Ti ho dato più di quanto meritassi, ora è il momento di mettere me stesso al primo posto

Come hai potuto non vedere quanto mi stavo impegnando per te? Come hai potuto rimanere indifferente alle cose che facevo per te? Come hai potuto mettermi all'ultimo posto quando tutto ciò che ho fatto è stato metterti al primo posto?

Come hai potuto non vedere che eri tutto ciò che volevo?

For so long I was dying just to make you happy. Now when I look back I see that there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t have done, a thing I didn’t do, just to make you satisfied.

Sono sempre stato presente per te.

I was your 2am and your 2pm call. I was the one who’d always answer your calls even if you ignored all of mine, I was always the one to respond immediately to your text even if you left me on read.

Tu sei sempre stato il primo, prima di me, prima di chiunque altro.

It was always about what you needed. Other people’s needs were never relevant. You expected me to show up each time you needed me and, as silly as I was, I would drop everything and run to save you. What mattered was that you were okay, I’d make things work for me eventually, as long as you were happy.

Per tanto tempo mi sono dato fuoco solo per tenerti al caldo.

I neglected myself, my needs, I was an emotional wreck and I still gave you pieces of myself so you’d be whole.

Si dice che il modo in cui si tratta se stessi stabilisce lo standard per gli altri. E io ho chiarito che tu venivi prima di tutto, anche a costo della mia vita. Dio, ero così innamorata di te, ero così accecata dai miei sentimenti che mi sembrava che tutto il mio mondo girasse intorno a una sola persona e quella persona eri tu.

Regardless of how many times you left, I’d always take you back with my arms wide-spread. Regardless of how much you hurt me, I’d always find a way to justify your actions. Regardless of how broken I was, I always found the strength to fight for you and save you. But only this far.

Mi sono stancato. Mi sono stancato. Ho finito per rimanere a mani vuote. Ti ho dato letteralmente tutto me stesso finché non mi è rimasto nulla.

This torture went on and on. This is exactly what happens to the good girls who don’t pay attention to whom they give their heart. They get broken. I got broken.

I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend I’m fine when the love that should build me up just tears me down. I can’t keep giving myself to you and investing in us while, on the other side of the table, you do nothing. This isn’t how these things work.

I just want to be able to fall asleep when I close my eyes. I want all this to be a nightmare and when I wake up, I’ll wake up in a world where you love me back. I’ll wake up in a world where I’m not in love with the most selfish man in this world, I’ll wake up in a world in which my efforts will be seen, where I’ll be cherished and put first for a change. But I know I’m wide awake. I know that I need to stop dreaming that you’ll change and that my love will make you want to be a better man. You are who you are. That ship had sailed a long time ago.

You know, after a few days (perhaps even weeks) of radio silence and me ignoring my friend’s calls and messages, she showed up at my door and almost crushed it by banging on it. When I finally opened it, she asked me just one question: How long are you going to do this to yourself?

Una semplice domanda e so che c'erano tante altre domande nascoste. How long will I keep putting others first? How long will I keep falling for people I know I shouldn’t? How long will I keep treating others better than I treat myself? How long will I continue giving everything when I know I am not gonna get anything in return? How long will I let others keep breaking me over and over again?

She said: “You can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” And so I say enough is enough.

I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep giving my life and my best days to people who don’t appreciate it.

Ti ho dato più di quanto meritassi and even that couldn’t make you feel grateful. Even that couldn’t make you want to be a better man. You don’t do good things, you’re addicted to pain and I’m finally ready to throw in the towel. The time has come for me to turn the tables and be selfish for a change.

È arrivato il momento di mettere me stesso al primo posto. Say what you like but now I know it’s not selfishness, it’s a necessity. I need to cut toxic people and parasites out of my life. I need to stop bending over backward for people who wouldn’t lift a finger for me. I need to stop being there for people who are never there for me. It’s time for me to leave you di occuparti dei tuoi casini e di salvare me stesso.

Someone will do for me as much as I did for you. Someone will love me so unconditionally and so effortlessly like I loved you. Someone will appreciate everything I do for him. It’s time to admit that someone is not you and that I’ve just been wasting my time with you.

From now on, I’m done chasing love. I’m determined to love myself when you’re obviously not willing to do that. It’s time to admit you aren’t ready to take my hand, it’s time to put my hands in my pockets and continue walking on my own. It’s time to put myself first and stop feeling guilty for doing what’s best for me. And the best thing I can do now is walk away from you.