11 segni inequivocabili di problemi di fiducia e come superarli

Avere problemi di fiducia è comune, anche in relazioni sane. Il fatto è che non molte persone sono disposte ad ammettere di averle.

Cosa caratterizza i problemi di fiducia? Una totale mancanza di fiducia negli altri, la costante attesa di un qualche tipo di tradimento e una malsana paura dell'abbandono.

L'inaffidabilità è comune nelle relazioni sentimentali (a causa di esperienze passate negative), ma anche con i familiari e con chiunque incroci la vostra strada.

Numerous factors play a role in your lack of ability to build trust. Sometimes, it’s due to a relazione tossica che ha portato a un grave tradimento della fiducia, che vi rende sospettosi nei confronti del vostro attuale partner.

Questo, a sua volta, influisce negativamente sulla vostra attuale relazione, poiché ricostruire la fiducia non vi viene più naturale.

Se una persona cara vi ha tradito in passato, potreste creare un meccanismo di difesa per evitare di essere feriti di nuovo.

If any of this rings a bell, and you’re having a hard time figuring out the root of your issues, keep reading.

The signs below will help you figure out why you can’t seem to trust others and how to stop letting this affect your new relationship.

Vedi anche: Fidatevi di me, siete esattamente dove dovete essere in questo momento

Ho problemi di fiducia? Scopri i segni più comuni

Has a toxic loved one affected your mental health so much that building trust feels impossible? There’s only one way to find out…

Prevedete una violazione della fiducia senza avere un motivo per farlo.

Ho problemi di fiducia se riesco a trovare qualcosa di sbagliato nelle situazioni più innocenti? Senza ombra di dubbio.

La vostra mancanza di fiducia si manifesta nell'incapacità di rilassare la mente e di godere di un legame autentico. Molto probabilmente vi tenete chiusi in tutte le vostre relazioni (romantiche e platoniche).

Dopo tutto, questo è il vostro meccanismo di difesa al meglio. Continuate a ripetervi che se rimanete sempre all'erta, nessun tradimento vi sfuggirà.

Ma quello che non riuscite a capire è che proprio questo vi fa tradire voi stessi e le vostre possibilità di essere felici.

Si evita di impegnarsi quando si tratta di relazioni intime

It’s not that you’re hesitant to enter a romantic relationship. You’ve probably done okay on that front, but only on the surface.

While you keep telling yourself that your current relationship is on the right track, deep down, you know you’re not fully invested. Not emotionally, anyway.

Avete sviluppato un grave caso di fobia dell'impegno that you keep justifying to yourself. But the thing is, I don’t think you believe your reasonings at all anymore.

It’s just something you want to believe so that you can keep entering shallow relationships and avoid the risks that come with a deeper relationship.

Non vi aprite mai veramente a nessuno

You never let anyone know the real you. When’s the last time you shared your fears and insecurities with a loved one?

My guess is it’s been a while. I understand, though. Your trust issues have to stem from somewhere. Whoever caused you to be this untrusting must’ve done a real number on you.

Questo vi ha spinto a non permettere a nessuno di avvicinarsi tanto da sfondare le vostre mura. Questo è il motivo per cui avete problemi di impegno. But did you know that this isn’t healthy for your mental health?

You can’t keep going through life not sharing anything with anyone. One day, you’ll realize the severe consequence of this unhealthy lifestyle.

Vedi anche: Una ragazza con problemi di fiducia ti prega di non fare queste 12 cose

La maggior parte delle vostre relazioni sono volatili

Every new relationship you enter fizzles out due to its draining nature. You either pick someone who’s not on your wavelength, or you go for the unattainable type.

Either way, it’s volatile and unhealthy. There is no peace, harmony, or understanding that a healthy relationship should have.

Ci sono tonnellate di problemi di fiducia, discussioni folli e appassionate, e probabilmente vi fate perdonare tutto in camera da letto.

