Come concentrarsi su se stessi senza sentirsi in colpa (20 semplici passi)

Due to recent events in my life, I’ve realized the importance of learning how to focus on yourself.

Don’t get me wrong. Prioritizing salute mentale e l'amore per se stessi è sempre stato un mio grande obiettivo. Si ha solo un grande controllo sulla propria vita, quindi concentrarsi sul proprio benessere e sulla pace interiore è il minimo che si possa fare.

Navigare in questi tempi difficili lavorando sul miglioramento di sé, preservando la propria autostima, essendo un raggio di positività e dormendo a sufficienza è molto.

Don’t beat yourself up if self-care hasn’t been at the forefront of your specific goals lately. But do ensure that you start taking self-reflection seriously and take time to figure out how to lead a better life.

Take it from me. For so long, I let life just happen. I wasn’t as proactive as I should’ve been, which resulted in suffering in silence and watching my life become insufferable. Queste cose non si vedono mai arrivare.

I let shitty people get away with their BS, I never asked for help as I don’t like to burden people with my issues, and I never stood up for myself. Doing this created a real mess in my head (and life).

I’m not at fault for the bad stuff that happened (nor are you), but I’m definitely at fault for not doing anything about it.

Now, I’ve done a whole 180. I’ve changed my entire outlook and decided that it’s time to get out of my comfort zone.

It’s super easy to let negative thoughts overwhelm you and spend time feeling sorry for yourself. When life knocks you down, it doesn’t take prisoners. What else can you do other than wallow in misery, right?

A quanto pare, un bel po'.

Volete sapere come ho iniziato, lentamente ma inesorabilmente, a dare una svolta alla mia vita? Spero che la vostra risposta sia affermativa, perché questi semplici consigli su come concentrarsi su se stessi mi hanno davvero messo le cose in prospettiva.

Se volete cambiare la vostra vita, iniziate con poco e fatevi strada. Ma prima, rispondete a questa domanda:

• Have you recently been through a traumatic breakup, and you’re unsure how to regain your identity?

• Perhaps you’ve been in a long-term relationship for ages, and you’re starting to lose your sense of self?

• Or are you a people-pleaser who always puts others’ needs first, and you’re adamant to change your life?

Congrats on finally prioritizing your wellness. Not many people feel comfortable taking that (much-needed) step, but once they do, there’s no going back, which is something you’re about to see for yourself.

Learning how to focus on myself has been life-changing, and the thing is, it’s so simple. I promise your life will start changing from the ground up.

Concentratevi sulla vostra vita invece di chiedervi cosa pensano gli altri di voi. Abbandonate i social media e godetevi la vita reale. Che altro?

You’re going to have to keep reading to find that out.

Vedi anche: 13 modi per amare se stessi dopo essersi liberati da una relazione tossica

Una guida su come concentrarsi su se stessi e non sugli altri

It’s normal to get wrapped up in work, errands, and life. Taking care of yourself may even seem self-indulgent at times. But the only way to achieve success is by starting from within, and this is how you do it:

Immaginate il vostro futuro ideale e vivete la vita da quel punto di vista.

Questo è forse uno dei modi più semplici per motivarsi a perseguire ciò che ci rende felici.

Immaginate semplicemente una versione più vecchia di voi stessi e vedete cosa rende felice quella persona. Dove vi vedete tra dieci anni? Che cosa state facendo? Di chi siete circondati?

Queste risposte vi aiuteranno a vedere chiaramente cosa dovete fare ORA se volete che il vostro futuro abbia un certo aspetto.

Praticate l'amore per voi stessi e siate buoni con voi stessi.

Di cosa avete bisogno VOI? Non la famiglia, gli amici o i colleghi. Quali sono i vostri bisogni in questo preciso momento?

Siete felici? Se non lo siete, cosa state facendo per cambiare la situazione? Le cose non miglioreranno mai se continuate a stare seduti, ignorando i vostri desideri e le vostre esigenze.

