From the very first moment I saw you, I instantly felt incredible chemistry with you. You were all that I had been dreaming of.
You were fun, kind and easygoing. You knew what to say in every second. You knew how to make me feel special.
You knew some things too well for my taste. That was the first red flag. The one I closed my eyes in front of.
For some reason, I decided to give it a shot with you even though I had that strange feeling that you would never give me what I needed to be happy.
But I still gave all of myself to you. First, I gave you my mind because I was thinking about you non-stop. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
Secondly, I gave you my body because you knew how to seduce me. I melted in your arms and I felt like I had never felt before.
I was completely yours but you were never mine. Even though you told me that you loved me, you never showed me that with your actions.
In fact, your actions were converse to your promises. I would always end up not getting what I needed the most.
Love, affection and support were only words that you couldn’t transform into deeds. But somehow I was okay with that, thinking that you would change. I thought if I was persistent enough that I would get what I wanted. Because you surely got what you wanted from me.
As time passed, I saw in your eyes that you no longer wanted to fight for me, nor chase me. After you got what you wanted, you totally gave up on me.
You just kept me close because you didn’t want to be alone. But the harsh truth was that you only waited for a better girl to come into your life.
Now, when I look back, I don’t feel bad about loving you. Love is a beautiful thing and you should never feel sorry for feeling something like that.
What I regret the most was allowing you to lead me on for such a long time. I let you do things that I didn’t allow anyone before you. And that hurts me so much.
You were such a great manipulator, telling me everything that I wanted to hear. You knew the way to my heart and you did everything in your power to get control over me.
Being blinded by your love, I allowed it all. I allowed you to ruin me completely. I fell for you hard. The way you only fall for the one.
But unfortunately, you weren’t the right man for me. You could never give me what I craved the most. You didn’t give me yourself. I never had all of you like you had all of me.
And that was something that hurt me the most. I still can’t believe that I fell into your trap so easily. You didn’t even have to put a lot of effort in. I was yours even before you tried to win me over.
I was crazily in love with a man who couldn’t care less about me. But even though I didn’t get what I deserved, I was still happy. Even if I only got crumbs from your table, it was enough for me.
I wanted to live like that because letting you go was harder than staying in an almost relationship with you.
But when I saw that things wouldn’t change, I knew that I had to make the first move. And that is what I did. I left you without a word of explanation.
I mean, you knew it all a long time before. We just pretended that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. And it was about time to accept that truth. It was time to swallow the bitter pill and to move on.
My love for you ended just like it started. Fast, without a lot of explanation and without words.
I moved on and accepted that you were just a lesson I had to learn. I realized that love shouldn’t feel the way it felt for me and that even if I am a little bit broken, I will be someone’s perfect woman.
After you, things won’t be the same. After you, I will be more careful. And what is most important, I will learn to put myself first.
That is the only way I can fully embrace and respect myself. The only way I can be truly happy with everything I am blessed with.
