I Am Slowly Learning To Live Without You

I am slowly learning to live without you. It hasn’t been that long since we split apart but to me it has been like an eternity.

I was waiting for you to realize how broken and scared I was to live my life without you in it but I have got myself back on my feet. I can do this without you.

I am slowly learning to live without my best friend. You were both a friend and a lover. That’s probably why I loved every little part of your personality.

I loved our late-night conversations and the way you’d hold me like no one would ever again touch me after you. We were so wrong for each other but it still felt so right.

I am slowly learning to live without your good morning kiss. Today was the first morning that I didn’t wake up expecting you to kiss me and wish me a beautiful day.

Usually I forget that you’re no longer here with me but this morning I woke up realizing that you weren’t sleeping next to me and that I was alone.

I am slowly learning why we broke up. I didn’t understand it then because it was such an emotional event that I wasn’t able to think straight. I only thought about how it must have been a joke and that this wasn’t happening to me—but it was!

Now I see that we broke up because we didn’t want the same things in our lives. You wanted a career and I wanted a family.

You wanted to work and leave the country, while my own ambition in life was to bring a wonderful child into this world with you. You didn’t like kids. You never did.

I am slowly learning that it’s OK. I will be fine and you will be fine, we won’t be together ever again but it is OK. I don’t blame you for what happened and I have stopped blaming myself.

It’s just how life works sometimes. We have to be aware of the fact that people split up for more tragic reasons than we did.

I am slowly learning to forgive. As I said, I don’t blame either of us anymore. I have learned that holding grudges is poisonous to my own mind and soul, so I stopped blaming and holding on to what happened.

It’s all in the past now, so I forgive you and I forgive myself. We both deserve forgiveness because it wasn’t our fault that we split up. It was simply the fact that we weren’t meant to be.

I am slowly learning that love can’t be unconditional—as much as it hurts me to say this, because I always thought of myself as someone who wears her heart on her sleeve and that I should always love and give because the world needs more people like that.

But the truth is that love can’t be unconditional. We have to know our boundaries, our limits. You have to give something back if you want me to be there for you.

It’s just how the world works. I can’t just stand around and watch you take advantage of my kindness.

I am slowly learning that it doesn’t have to hurt forever. Of course, I was devastated because you weren’t in my life anymore.

Now I see that it doesn’t have to hurt forever because the world has so many wonders for me that I can be enormously happy even without you in my life.

My chest doesn’t have to hurt forever to remind me of what I have lost but you can rather slip away into a happy memory of a life I had in the past.

I am slowly learning I will be loved and that I will love again. I’m sure everyone goes through the stage of misery after a break-up, when they are thinking that it’s impossible to fall in love ever again but it’s not.

There is someone out there who’s meant to be mine and that one person will stay by my side forever. We will go through everything together but he is going to stay. Someone is going to stay!

That’s why I am no longer crying. Sometimes, I remember you and it makes me remember what we went through and it makes me remember that love is so fragile.

But it gives me hope for a new life. Because of these thoughts, I am slowly learning to live without you.