Admitting to yourself that the person you have strong feelings for doesn’t love you back is devastating and difficult to achieve.
However, what is even harder is trying to figure out how to stop caring about someone you love the most but also know that person doesn’t give a damn about you.
Being aware that someone you’d move mountains for you wouldn’t lift a finger for your sake provokes a wide spectrum of emotions in a person.
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At first, you’re angry, then you can’t help but wonder why you aren’t enough for them to love you back, then you try to fight for their love until finally, you come to terms with the harsh truth and understand that the only real option you have is to force yourself to stop caring about that person, one way or another.
It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent with this person – whether the two of you were ever in a real relationship or they are just someone you love from a safe distance – the bottom line is the same: throwing out someone from your heart and kicking them out of your system is never easy and there’s always pain involved.
However, even though you probably don’t believe it now, there are effective ways to do it.
Just follow this step-by-step guide and I assure you that you’ll fall out of love with this person sooner than you might think.
How Do You Stop Caring About Someone Who Hurt You?
The most important thing to do when you’re trying to forget or stop caring about someone who hurt you is to surround yourself with positivity. That is to surround yourself only with those people who spread positive and high vibes.
The next step is to sit down and have a deep and honest talk with yourself. Remind yourself of all the pain that person caused you and of everything you had to go through because of them.
You have to understand that it’s high time to start thinking about yourself and your own well-being. Your suffering is damaging your mental health even more than you’re aware of.
Don’t hide your scars or pretend like they don’t exist. Instead, you should count each and every one of them and be proud of yourself because you were strong enough to endure it all and survive.
Those scars are your ally in this fight. They will keep reminding you that there is no point in caring for someone who never knew to reciprocate your feelings and who did nothing but hurt you. They will motivate you to focus on one of the most significant things in life; self-love.
I know you’re probably thinking that this is easier said than done, but trust me, with this guide it’ll be as easy to do it as it is to say that you don’t care about someone you truly loved anymore.
Accept the reality
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to unlove a person you had a labeled romantic relationship with or a person who was never truly yours, if you’re wondering how and when to stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you, the first step is always to look the truth directly in the eyes and do your best to accept it.
Whatever you had with this person has reached its end and they aren’t coming back, as much as you’d like them to.
So instead of trying to win them back over, instead of wasting your energy on trying to make them love you, save your dignity and force yourself to recognize the signs and accept the fact that they don’t care for you.
Don’t allow yourself to get your hopes up or to settle for some non-existing clues of their feelings – this person doesn’t love you and it’s about time you stop holding a place in your heart for them.
Admit your feelings to yourself
If you’re trying to figure out how to stop caring for your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, you’ll have to be ready for a lot of introspection and self-questioning.
First and foremost, admit your feelings to yourself because self-deception will bring you nowhere.
Accept that you care for this person and that your love is unrequited. You’re a human being and that makes you an emotional creature, so you need to accept that you’re suffering and don’t ever be ashamed of your pain.
If it’s easier, write your emotions down. This way, you’ll visualize them better and you’ll know exactly what you’re fighting against.
But don’t let them overwhelm you
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should allow your pain to define you or to take you over completely.
Yes, you’ve been going through a rough patch for some time now, but you’re much more than just a heartbroken person.
Don’t allow yourself to sink in the pain completely and for everything you’re going through to be the only thing on your mind.
Don’t let your negative feelings suck the life out of you and your heartbreak to turn you into a completely different person.
The truth is that you’re hurt, but that doesn’t mean that you should let those negative emotions block you from feeling happy from time to time.
Cherish those rare moments of happiness and try hard to make them be the ones that consume the most of you.
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
I get that your emotions are all over the place right now. You’re riding on a real emotional rollercoaster and you probably think that your ride is never going to end.
You’re still in love with a girl/guy who stabbed you in the back. It’s completely natural that it provokes so many negative feelings.
You’re angry at them because they’ve betrayed your love and your trust. And you’re even angrier, actually, you’re probably furious at yourself because you keep loving them and don’t know how to stop, or will you ever be able to stop caring for them.
That’s all perfectly normal, BUT, you need to find a way to let all that negativity out. You need to focus on your emotional and mental health.
Exercise, meditate or do whatever you think might relax you. And, most importantly, breathe. Find your inner peace. Set yourself free from all those emotions that only weigh you down.
The bottom line is that you have to let go of the negative emotions caused by unpleasant past experiences in order to create new, positive beginnings.
Remember this is all part of life
As harsh as it may sound, heartbreaks are a part of life and something we’ve all been through at some point.
After all, this is not the first time you’re feeling this way and, I assure you, it won’t be the last either.
The person you love has the right not to love you back and you can’t make them feel any differently.
At the same time, you don’t have the right to be angry at someone for not giving you the emotions you expect to get from them.
Even though everything you’re going through right now might seem like the end of the world, the truth is that you will survive.
You will make it out of this alive and you’ll become stronger than ever.