Love and nurture yourself. Don’t let anyone shatter your self-esteem. If there’s anyone out there who doesn’t support your personal development journey, lose their number.

You don’t need anyone who’s actively counter-productive to your happiness. You know better than that.

Trovate il vostro punto di partenza e partite da lì.

Career, personal life, bettering your relationships with family… Which area of your life needs the most work?

This will be the best jumping-off point that’ll clear your vision and set you in the right direction. You can’t change your life from the ground up overnight.

Ci vuole tempo, pazienza e perseveranza. Per questo motivo suggerisco vivamente di concentrarsi su una particolare area della propria vita che si ritiene possa essere migliorata.

Once you’ve successfully managed that, you’ll feel more motivated to keep going – plus, it won’t feel like a chore.

Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Nothing ever grows in the comfort zone. While it might feel reassuring and familiar, it’ll never allow you to push yourself.

Try new things. Do stuff that scares you. This is all about focusing on yourself, right? So, ask yourself what you truly want to do and where you want to be. Don’t be scared if the answers are daunting.

Correre dei rischi è il modo più sicuro per reinventarsi e vedere quanto si è agguerriti, capaci e pieni di risorse. After all, you only have one life. Don’t you want to use it wisely?

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Fate spesso il check-in con voi stessi.

Volete sapere come concentrarvi su voi stessi e non sugli altri, giusto? La chiave è il controllo regolare di se stessi.

Fermatevi e prendetevi un secondo per respirare. Quando tutto diventa troppo, fate una pausa e concedetevi un po' di respiro.

You’re not a robot, nor should you be at anyone’s beck and call 24/7.

You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. It’s up to you which one you choose.

Trascorrere del tempo con le persone più care.

Non sottolineerò mai abbastanza quanto sia importante trascorrere del tempo con la propria famiglia. Sono gli unici che possono aiutarvi a centrarvi e a incoraggiare la crescita di voi stessi come meritate.

Recently, I’ve been going through some difficult stuff, so I decided to visit my family. Sort of like an extended stay to find my inner peace again.

You wouldn’t believe how therapeutic this has been for me and my mental health. Essere circondati dai propri cari, così come rinunciare alle social media per un po', fa miracoli per la mente.

Never underestimate the healing power of a loved one. Their mere presence makes all the difference, which is as astonishing as it’s needed.

Avete provato a scrivere un diario?

Per quanto riguarda il raggiungimento dei vostri obiettivi specifici, tenere un diario vi permetterà di mantenere una rotta costante e di motivarvi.

Come? Semplice. Writing your goals down will give you a sense of accountability, and you’ll be less inclined to go off course, as it’ll become somewhat of a habit.

Scrivere un diario è il modo più sicuro per valutare i propri progressi e rimanere a galla quando si incontra un ostacolo.

I know, I know, it may appear so third-grade, right? But let me assure you, it’s anything but. It’s the best way to reflect on your journey, stay true to your dreams, and see where you stand.

If more people resorted to this simple strategy, the world would be a much less messed-up place, don’t you think?

Vedi anche: Quando è necessario tagliare i ponti con le persone? ( + 7 consigli per farlo)

Imparare a concentrarsi su se stessi dopo una rottura

Breakups are the worst. The time spent together, butterflies in your stomach, sweet messages, and having your person – gone. Just like that. How do you ever get better? These might help.

Grieving takes time; don’t rush the process.

You can’t expect to feel better overnight. Just like with any other loss, losing the one you love takes a lot of getting used to.

Siete improvvisamente costretti a trovare una nuova routine e a fare pace con il fatto che avete appena perso il vostro go-to.

Chi vi ascolterà piangere alle 2 del mattino? Chi vi terrà la mano quando riceverete brutte notizie dal lavoro?

Yeah. Breakups suck. So, don’t rush the processo di guarigione. Take as much time as you need, and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll find your joy again. You always do.

Feel your feelings but don’t let them consume you.

Finding the right balance is a challenge; I’ll give you that.

You can’t deny yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, but at the same time, how do you not let it consume you?

