5 cose orribili che i narcisisti fanno per controllare le loro vittime

Le persone che soffrono di un Disturbo Narcisistico di Personalità non sanno come comportarsi nelle relazioni intime.

Mancano di empatia e comprensione per gli altri e, nel processo di trascurare e manipolare il partner, pensano solo a se stessi.

It’s not that they are incapable of feeling love, they are incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

Il loro amore per se stessi è al di sopra di ogni altra cosa e li spinge a manipolare le loro vittime affinché facciano ciò che vogliono e come lo vogliono.

Being trapped in a narcissist’s grasp can destroy you and it’s almost impossible to break free from it. You are a victim of mind control and manipolazione.

You are being brainwashed and your confidence and self-love are crushed into dust—they don’t exist. That is, in fact, how they keep you under their control.

Vi schiacciano per potervi governare.

They destroy you completely, making you think that you don’t deserve anything else.

Vi fanno pensare che siete fortunati ad averli nella vostra vita perché vi hanno fatto credere che nessuno vi amerà mai, che non siete amabili e che siete completamente orrendi.

So, you hang on to their abusive love because you don’t know any better and you’re scared to let go and start all over again.

When someone keeps feeding you with negativity and claims that you are incapable of living without them, that you are incompetent and actually there is no use to you whatsoever, after some time, you start believing it and when the time comes and you want to leave, you can’t.

You’re scared that you are not going to make it.

Le relazioni narcisistiche sono come le droghe.

L'abuso dura così a lungo che il corpo e la mente si abituano.

If you break free finally, you’ll start craving it in a second. You’ll crave the dose of a narcissist because he managed to emotionally hook you on his evil.

Le relazioni narcisistiche sono umilianti.

He will drag you to the darkest place of your life. You won’t be able to think straight nor will you know what you’re doing. The only thing you will know is that you want it to stop.

You’ll keep praying for the pain to go away and for him to stop, to shut up. You’ll burn inside, but your face will be calm. Cold. Blank.

Le relazioni narcisistiche vi cambiano.

They change who you’ve been. Those people tear you down and crush you from the inside with their abuso narcisistico tattica. 

They rebuild you into the person they want by their side, not you. You are just a casual victim whom they don’t give a shit about.

Your feelings don’t matter to them. You are not a human being. To them, you are a little insignificant nobody.

Questo ti cambia nel profondo. Anche quando vi allontanerete da lui, non sarete più gli stessi.

You will try to bring joy back into your life and in the beginning, it’s going to be excruciating.

You’ll wish you’d never been born. You’ll curse the day you met him.

You’re going to be angry with yourself for letting a narcissistic sociopath ruin your life, ruin you. But, it’s not your fault.

You did nothing wrong, so you can’t blame yourself. You never see them coming.

Sono così subdoli e manipolatori che possono camuffarsi come vogliono. Una volta che lo fanno, una volta che ti fidi di loro, ti intrappolano.

I narcisisti usano tattiche subdole manipolare per fargli fare le cose a modo loro. Ottengono sempre quello che vogliono e in ogni circostanza, e siete voi a pagarne il prezzo.

Proiezione di sentimenti negativi

It’s a defense mechanism to protect themselves.

They will project their negative feelings onto you and they will put the blame on you which will make you feel like crap when instead, it’s them who have to feel that way.

Ma vi manipoleranno facendovi credere che sia stata colpa vostra e che dobbiate sentirvi in colpa per qualcosa che hanno fatto.

In the end, you’ll find yourself apologizing for something you haven’t done. This turns into a serious problem because a narcissist can’t accept he was wrong.

He can’t accept that he is not flawless and that from time to time, he can make a mistake. That’s why he needs you to project his negative feelings, too.

Ha bisogno di sentirsi innocente e ha bisogno che voi vi sentiate in colpa.

He will do this by any means necessary. He’ll be hurtful and cruel because, in the end, he really doesn’t care about you or your feelings at all.

Cambiamento di gioco

He will find something wrong in everything you do. No matter how hard you try, he will ruin it and crap all over everything you’ve done so far.

If you did everything he has asked you to do, and he can’t complain because he has got no reason for saying anything, he will change the rules.

Si rifarà a ciò che ha detto in precedenza e vi proporrà una nuova serie di regole quasi impossibili, solo per farvi fallire e farvi sentire in colpa.

Vi metterà in una situazione in cui lavorerete duramente, in modo che lui possa approvarvi. Purtroppo, voi cercate la sua convalida e la sua approvazione.

Ma le sue continue critiche avranno il loro peso.

L'assillo costante vi lascerà una cicatrice. Vi sentirete ansiosi e depressi perché nulla di ciò che fate sembra essere abbastanza buono.

Your self-esteem falls faster than the speed of light and as it decreases, the chances you’re going to be more submissive to him are bigger.

The thing is by criticizing you all the time, he is diverting you from all the good things you’ve done and making you focus on just the bad ones which makes you feel bad and obsessed with thinking about why can’t you succeed in anything.

Controllo

Cercherà di isolarvi dal resto del mondo perché, che ci crediate o no, ha paura. Ha paura che lei lo lasci, che perda la sua vittima.

He won’t have anybody to drain and that’s what will destroy him. If he doesn’t have anyone to suck the energy from, like an vampiro emotivo, perirà.

Vogliono essere gli unici a poter avere una qualche influenza sulla vostra vita, per potervi controllare.

They will cut you off from your friends and family, so you don’t get the chance to hear the truth or a few words of support and advice.

Apart from the getting you as far away as possible from the people you love, they will try to control where you’re going, with whom you are going, how much money you’re spending and for what.

La vostra vita diventerà fondamentalmente una prigione all'aperto.

Cambiare argomento

When you’ve had enough and if you sober up even for a minute, you’ll see things for what they are. Maybe you’ve just had enough and you want to confront him.

In qualche modo, lei trova tutto il coraggio e la forza per farlo, ma lui cosa fa?

He plays the victim and brings out a completely different subject and punishes you for something that you’ve done 3 months ago.

Questo è ciò che fanno continuamente.

He will blame you or point out a mistake you did a long time ago and it’s not just coincidental.

He’s been keeping that for times just like this, for times when he hasn’t got any other way out but to bring out your past mistakes to make you feel like you’re the abuser and he is the victim.

And of course, he never mentioned it before now. He didn’t mention it three months ago because he knew he was going to need it some other time.

Sarcasmo

Userà scherzi crudeli per ferirvi, ma ovviamente saranno mascherati da scherzi innocui.

Così, se vi arrabbiate, lui vi farà sembrare che state esagerando e che non c'è motivo di arrabbiarsi o di farsi male perché stava solo scherzando.

But the real motive behind it is never to tease you. It’s exactly what you think it is—it’s to hurt you.

He will use a patronizing tone with you to humiliate you even more. He will act like you’re a child, you are incapable of doing things for yourself and you need him to show everything to you.

It’s hard to stay strong and resist everything narcissists are capable of doing to you. They are extremely dangerous and their disease can destroy you if you let it.

Devi essere forte, believe in yourself and believe in what you’re doing because it’s right. Don’t let him mess up your mind because if you surrender, you won’t be able to bounce back so easily.

And even if he broke you, it’s not too late to come back to life. At least you’ll learn a lesson and find out more about yourself. You’ll bring back your self-worth and respect.

You’ll learn to love yourself again because no one can take that away from you forever. They can only make you forget about it—not lose it.