“Think once before you act, twice before you speak, and three times before you post on Facebook.” P.C. Brunson
I really don’t live by this quote, except maybe just the part related to Facebook.
I say the first thing that comes to my mind. Sometimes my mouth runs faster than my brain and I say something I definitely shouldn’t.
My friends always say, “You have to learn to count to ten when in these situations,” meaning I have to learn to control myself.
I can’t say the first thing that pops into my mind when I am in the middle of some kind of discussion, because I usually unintentionally hurt the people involved.
Even though I have a big mouth on me, I never mean anybody any harm and people who know me well know that about me.
Now when I think about it I probably am this way because I was hurt too many times.
People used to take advantage of the fact that I was basically a good person, the kind that carries her heart on her sleeve.
I was really losing sleep thinking about why someone would be so mean to me or why someone is treating me like I’m not good enough.
All I knew was that I had to learn to stand up for myself. People hurt me so many times that I guess my reactions were inevitable.
The problem now is that I tend to overreact at times. I think that people have bad intentions even when they don’t.
And that’s something I need to change about myself when I take a step back and look at the whole picture it only drains my energy and brings me stress that I don’t really need.
That’s why I am slowly learning not to act on all the things that bother me.
I am learning that not everything needs my reaction. I am mastering the art of self-control. I am trying to be the bigger person.
It doesn’t mean that I agree with everything people say or do, it just means that I am choosing to rise above it.
To ignore is usually the best cure for any situation. Arguments about some things that are irrelevant are really just a waste of time.
Arguing drains your energy and it doesn’t solve anything; you are trying to make a point, the other person is trying to make theirs and nobody manages to hear anything.
That’s why, sometimes, ignoring the whole situation is the best thing you can do. You actually say a lot when you don’t say anything at all.
I am becoming aware that self-control is the best thing you can master. It’s all about you and within you.
You can’t control what other people say or how they act but you can control yourself.
When you just observe the situation you are in, you learn more than when you are reacting to it.
Not acting is actually the best reaction you can have in an argument.
You will leave people wondering what happened here. There are people who are just waiting for you to act in any way so that they can see that you can be controlled.
That’s why I am refusing to give them control over me.
See also: I Pretend I Am Strong Because I Secretly Hate How Sensitive I Am
I am starting to see that in the end, it’s all about me. I have to be OK with myself. I won’t change anybody’s mind with my reaction.
Everybody will stick to their beliefs no matter what I say. My opinion won’t make them change theirs. It won’t make them treat me better or with greater respect.
That’s why I am learning to stay silent.
I am starting to see that other people’s behavior has more to do with the relationship they have with themselves than the one they have with me.
I don’t have to react to everything that’s getting on my nerves. I don’t have to turn every wrong to right. I have my own opinions and beliefs.
I am willing to listen to those of other people too. Maybe I can learn something. Maybe they can learn something from me if they are willing to listen to me as well.
It’s never about other people – let them go. It’s not about seeking explanations – some things are better left unsaid.
It’s not about who is right or wrong – sometimes there are no rights or wrongs. Sometimes it is what it is and nothing more.
It’s always about being satisfied with yourself. It’s about something priceless like inner peace. It’s about the fact that happiness is a state of mind.
So be happy and remember that sometimes no reaction is the best action you can take.