I can’t say what exactly will work for you, but I can say what worked for me. Usually, I let myself cry for a bit while listening to Coldplay (no judging).

Ma nel momento in cui comincio a sentire il fiato corto e i pensieri negativi si insinuano nella mia testa, decido di scrollarmeli di dosso.

Chiamo mia sorella o mia madre, oppure porto a spasso il cane. L'aria fresca mi aiuta a mettere le cose in prospettiva e ricomincio a sentirmi me stessa. Il segreto è agire tempestivamente.

There’s no point in crying over spilled milk (this is not your fault).

It happened. It’s over. And guess what? It wasn’t entirely your fault. It takes two to tango. No matter what your toxic partner implies, you’re not the sole reason for the break-up.

It’s one thing to be in touch with your emotions, but it’s a whole other thing to keep blaming yourself with no purpose. It’s not like you woke up one day and decided to fall out of love (or vice versa).

There’s a whole culmination of events that precedes such a decision. Things build-up over time, and one day, it happens.

No one person is to blame (with exceptions, of course). Don’t cry over spilled milk. Life goes on, and there’s so much life left for you to experience. This breakup doesn’t define the rest of your life.

Tagliate ogni contatto con la fonte del vostro dolore.

Yup, I’m telling you to seguire la regola del non contatto. That’s the fastest way to heal. While I do believe that staying amici del tuo ex è possibile, ma ci vuole tempo per arrivare a quel punto.

You’re nowhere near ready for that. Distance yourself from the one who caused you pain and delete their number.

Stare vicino al tuo ex in questo momento non farà altro che prolungare la tua sofferenza e rendere impossibile concentrarti su te stesso. It isn’t healthy, it’ll prevent you from moving on, and you’ll most likely end up in bed together.

I don’t even have to explain how excruciating having to begin the healing process all over again would be, do I?

Vedi anche: Regola del non contatto: Il potere del silenzio dopo una rottura

Scegliete di vedere tutto questo come una benedizione sotto mentite spoglie.

Right now, it seems like the end of the world, but soon, you’ll see this for what it is – a blessing in disguise.

Chiaramente, eravate in un relazione disfunzionale; otherwise, you would still be together. There’s a reason you broke up, right?

That reason will become more and more clear as time goes on. When you start finding yourself again, you’ll see how much better things are and how much happier you feel.

If you’re still not in that place, I promise, that day will come, and so much weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

Trovate nuovi hobby e concentratevi sui vostri obiettivi.

First and foremost, make more time for the people you love most. Secondly, pursue new hobbies that’ll help you feel better about yourself, and lastly, start making plans for your future.

Viaggiare in un posto nuovo. Avventurarsi in un'avventura con i tuoi migliori amici. Apply for that job you’ve been eyeing for ages. Listen to podcasts that’ll help you on your new journey.

Sì, siete stati con il vostro ex per qualche anno. Ma cosa sono quei tre anni rispetto alla vita che hai davanti?

Ecco come concentrarsi su se stessi durante una relazione

Being in a healthy relationship is awesome. But sometimes, your individuality gets lost in the ‘coupledom.’ You focus less on your needs and more on the esigenze di relazione.

This begs the question: How do you avoid losing yourself when part of a couple? Here’s how:

Trascorrere regolarmente del tempo di qualità con se stessi.

Carve out some ‘me time’ as much as you can. It’s not selfish, self-indulgent, or embarrassing – quite the contrary.

It’s essential to spend time alone with yourself and your thoughts, as it’s the only way to see how you feel and whether you’re happy.

Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. You can have a fantastic group of people who love you and still relish ‘me time.’

Collegatevi con i vostri amici di prima della relazione.

Remember those friends you were so close with before you got together with your partner? Hit them up, especially if it’s been a while. Genuine friends are so precious.

While it’s somewhat expected to be focused on your relationship while it’s in the beginning stages, after a while, things should go back to how they were.

Call up your pre-relationship friends, reconnect, and don’t neglect them anymore. These are the people you’ll always come back to when life knocks you down.

