Dating has changed completely. I’ve spent enough time in the dating world to notice some things are not as they used to be. I remember that when you met a guy, you would go on a few days and if you hit it off, you would go to the next phase—the bedroom.
But, today, it’s all so different. It’s like most girls want to skip the phase of going on dates, getting to know each other, and they go straight to the sack. Just a few drinks and you closed the deal. And at the same time hoping that he won’t be a jerk, that he is really the one.
When did the art of dating disappear?
I can definitely say that dating in a classic, and let’s say ‘traditional’, way is close to extinction. We’ve entered a hookup world where guys switch girls and treat them like consumer goods. After all, we live in a high consumer society, so why wouldn’t men and women become ‘disposable’ like the goods we buy and toss every day.
But, there are still some of us out there who want to do things traditionally—who want to go on dates, chat about casual things, share their hobbies and interests with the other person and see if they are hitting it off before doing anything else.
The problem is that you don’t always know if the person sitting on the other side of the table thinks the same way you do or he is just looking for something on the side, no strings attached, a hookup?
If you want to be sure you’ll recognize someone who’ll use you and never get back to you again, read these signs that scream he thinks of you as nothing more than just a hookup:
1. His conversations always end in a sexual manner
There are two possible outcomes to the situations when you’re talking to him. If you are actually talking about something spicy and steamy, it’s normal that your conversations will lead to a sexual ending.
It’s a nice game to play and a perfect way to build sexual tension. But if you’re talking about something casual and he somehow manages to turn that into something sexual, then you have a problem and you can be sure that he has only one thing on his mind—sex.
2. He never talks about his personal life
He doesn’t want to open up to you because he knows he is not going to see you again, so what’s the point. You know absolutely nothing about his family, where he lives, his hobbies, does he have any brothers or sister, what he likes or doesn’t like.
He always switches the subject of your conversation from him to you. This is definitely a huge red flag sign that he doesn’t want to have anything with you except some casual sex, something on the side. He definitely doesn’t want to emotionally attach to you.
3. He only calls you late at night
This is so simple. If he has never taken you on a real date, somewhere nice for a drink or dinner or a walk, I don’t know, pretty much anywhere but 20 feet from your bed, it means that he sees you only as a hookup or even a backup plan. Either way, it’s not anything good.
Don’t let your loneliness or your sexual urges force you to make a mistake and take him in the middle of the night. You may get attached and he won’t which will leave you with nothing more than an excruciating heartbreak.
4. He avoids you in public
If you happen to run into him somewhere public, he will pretend he didn’t see you because he doesn’t want to be seen with you. He only wants to have sex with you and make sure no one knows about it.
While you, on the other hand, want him to meet your friends and family. You want to be seen with him because you mean business and it’s not just a one-time thing for you. So, leave his sorry ass and don’t let him take advantage of you.
5. You never know where he is
You will never know where he goes and when he is coming back. Usually, when a guy likes you, he will keep you updated of his plans and he will text you or call you just because he wants to chat or tell you he misses you.
But, when he only wants a hookup, he will either lie about where he’s been or avoid the topic completely. The point is, you’ll be always kept in the dark.
6. You always start conversations
He just doesn’t care about you to start any kind of communication with you unless it’s just for the purpose of a hookup. So, if he is planning to come over later that night, he will definitely contact you.
Otherwise, in all other scenarios, you are the one who initiates conversations. Either you send him a text or you call him because you want to talk. But he is completely uninterested if he sees your conversation isn’t going in the direction he was hoping for.