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say that your steamy sessions are the only thing keeping you with your current partner. Because, if there’s no trust, what is the relationship based on?

Ci si arrabbia in modo irragionevole per un errore onesto.

Si blocca su cose che altri avrebbero semplicemente scrollato e lasciato andare. La vostra tolleranza per gli errori (o per qualsiasi tipo di tradimento, per quanto piccolo) è pari a zero.

This is what makes it so daunting to be in a relationship with you. Disappointing you is not an option, and when your partner or anyone close to you makes a tiny mistake, they know you’ll go off on them.

Questo è un chiaro segno di problemi di fiducia. Nel momento in cui qualcuno a cui tenete fa involontariamente qualcosa di un po' sconvolgente, lo prendete troppo sul serio per paura che porti a qualcosa di ancora peggiore.

Most of your friendships aren’t very deep

This is difficult to admit to yourself, but it’s necessary if you’re eager for things to change. You know a lot of people, but you’re not too close to many of them.

You get coffee, go on an occasional night out, and text now and again. But when it comes to a genuine connection and being able to call them at 2 a.m. during an emergency, it’s a no-go.

That’s what profondi problemi di fiducia vi fanno male. Rendono impossibile avere un gruppo solido di persone che si possano chiamare amici intimi.

Diffidate di ogni nuova persona che incontrate.

Ogni volta che una nuova persona entra nella vostra vita, vi viene voglia di sfogliare le sue piattaforme di social media per vedere i suoi affari.

Mantenete una sana distanza, anche se non ne avete motivo, e non vi permettete mai di parlare troppo della vostra vita. Anche se si tratta di un amico di un amico, la guardia è sempre alta.

If you’re honest with yourself, you can see how messed up this is, but you just can’t help it. You’d love nothing more than to trust others with more ease, but no such luck.

Questo, a sua volta, ha iniziato a creare un cuneo tra voi e i vostri cari che sta diventando sempre più difficile da superare.

I vostri cari vi considerano impossibili da accontentare

Be honest, have your loved ones ever confronted you with your inability to trust and how it’s affecting your relationships?

Have you ever been told that you’re virtually impossible to please and how annoying it’s becoming? And have you ever taken the time to consider what they’re saying?

Regardless of the cause of your distrustfulness, when it starts messing with your most precious relationships, it’s time to start doing something about it.

If you don’t, every relationship you hold dear will soon start to unravel.

Vedi anche: Mi dispiace se i miei pensieri eccessivi mi rendono difficile da amare

You’ve started to feel like an outcast

Non sorprende che tutto questo abbia iniziato a farvi sentire estranei alle persone.

Slowly but surely, you’ve stopped getting invited anywhere, and you feel yourself slipping away from the few people you felt close to.

You never thought you’d say this, but you’re starting to feel like an outcast. Not just from your friends, but your family too.

While this is not something anyone should ever go through, you have to be aware that it’s self-inflicted. When you keep letting your trust issues taint your relationships, what can you expect?

Avete difficoltà a perdonare e a lasciar perdere

If you experience a betrayal of trust, you don’t ask questions. You write them off from your life. There’s no talking to you.

If someone’s not perfect and without faults, they don’t deserve a place in your life. That’s what you tell yourself.

Forgiving is not something you’re accustomed to. Letting go of things is even more challenging. Even if you tried, you’d just keep replaying that one slip-up in your head over and over.

You know that relationships are far from perfect, and that being able to forgive is vital. But for some reason, you just can’t.

You’re distrustful of people in general

Regardless of whether it’s a close friend, family member, or a romantic partner, you double-check everything you’re told.

You’re not sure where this need has come from, but you take everything you hear with a pinch of salt.

Non sorprende che questa sia una caratteristica della maggior parte delle persone con problemi di fiducia. La loro autostima è fortemente compromessa, poiché le esperienze di vita e le relazioni passate li hanno resi così.

L'affidabilità va guadagnata, e finora vi sembra che nessuno si sia guadagnato la vostra. But here’s the deal. If you want to create meaningful relationships, you have to start working on rebuilding your self-esteem.

