Relazione di 3 mesi: 12 cambiamenti che devono avvenire (e 7 bandiere rosse)

When you first start dating someone, it’s like you entered a whole new magical world that is full of fun and excitement because everything you do, you’re doing it for the first time together!

Mandare un messaggio al vostro nuovo fidanzato o alla vostra nuova fidanzata vi porta così tanta gioia che dovete semplicemente rileggere tutto quello che vi mandano (di solito subito prima di addormentarvi), sognate ad occhi aperti il momento e la loro espressione facciale quando finalmente gli direte quelle tre parole: Ti amo.

Every time you open up to each other about any totally random, little thing, it feels like you’re instantly getting closer and closer and your level of trust significantly deepens.

Ridete di tutte le cose divertenti che sono successe la settimana scorsa o di quelle che vi sono successe la settimana scorsa. primo appuntamentoe ci si lancia in nuove avventure ogni due giorni.

You feel free, rejuvenated, and loved. You feel like anything is possible when you’re together because the world, all of a sudden, doesn’t have limits.

You seek dating advice and relationship advice from everywhere and everyone because you’re so anxious that you’ll fuck things up – and that’s why you landed up here reading this.

No matter which stage of the relationship you’re at right now, use QUESTA GUIDA per evitare di commettere errori.

You were looking for the things that characterize the first three months of a relationship so that you can know where you stand. And you’ve done the right thing!

Vedete, quando si inserisce un nuova relazione, in pratica si inserisce l'opzione fase di luna di miele, which lasts for 90 days – in other words, 3 mesi di frequentazione.

And this phase is critical. It’s at this time when you usually decide whether or not you’re ready for a relazione a lungo termine – whether you’re ready to either take it to the livello successivo o rottura.

Many people start doubting their relationship at the three-month mark, so we could say it’s totally normal for you to feel this way also.

Dopotutto, come si fa a sapere con certezza che quella che avete ora si trasformerà in una relazione sana o in qualcosa di totalmente opposto?

No worries – that’s why I’m here today. The first part consists of a list of changes that are bound to (and should) happen in every 3-month relationship.

La seconda parte riguarda i cambiamenti che potrebbero essere potenziali bandiere rosse a cui prestare particolare attenzione!

Assicuratevi che non ci siano sorprese e imparate tutto quello che c'è da sapere sulla psiche maschile e sulla forza trainante delle sue azioni nelle relazioni: CLICCA QUI.

RELAZIONE DI COPPIA A 3 MESI: 12 CAMBIAMENTI INEVITABILI

La fase di luna di miele inizierà ad affievolirsi

Come già detto sopra, la fase della luna di miele è come entrare in un nuovo mondo magico, pieno di divertimento ed eccitazione, e dura circa tre mesi.

Questa fase crea una tale dipendenza che la maggior parte di noi vuole rimanervi per sempre solo per continuare a provare quella beatitudine.

But, unfortunately, this is not really possible because at some point (usually after three months), the honeymoon phase will begin to fade. But, don’t be mistaken.

This doesn’t mean that your feelings will begin to fade or anything like that.

It means that all that bliss and magic that you’ve felt from the beginning will start turning into something more serious.

When you enter a relationship, it feels like you’ve just been born and everything around you is new, therefore, exciting.

Ma, quando passa un po' di tempo, ci si abitua a tutte queste cose e la magia viene gradualmente meno.

The exact same thing happens to relationships as well, and this is perfectly normal because it means that you’re evolving!

You’ll stop playing dating games and be more relaxed around each other

When you just start dating, you’re overly concerned about basically everything.

You worry that you’re texting them too much, you’re afraid that you’re giving them too many likes on social media, you’re scared that they’ll think you’re playing hard to get, you don’t want to seem needy or pushy, you wait for a specific sequence of things to take place before you decide to take some action.

All of these can be classified as sweet, dating games that every couple goes through. It shows that you like each other a lot and that’s why you’re so anxious about not ruining anything.

