No amount of love you feel toward a person should ever replace your dignity or lower your standards. No amount of fear that you might feel when you think about being single should let you allow someone else to treat you like shit.
Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
Think about this: How important is love if you are not respected, valued, appreciated or treated the way you deserve to be treated by the person you love?
How important is it to have someone next to you if that someone treats you like shit? You have no idea until you’ve had the chance to feel it all on your skin.
I’ve been there you know, and I can tell you, there is nothing worse than being with someone who makes you feel miserable all the time.
There is nothing worse, even staying single for the rest of your life, than allowing another human being to constantly drag your spirit down.
See, I’m the type of person who’s constantly led by her feelings and therefore it may happen at times that my feelings cloud my judgment or that I think up irrational things that I probably wouldn’t if I didn’t overthink like I normally do. And taking all this and mixing it together, I let myself get attached to someone who treated me like shit.
While I stayed at home, he went and partied like there was no tomorrow. While I was planning a future for us, he lived like there was no tomorrow. While I couldn’t have been quicker to pick up the phone when he called, it took him hours to reply to a text.
While I was giving him all my kindness and putting him on a pedestal, he couldn’t have treated me with less respect or shoved me any lower down his priority list. And yet, I stuck by his side.
I thought I should have been happy to have someone next to me, that it was all part of a relationship. I thought that I was one of the lucky ones who had found her soulmate, even though that ‘soulmate’ was more of a nightmare. Never for a second did I think that being alone would be better than being in a toxic relationship.
I should’ve been happy to have someone next to me but the reality couldn’t have been more different to be honest. Because this person I had next to me didn’t make me happy.
He just made me doubt my worth, doubt if I was good enough and almost convinced me that he was the best I could get because I was so bad that there was no one else who would want to love me, deliberately and all on his own.
See, out of fear of being alone, I held on for so long to someone who treated me like I was the most irrelevant thing in this world, like I was worth nothing.
See, out of fear of being judged or marked as not good enough to be wanted by someone else, I jumped into a toxic relationship and I called it love. And I did all of this to myself.
I allowed other people’s opinions of me to be more important to me than how I was treated. I allowed someone to treat me like shit just because I thought that was better than being alone.
And I wish that no other human, no other girl or woman, will humiliate herself to the same point as I did.
So listen to me when I tell you: Stay single! Stay single as long as you can. Walk through life on your own with your head raised up high. Be proud of yourself with all your flaws and scars and imperfections. Love your life and work to create the life you want to have.
Stay single. Learn about the things that excite you, learn about the things you like and dislike, explore what sets your soul on fire. Love yourself the way you are and only then will you be able to love and be loved the right way by another human being.
Stay single. Fall and then rise and then fall again. If you fall thousand times, rise for the thousand and first time. Do it alone. Show yourself what you’re made of.
Stay single. Don’t rush into a relationship until you’ve seen that the person you’re giving your time, your efforts, your love and yourself to is actually worth it all.
Never be afraid to be alone—cherish it, live it. You won’t stay single forever. So don’t allow the fear you’re feeling to push you into the arms of someone who’ll emotionally destroy you.
Because it will take you years to patch your broken pieces together. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Wait for someone who deserves you. Wait for someone who will know your worth and who’ll think you’re too good for him. Wait for someone who’ll admire you and help you build yourself up or at least cheer for you while you do it yourself.
Wait until you’re the best version of yourself before you welcome someone into your life. Because only then will you know that you’re with him from the right reasons.
And only then will everything make sense. Only then you’ll be able to truly see your worth and be able to cut off of your life anyone who dares to treat you like shit.