Some of the reasons why you cannot build trust with anyone are legit. But sometimes, it’s all in your head.
Se una persona vi ha dato zero motivi per dubitare delle sue intenzioni, perché sottoporsi a una simile prova?

Vedi anche: 8 modi per rimettersi in piedi dopo le delusioni delle persone

Come superare i problemi di fiducia in 5 semplici passi

In questo modo si può lentamente ma inesorabilmente ricominciare a costruire la fiducia con le persone. Non succede nulla dall'oggi al domani, ma con un po' di impegno le cose possono cambiare in meglio.

Accept that sometimes, you’ll be let down (and you’ll survive)

In case you haven’t heard, nobody’s perfect. Therefore, expecting everyone around you never to do anything wrong is naive.

What I want you to do is try to accept the fact that, yeah, people will disappoint you sometimes. It’s going to suck, but guess what? It happens to all of us, and we all get through it. So will you.

When you start seeing life for what it is, as opposed to what your preconceived notions keep telling you, you’ll be able to form genuine bonds with people.

You’ll start seeing that just because your partner messed up one time doesn’t mean they don’t have your best interest at heart.

Se il vostro migliore amico had to flake on you due to an emergency, that doesn’t make them a bad person.
Significa solo che la vita si è messa in mezzo. Le cose accadono, le affrontiamo e poi semplicemente andiamo avanti. Provate!

Vedi anche: Il significato di "Nessuna aspettativa, nessuna delusione" (+ citazioni)

Permettete a voi stessi di essere vulnerabili e di correre rischi emotivi.

We all struggle sometimes. Heck, even Drake wrote a song about the very topic of this article. Check out his ‘Trust Issues’ lyrics, and you’ll see that not even global superstars are immune to being distrustful.

I’m saying this to help you realize that without putting yourself out there, you’ll never be truly at peace. Be vulnerable. Allow someone to break your heart (all the while, hoping that they won’t).

We all take risks every single time we give our hearts away. There’s no way around it. So take a leap of faith and let your guard down. Be emotionally invested and experience true connection.

Don’t you think it’s high time to start letting go of the burdens of your past?

Don’t give out trust freely – people have to earn it

Drake’s ‘Trust Issues’ aside, this is something you surely understand. Giving your trust away just like that is not an option.

If someone wants to be in your inner circle, they’ll have to earn it. But, this doesn’t mean you should be cold and distant. Just because you’re unsure of someone’s trustworthiness doesn’t mean you need to ice them out.

Be friendly and cordial, especially when meeting new people. You don’t have to relay the story of your life to them.

Che cosa può Ma non dobbiamo dimenticare di fare uno sforzo per conoscerli, concedere loro il beneficio del dubbio e vedere come si evolve la situazione!

Determinate la radice della vostra sfiducia e affrontatela.

It’s time to see where your trust issues come from. Has your past relationship made you wary of trusting someone new?

Avete sperimentato un trauma da tradimento within your family that you still haven’t gotten over? Whatever it was, face it head-on!

The longer you suppress it, the worse you’re going to be mental health-wise. Perhaps il tempo della vostra vita is giving you a unique opportunity‚7  for a clean slate.

All you have to do is think back to your past issues and face your demons. It sounds scary, but actually, it’s so cathartic!

Imparate dal vostro passato, ma smettetela di lasciarvi frenare da esso.

Quando imparate a superare i problemi di fiducia, potete lasciare che le vostre esperienze passate siano un vostro alleato. Come? Semplice! Riconoscendo ciò che è accaduto e rifiutando di lasciare che esso plasmi il vostro presente.

Don’t be the victim of your past. Don’t let it prevent you from enjoying what life has to offer. Whether you were traditoabbandonato o manipolato emotivamente, porre fine alla tortura che rimane nella vostra testa.