But, after three months have passed, you’ll be more relaxed around each other and you won’t think about all those things that much.

You won’t worry about what they will think of you if you send them that specific text message at a specific time, or whatever the case may be. You’ll be stress-free and casual!

You’ll start feeling like you’re ready to say: I love you

Every relationship progresses at its own pace and there isn’t a guide that can tell you when the right time is to say those three words.

For that, you have to follow your heart and listen to your feelings. Usually, people start feeling like they’re ready to say Ti amo dopo tre mesi o più.

After so much time spent together and all the fun you’ve had, you will start feeling those warm sensations telling you that you should profess your love because you’re perfectly ready.

You will often fantasize about saying it and even though you’ll feel like you’re ready, it’s understandable that you may have certain levels of anxiety about saying it, which is totally normal because it’s not something you say every day to someone!

You’ll start using the words “us” and “we”

When you just start dating, it’s you and them. You’re still two separate individuals in the process of uniting.

But, gradually, this changes as well and you start using the words “us” and “we” instead of “you” and “I.”

You start making both big and small future plans like going to a concert, visiting that one special place you’ve talked about, trying certain food, watching an addictive series that’s about to get released…

Iniziate a pensare per entrambi e non solo ai vostri desideri.

Le vostre preferenze e antipatie diventano le loro o si trasformano in un compromesso.

You make sure to plan things in advance because you want to keep spending every second with each other. You take care about each other’s happiness.

And that’s what the right relationship is all about.

Vedi anche: 7 differenze tra una relazione tossica e una sana

Sarete assolutamente d'accordo nel vedervi in edizioni occasionali

All'inizio di ogni nuova relazione, passate 90% del vostro tempo a pensare a come impressionare la vostra persona speciale.

You choose perfect outfits, you never leave your house without shaving beforehand or doing your makeup (if you’re a girl), you take special care of your hairstyle, and so on.

You do all of this because you want everything to be perfect. You like them so much that you just can’t leave anything to chance.

Ma dopo un po' di tempo tutto questo inizierà a cambiare, il che significa che sarete completamente d'accordo nel vedervi in edizioni occasionali.

Vi andrà benissimo vedervi non depilati, non truccati, in pigiama e con i capelli sfibrati.

But, this doesn’t mean that you should get lazy or that you will get lazy.

Avrete ancora voglia di mostrarvi al meglio, ma in modo più disinvolto, il che non ha prezzo!

You’ll be more relaxed around each other’s friends

Meeting each other’s friends for the first time was probably a fun experience, but it came with lots of anxiety as well.

Given that you wanted to leave a good impression, you just couldn’t be 100% relaxed in front of them.

Eravate così preoccupati di piacervi che vi sembrava di essere a un colloquio di lavoro invece che a un incontro.

And that’s another perk of starting a new relationship. But, around three months, this also changes.

You’re naturally more relaxed around each other’s friends. You’re more casual and there are less awkward situations or silent moments.

A questo punto, sapete già molte cose sui loro amici e viceversa e passare il tempo con loro inizia a sentirsi come a casa.

You’ll be more open and start revealing each other’s secrets and embarrassing things

Non importa quanto siate aperti per natura, non potrete mai essere troppo aperti il primo giorno e il primo mese, o i due successivi, perché la costruzione di un clima di fiducia e di un ambiente privo di preoccupazioni, in cui vi sentite abbastanza sicuri e protetti da aprirsi sulle cose richiede tempo.

After you’ve been together for some time, you start being more open about things such as your past love life and your emotions.

You’re more open about literally everything – your secrets, all the embarrassing things that happened in your childhood, and the like.

Vi sentite abbastanza a vostro agio da piangere anche di fronte all'altro quando le vostre emozioni ve lo impongono.

You share all of your fears, talk about things that made you the person you are today, and open up about your life-changing events and people who had the strongest impact on your development –your role models.

And you collect all of this data in your brain’s special compartment, nurture it, and later rewind all of it with a smile on your face.