Stop idealizing the past
When we end a romantic relationship, most of us have the habit of idealizing the person we still have feelings for and the time we’ve spent beside them.
All of a sudden, our ex’s flaws seem to disappear.
We start remembering them as our perfect match and seeing our relationship as way better than it actually was.
Well, if you’re wondering how to stop caring about someone, one of the first things you’ll have to do is stop romanticizing the past.
This doesn’t mean that you should talk trash about your ex-partner whenever you have the chance to, that you should spit on your entire relationship, or that you should force yourself to hate them, but you need to be realistic about everything that went on.
Things between the two of you ended for a reason and every time you think about getting back with your ex, think of that reason instead of all the beautiful memories you shared because that is what will bring you back to reality every time you think of reaching out to them or asking for another chance.
Instead of keeping your head up in the clouds, think about all the times this person showed their indifference toward you and all the times you’ve tried winning their love without much success.
This way, you’ll avoid nostalgia and you’ll keep yourself firmly on the ground at all times.
Cut all ties
You know how they say, “Out of sight, out of mind”, right?
Well, the next and maybe the most important step you need to take in this process of forgetting someone you love is breaking all possible ties with them.
It’s not that you should use the no contact rule to get your ex to come back to you or for them to understand how much you mean to them.
You need to cut them out of your life to make things easier for yourself.
This means that you must stop every possible communication with the person you’re trying to get over.
Block their social media accounts and their phone number, stop stalking them, stop asking your mutual friends about them, and stop showing up at places you know you might encounter them.
All of this may sound too drastic or even rude, but trust me, it is the only thing that helps and something you have to do if you really want to save yourself.
After all, how do you expect to fall out of love with someone you’re in constant touch with?
If you feel guilty for treating this way the person who didn’t do you any harm except not love you back, there is no shame in explaining to them how things are.
Just politely ask them not to be a part of your life anymore because you’re trying to forget about them and their presence is hurting you.
If they have a good heart, they’ll understand you and disappear for good.
Get rid of the memories
Cutting all ties goes hand in hand with getting rid of everything that reminds you of the person you’re trying to get over.
The truth is that when you grow older, you’ll probably want to have a small something connected with someone you used to love, but at this point, you’re looking at your old photos together, and your room is filled with their stuff.
That is exactly why you have to move away from all of these material things the same way you have to move away from the person who is hurting you.
It’s time for you to stop listening to “your song” and stop going to the places that the two of you used to visit together.
Avoid thinking about what should and could have been
One of the biggest mistakes most people who’re trying to get over someone do is allowing all the “could’ve beens” and “should’ve beens” to consume them completely.
This especially happens when you’re trying to move on from a toxic relationship that was never actually good for you.
You can’t help but wonder what would have happened between you and your almost ex if they just had given you the chance.
How would things have turned out if your significant other at least tried to love you back?
Well, if you’re wondering how to stop caring for someone, these thoughts have to leave your mind as soon as possible.
Accept that things turned out the way they did for a reason and you can’t change the past, so what’s the point in cracking your brains open about it?
Make some changes in your life
You know how some girls cut or dye their hair and how guys hit the gym in the post-breakup period? Well, it happens for a reason.
When you’re trying to figure out how to stop caring about someone, one of the crucial steps you simply have to follow is to make some important changes in your life.
Step out of your comfort zone and try something completely new. It doesn’t matter if you change your hairstyle, buy some new clothes, find a new hobby, meet new people and get new friends or change your surroundings and environment – the bottom line is the same…
Each of these things will give you an illusion of a fresh start and it will help you move away from everything connected with the person who broke your heart.
Besides, introducing new habits and people to your life will be quite beneficial for your mental health, and it is one of the quickest ways for you to improve your confidence and make yourself feel better.
Keep yourself busy
Another important thing to do when you’re learning how to stop caring about someone is making sure your schedule is as tight as possible.
Sometimes, boredom and too much free time give us a chance to think more, and consequently, suffer more.
It doesn’t mean that burying yourself in work is the only way to keep yourself busy.
This can also be an opportunity for you to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do – binge watch your favorite series, go to the movies, enjoy a wellness spa day, listen to relaxing music, or just nap whenever you feel like it.
What is important is to do the things that fulfill you and make you happy.
Do your best to stay away from any extra stress because you already have enough on your mind.
But give yourself time to grieve
Nevertheless, keeping yourself busy can’t be an excuse to bury your negative emotions under the carpet.
Instead of allowing your pain to be the only thing you focus on, determine a certain amount of time in every day that is reserved for grieving.
During this time, cry, scream, and do whatever feels good.
However, when this amount of time is over, go back to your obligations and back to living your life.
Another important thing is not to push yourself too hard.
Even though this grieving has to come to an end and even though you can’t allow for it to go on forever, remember that we all heal at a different pace.
Instead of focusing on the length of your emotional recovery, focus on its quality and on making it as successful as possible.