Imparate dalle sfortune delle vostre esperienze di vita e non permettete mai più che esse ostacolino la vostra crescita emotiva.

Understand that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit, and start taking risks in life. Your lack of trust is suppressing you in more ways than one. Stop letting it!

Vedi anche: Citazioni sulla fiducia infranta: 80 Citazioni sul tradimento e sui problemi di fiducia

Citazioni sulla fiducia che aprono gli occhi

1. “‘Sorry’ works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting and trusting again is sometimes impossible.” – Unknown

2. “Not everyone can be trusted. I think we all have to be very selective about the people we trust.” – Shelley Long

3. “Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over, but it’s never going to be the same again.” – Unknown

4. “Sometimes, the people that love you the most turn out to be the people you will trust the least.” – Shannon L. Alder

5. ”The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway

6. “Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence.” – Unknown

7. “If you have three people in your life that you can trust, you can consider yourself the luckiest person in the whole world.” – Selena Gomez

8. ”Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” – Albert Einstein

9. “Trust is hard to come by. That’s why my circle is small and tight. I’m kind of funny about making new friends.” – Eminem

10. “Sometimes, you don’t know who you can and cannot trust. I still learn that over and over again.” – Demi Lovato

11. “You can’t trust a promise someone makes while they’re drunk, in love, hungry, or running for office.” – Joe Moore

12. “Trust is a fragile thing. Easy to break, easy to lose, and one of the hardest things to ever get back.” – Unknown

13. “Trust is not the same as faith. A friend is someone you trust. Putting faith in anyone is a mistake.” – Christopher Hitchens

14. “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

15. “It’s hard to trust when all you have from the past is evidence of why you shouldn’t.” – Unknown

16. “‘It was a mistake,’ you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” – David Levithan

17. “Be careful who you trust. If someone will discuss others with you, they will certainly discuss you with others.” – Unknown

18. “I don’t trust anybody. Not anybody. And the more that I care about someone, the more sure I am they’re going to get tired of me and take off.” – Rainbow Rowell

19. “To trust people is a luxury in which only the wealthy can indulge; the poor cannot afford it.” – E.M. Forster

20. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen R. Covey

21. “The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you are not worth the truth.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

22. “Don’t trust too much, don’t love too much, and don’t hope too much. Because that too much can hurt you so much.” – Unknown

23. “Don’t ever break someone’s trust. Once you do, then nobody wants to do business with you.” – Robert Budi Hartono

24. “Trust is not simply a matter of truthfulness or even constancy. It is also a matter of amity and goodwill. We trust those who have our best interests at heart, and mistrust those who seem deaf to our concerns.” – Gary Hamel

25. “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” – Frank Crane

26. “Loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.” – Julianne Moore

27. “There are ways you can trust an enemy. You can’t always trust a friend. An enemy’s never going to betray your trust.” – Daniel Abraham

28. “Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.” – Joyce Brothers

29. “People with anxiety and trust issues find themselves drawn to people of consistency because they feel safe with someone predictable. However, that doesn’t cure the problem. The anxious person remains the same because anxiety is a wave that crashes on the shore every time an unpredictable circumstance challenges their expectations and comfort zone.” – Shannon L. Alder

Vedi anche: 21 passi fondamentali per ricostruire la fiducia in una relazione

All Things Considered…

If you’ve been struggling with trust issues that have started to take control of your life, this article is right up your alley.

Your lack of trust can’t be ‘cured’ overnight, but now you’re armed with the tools you need to start rebuilding trust and get your life back on track!

Affrontare i propri demoni fa paura, ma vivere la propria vita tenendosi costantemente indietro fa ancora più paura! Perdonate chi vi ha fatto del male al solo scopo di andare avanti e fare tabula rasa.

Meriti essere felici. Tutto ciò che serve è sforzo e perseveranza. Abbiate fiducia in voi stessi e vi assicuro che un giorno riuscirete a superarlo.

Vedi anche: Imparare a fidarsi dell'universo in 10 semplici passi