You won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7

When you’re still at the initial stages of getting to know each other, you spend lots of your time on the phone texting or calling each other.

Your phone becomes the main communication tool because you want to know everything about each other, and for that, you’d need to be together 24/7.

You know that’s quite impossible and that’s when your phone comes in handy.

That’s why you literally become attached to your phone every second of every day, impatiently waiting for them to reply to your text messages, return your missed call, and talk into the small hours until you fall asleep.

But this lasts for the first few months and after that, you won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7 because you’ll rather choose to save some topics for when you’re seeing each other in person.

In questa fase della relazione, la comunicazione oculare diventa lo strumento principale per creare un legame e uno scambio di idee.

You’ll fight a little more often

Poiché ogni nuova relazione ha bisogno di un po' di tempo per progredire e perché due persone inizino ad aprirsi, all'inizio i litigi saranno pochi o nulli.

Why? Because you’re still trying to get to know each other, you don’t know each other’s likes and dislikes, points of view, and true personality.

When you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, there is no space for fights or arguments.

You just absorb everything, connect the dots, and create each other’s profiles in your heads.

E poi, solo dopo un po' di tempo, potreste iniziare a litigare un po' più spesso perché vi sentirete più a vostro agio, rilassati e non avrete paura di dire ciò che intendete veramente.

You’ll open up more and more to each other, and arguments will be just an inevitable part of that process.

Fighting a bit more often, compromising, and accepting each other’s differences are clear signs of every healthy relationship!

Vedi anche: 7 argomentazioni che segnalano l'inizio della fine

You’ll start thinking about meeting each other’s family

Not everyone of us has the same opinion regarding introducing their family to the person they’ve started dating.

Alcuni di noi scelgono di farlo prima, altri lo conservano per dopo. Anche in questo caso, tutto dipende dall'individuo e dalle sue intenzioni.

Usually, after a few months of dating, it comes naturally to the majority of us to start thinking about meeting each other’s family.

You want them to see who the beautiful-inside-and-out person you’re with is and share your joy with them.

Volete unire le vostre famiglie perché sono una parte importante della vostra vita e di ciò che siete oggi.

E volete sentire tutte quelle storie d'infanzia imbarazzanti e quei dettagli succosi che solo i genitori hanno il coraggio di raccontare.

As a matter of fact, parents enjoy retelling every detail from their child’s first steps to when they did something ultimately stupid yet no one could blame them for it because they were just kids.

You’ll spend most of your Friday nights on the couch (without any regrets)

There’s nothing more exciting in the whole world than the first few dates when you just start dating.

You’re full of romantic ideas and you want to visit every place together, which means spending lots of time mostly outside and doing all the fun activities suited to new couples.

Con l'avanzare della fase della luna di miele, cambierà anche il concetto di appuntamento serale.

This means that at one point you’ll start spending most of your Friday nights on the couch watching Netflix and enjoying your favorite foods, without any regrets about not visiting a new exciting place together.

Over time, you’ll become totally casual and enjoy every second of each night spent curled up next to each other while watching your favorite TV shows.

You’ll be honest about who you truly are

After some time spent together (after a few months), you’ll become honest to the core about who you are – about your dislikes and likes, dreams, perspective on different things – and you’ll also know each other’s flaws and quirks.

You won’t pretend that you’re okay with something just because you want to be polite.

You’ll express your concern or discontent in a polite manner when you need to and expect the same from your partner.

You’ll discuss things on a daily basis and learn to compromise when you can’t agree on something.

Essere onesti su chi siete veramente, accettare tutte le vostre stranezze e i vostri difetti ed essere disposti a scendere a compromessi sono la base di ogni relazione sana e di successo in futuro.

RELAZIONE DI 3 MESI: 7 (POTENZIALI) BANDIERE ROSSE

Now that we know all the changes that are bound to happen in a relationship after a few months, it’s time to move to more serious matters.

It’s time to learn about all the (potential) bandiere rosse che potrebbero distruggere ogni relazione (soprattutto quelli nuovi, perché possono facilmente svanire).

