever he sees that one thing, he’ll instantly start thinking about you.
The more he’s thinking about you, the more he’ll miss you. The math is simple here, girl.
Be independent but also be there for him when he needs you
Show him that you’re an independent woman but that you’re also there for him whenever he needs you.
That way he’ll know that you’re not needy and that he can rely on you. That’s exactly what an emotionally unavailable man needs to help him overcome his fears.
Just be yourself
Just be yourself because everyone else is already taken, right? Don’t overthink things. Be who you are, be spontaneous, and have fun together.
Don’t let his emotional unavailability influence the quality of your hangouts. Spice things up with a sense of humor, make him feel comfy in your company, and he’ll miss you even more!
The Takeaway
How to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love? Simple. Don’t overdo things (don’t ask him too many questions), give him some space, be independent but also be there when he needs you.
Be his friend and let him know that he can trust you.
Try to find a balance when it comes to contacting him and spending time with him. Allow him to miss you and you’ll make him fall in love with you.