Put yourself back in the dating pool
When you ask others how to stop caring for someone, most people will advise you to find a rebound relationship as quickly as possible because filling the emptiness in your heart with someone new is the best way to fix it.
Nevertheless, carrying a lot of emotional baggage and holding on to your past isn’t how healthy relationships are formed.
However, what you should do is keep your options open. Just because one person from your past didn’t give you the love you needed, doesn’t mean everyone else will be the same.
The best thing for you is to get back in the dating pool without any expectations. For starters, you can change your relationship status on social media to single and open yourself to meeting new people.
I’m not saying jump from one person to the next – just give yourself a chance to meet someone new without being burdened with the outcome.
This way, you can still enjoy the benefits of your single life while you keep yourself entertained and busy.
Just be careful not to chase away someone you like due to your past traumas.
Spend time with friends
The best medicine for broken hearts is being near the people we love and who love us back, no matter what. Your best friends are truly the best endorphins.
Near the people you can be your true self next to, without any false pretenses; those who won’t use your vulnerabilities against you.
That is exactly why spending time with your best friends and family members will help you learn how to stop caring about someone.
Your friends are there to hear you out, help you overcome this crisis, and brighten up your days.
Just make sure not to follow everyone’s advice and suggestions blindly because nobody can know exactly what you’re going through.
Take it as a lesson
Instead of lamenting over someone who obviously doesn’t care about you and taking this heartbreak as the end of the world, try learning from it.
See it as a test of your strength and inner power, and nothing more than a life challenge you will overcome.
Besides, everything you’re going through can teach you that whoever doesn’t love you, doesn’t deserve you caring for them either.
Your heartbreak will show you who your real friends are and who the ones are that you should cut out.
It will show you what is really important in love and it will make you understand that you can survive even without the one you thought you could never live without.
Focus on yourself…
If you want to learn how to stop caring about someone, the next step you need to take is redirecting all of the energy you wasted on this person toward yourself.
Now that you’ve gotten rid of anyone who doesn’t deserve you, it’s time for you to start making yourself happy, without expecting anyone else to do it. It’s time to focus on improving your mental health and well-being in general.
Take a break from the rest of the world. It’s time to work on improving yourself and on putting yourself first. Focus on boosting your self-esteem and improving self-care because those are truly the only things that can help you heal and move on.
Most importantly, now that you’ve stopped loving the wrong person, it’s time to start loving yourself even more.
… On your dreams and goals
Just because you’re currently going through a hard time in your life, that doesn’t mean that you should forget all that you’ve planned for your future. Don’t allow your pain to define your life and don’t ever allow it to mess with your future.
You need to put yourself on the top of your priority list again. You need to understand that your future is far more important than your past.
I know that so many bad things happened to you and it all affected you a lot, but you need to find closure once and for all and leave all those things that weigh you down in the past.
Forget what you feel and remember what you deserve
That person was probably a big and important part of your life for too long and it’s perfectly normal that your feelings for them won’t disappear overnight.
However, just because you love someone it doesn’t mean you should be with them at any cost. Sometimes, love truly isn’t enough.
And you’ll get it one day, trust me. You’ll get that you can’t continue loving someone who doesn’t treat you well and who keeps hurting you.
You’ll also understand that you should love yourself first and above everyone and everything else. You’ll realize that you should never accept any less than you deserve ever again. From that moment on, you’ll demand all or nothing, true love or nothing at all.
Learn the art of letting go
You need to come to terms with the fact that person doesn’t deserve you. It’s life… Some people are only meant to stay in your life for some time and there are those who are meant to stay there forever.
God sends some people in your life just to teach you a lesson. A lesson that you should never give all of you to someone who doesn’t deserve you at all.
Accept that loving someone doesn’t make them deserve you. And don’t ever start thinking how life isn’t fair… Sometimes it doesn’t give you what you want only because you deserve so much more and life has it all prepared for you in the near future.
Letting go is difficult, it’s even heartbreaking but there is so much hidden beauty in it. It’s high time to stop holding on to someone who let you go a long time ago.
Just remember, time always heals
If you want to learn how to stop caring about someone, the last but definitely not least important step is to remind yourself that time heals all wounds.
Time will cure all your wounds and leave you with beautiful scars. Scars that will always be stuck to your soul and serve as a great reminder of how strong and brave you were.
Oh and of course, a reminder that you should never give 110% of yourself to another person or relationship ever again.
You’ll probably need a lot of time to heal completely but once you do, you’ll be able to move on as if nothing happened. As if your heart was never broken and shattered into million pieces.
In A Nutshell
This guide on how to stop caring about someone will remind you that you should always be on the top of your priority list in life and it’ll also teach you the art of letting go.
To be honest, it’s never easy to stop caring about someone who was an important part of your life for so long. It’s a hell of a journey but you must trust me with this, you’ll see that it was worth it all in the end.
Sometimes you just have to give up on certain people. The truth is that you’ll never be able to find the right person as long as you’re holding on to the wrong one…
Cheers to ‘letting go’ and wonderful new beginnings.