Mancanza di messaggi carini e spontanei

While it’s true that after three months, you will no longer feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7, this doesn’t mean that you should stop sending those cute, spontaneous texts that mean so much and can brighten your day.

Questi messaggi sono una parte importante di ogni relazione perché aiutano a mantenere viva la scintilla!

And if you notice that, as time progresses, you’re less likely to send each other those cute texts or retell something funny that happened to you at work, you know that you’re subconsciously killing your relationship or preventing it from turning into something more serious.

Non ci sorprendiamo più l'un l'altro con piccole cose

Every dating or relationship coach will tell you the exact same thing: It’s all in the little things. And, indeed, it is.

Mantenere una relazione significa sforzarsi di sorprendere ancora l'altro con tutte quelle piccole cose che significano tanto.

E se a un certo punto smettete di farlo, la vostra relazione inizierà a perdere gradualmente il suo fascino iniziale e diventerà senza amore.

Non si organizzano più cose divertenti da fare insieme

Proprio come i messaggi spontanei e le sorprese reciproche, pianificare cose divertenti è un altro aspetto importante di una relazione sana e duratura.

It’s something that keeps your passion alive and should be an essential part of your everyday lives.

While watching Netflix and chilling on a Friday night is something you should definitely do, still this shouldn’t be the only thing that you do when you’re together.

It’s important to bring some variety into your relationship – variety means excitement.

Non essere in grado di essere autentici l'uno con l'altro

Questa è probabilmente una delle più grandi bandiere rosse che indicano che la vostra relazione di 3 mesi non durerà a lungo.

If you’re still not feel at ease telling each other secrets, opening up, and being who you really are in front of each other, then you know there’s something just not right – something unsaid that will keep creating a huge gap between the two of you.

And if you’re not comfortable enough to be with each other, even after you’ve spent lots of time together, then you know you shouldn’t take this fact for granted.

Non fare piani per il futuro

Un'altra potenziale bandiera rossa che potrebbe emergere in una relazione di 3 mesi è la mancanza di conversazione sui piani futuri.

Those partners who talk about their hopes, dreams, and future plans together are basically telling each other that they want to stay in each other’s lives and make sure to include their partner in their every future activity and life-changing event.

Se la vostra relazione manca di questo aspetto, dovreste chiedervi seriamente se siete sulla strada giusta o se dovreste cambiare corsia.

Vedi anche: If You Can’t Talk To Him About These 5 Things, Your Relationship Has No Future

Non fare della propria relazione una priorità

There’s a huge difference between making your relationship the ONLY priority and making your relationship a priority.

You should never make your relationship your only priority – it’s unhealthy for the both of you – but you should definitely treat it as a major priority.

This includes constant effort, surprising each other, not making excuses for why you haven’t showed up on a date, and the like.

Comporta fiducia, rispetto reciproco, apprezzamento e lotta per ciò che si ha.

If there’s none of this, then you know your relationship won’t last.

Non poter contare l'uno sull'altro

Le relazioni non sono fatte solo di appuntamenti divertenti, Netflix e chill. Si tratta anche di sostenersi a vicenda e di poter contare l'uno sull'altro.

If you can’t trust your partner to the extent of sharing everything with them, then it’s time to question your relationship.

If you can’t rely on your partner when something bad happens to you or you’re feeling off, then it’s time to question your relationship.

If you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work, then you should definitely question your relationship.

Ricordate che bisogna essere in due per ballare il tango!

If your partner is not willing to invest in your relationship and fight for it, then there’s nothing you can do on your own.

Solo il rispetto reciproco, l'apprezzamento e lo sforzo sono in grado di resistere anche alle condizioni peggiori.

Solo il vero amore è in grado di vivere per sempre senza perdere il suo fascino iniziale! E il vero amore richiede sacrifici.

Vedi anche: 8 regole da seguire assolutamente se si vuole rimanere in una relazione a lungo termine