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Have a hobby that’s just your own.

Have something that’s just your own. Whether it’s dancing, karate, joining a choir, or cooking, as long as it’s something you’ll do for yourself, it works.

While being in a relationship is amazing and fulfilling, it’s also important to stay true to who you are. Follow your passions and do stuff that makes your heart happy.

Not only will this help you be your happiest self, but it’ll also make you a much better partner to your significant other.

Trovate un po' di tempo per fare esercizio.

Not only is exercise healthy in the sense that it can reduce the risk of developing many diseases, but it’s also a fantastic way to let off steam when you need it most.

Have I mentioned that it’s also guaranteed to improve the quality of your life?

I understand that life can get insanely crazy, and it’s hard to carve out enough time to go to the gym. That’s what Youtube is for!

Trovate i video di allenamento che vanno bene per VOI e fate le vostre cose nel comfort del vostro salotto.

Don’t let your goals get lost by living your ‘couple goals.’

While there’s a whole list of ‘obiettivi di coppia‘ that I’m sure you and your bae check off the list, it’s also important to not let your own goals disappear from sight.

Just because you’re in a happy, fulfilled relationship, doesn’t mean your ambition and drive stopped being important.

Keep pursuing your dreams. Don’t settle for just being content. Reach for the stars and do what you need to achieve complete personal fulfillment. It’s not that crazy, you know?

You deserve it, and it’ll only make your relationship that much stronger. Your needs are just as important as your partner’s. Remember that, and you’re golden.

Vedi anche: I 12 migliori motivi per cui una vita privata è una vita felice

Comunicare al partner le proprie esigenze e i propri desideri.

Vi state chiedendo come concentrarvi su voi stessi in una relazione, pur rimanendo attenti al vostro partner e alle sue esigenze? COMUNICARE.

If you’re not happy about something, speak your mind. If you’re hurt by their actions, express your dissatisfaction. If you don’t, it’ll keep eating away at you bit by bit.

La comunicazione è uno strumento necessario per creare o distruggere una relazione. Saper comunicare in modo efficace è una delle abilità più importanti della vita.

Ha il potere di creare un cuneo insormontabile tra voi o di avvicinarvi come non mai.

E a volte è necessario sciogliere i capelli.

If your life has been a mess, or if you’ve been too preoccupied with your partner’s needs, it’s time to let loose.

Chiamate la vostra squadra e colorate la città di rosso. Andate a fare una serata fuori, una fantastica serata in casa o un'avventura improvvisata. Qualunque sia la vostra barca!

Imparare a concentrarsi su se stessi in una relazione significa fare le cose che si facevano quando si era single. Cosa vi ha fatto felice allora probabilmente ti rende felice ora.

You’ve just neglected your needs for a bit. That’s okay, though. It’s never too late to do more stuff that makes you happy. There’s no time like the present!

Vedi anche: 30 giorni di sfida all'amore per se stessi: diventare la versione migliore di se stessi

La felicità è una scelta.

By now, you must’ve realized how vital it is to learn how to focus on yourself. Just do whatever makes your heart sing!

If you don’t like the people you hang out with, change your social circle. If you’ve started to lose yourself in your relationship, do all the fun things you enjoyed while you were ancora single.

Oh, and if you’re still reeling from your bad breakup (all the while blaming yourself for how it unfolded), STOP. As heartbreaking as it is, breakups happen, and life goes on.

It’s going to suck for a while, but it doesn’t mean that you should let it consume you.

So che crogiolarsi nell'infelicità è la cosa più facile da fare. Ma per rialzarsi, scegliere di fare qualcosa e permettere a se stessi di sentirsi di nuovo felici ci vuole coraggio.

Decide today that you’re going to grab life by the horns and do whatever the heck you want. Who can tell you otherwise?

You create your path to happiness – if you can believe it, you can most definitely achieve it. And if I didn’t convince you, perhaps Abe Lincoln will:

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Vedi anche: Quando inizierete a credere in voi stessi, accadranno queste 7 cose