Your relationship is rocky, work is less than ideal, your personal life is non-existent, and you’re on the verge of having health problems.
To say my life is a mess doesn’t even begin to cover it. Sound familiar?
Life feels unbearable right now and you’re finding it hard to cope due to exhaustion. But what if I told you there was a way out?
Sometimes it can feel like life is out to get you. A few unfortunate things coincide and it all starts to feel like a pattern.
What are you supposed to think?
But if you’re adamant you want to change your life, first you need to take responsibility for your own part in this predicament.
Being able to manage your problems is vital for keeping control of your sanity. If you’re struggling to maintain your perspective, I strongly suggest you keep reading.
This guide will help you directly assess the cause(s) of your disarray and tackle your issues head-on. Good luck, and don’t ever give up.
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How Do I Deal With My Messy Life?
1. Understand the root of your inner chaos
Most of the time, people get anxious and frustrated with their lives because they are afraid to actually do something about it.
So my advice is very simple. If you want to untangle your messy life, find the cause of your plight!
Things aren’t just going to magically become great – you actually have to work on it.
Self-awareness is crucial in working out your life’s messes. You must recognize that you’re standing in your own way.
If you spend your entire life complaining but never acting, you’ll never reach a permanent solution.
It’s understandable that life can become overwhelming, but that’s when you have to work twice as hard!
If this is the first time you’ve felt lost, it’s going to take a while to adjust and improve. But it all starts with your mindset.
When anxiety hits, it paralyzes you and reduces your ability to see things clearly. This manifests in feelings of helplessness and difficulty in understanding the root of your issues.
But when you understand the cause of your anxiety, it’ll help you find a way to successfully overcome it.
2. Stop measuring your happiness according to others’ success
I’m sure you’ve heard a version of this a billion times, but let me say it once more: We are all unique and on our own journey.
No two living creatures are the same, therefore, comparisons are pointless!
Your friend Becky from high school has her own hopes and dreams. Your partner has spent their whole life working on being where they are now.
And you? You should follow your own aspirations, just like they did!
What works for Becky, won’t necessarily work for you. The thing that makes your partner fulfilled, may easily have the opposite effect on you.
You are your own being. Use your own logical mind to figure out what will help you feel as content as your best friends do.
Besides, if you think that everybody just wakes up one day and has their entire lives figured out, you’d be dead wrong.
Everyone works like hell to get to where they are. Instead of comparing, spend some time re-evaluating your priorities and do whatever it is you feel inspired to do!
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3. Do whatever the hell makes you happy
Whether it’s a long vacation with your true love, finding a better job, a night out with your best friends, or waking up the next day whenever the hell you want, just do it!
As a woman who has been through her fair share of messiness, I can honestly say: fu*ck the nay-sayers!
Go after that dream job you’ve been working so hard for. Ask that girl (or guy) out and take a much-needed vacation from your life.
You deserve a break! You deserve to figure out what that void is and how to make yourself feel whole again.
It’s not selfish to put yourself first. It’s not selfish to follow your passion no matter where it takes you.
Find that thing that inspires you to keep pushing and stick to it!
Your disposition greatly affects how you feel and how you observe the life that is happening around you. Find the courage to pave your own way because that is your guide toward inner peace.
Who cares what anyone thinks? Your life, your choices, your happiness!
4. Slow your roll
Take deep breaths. Inhale, exhale. Have a sip of coffee (just the way you love it), listen to some relaxing tunes, and play with your dog.
Start your days in a calm, serene manner. Don’t overwhelm yourself with chores and tasks.
Take it step by step. When you put too much on your plate, you run the risk of burning out.
Starting your days off right is crucial. Make sure you have a little routine that allows you to de-stress before you begin each day.
This will help you set your priorities for the day, and figure out what’s important and what can wait. Just slow down your roll.
The world isn’t going to end if you don’t get a hundred things done in a day. Doing this to yourself is one of the reasons you think my life is a mess.
It really doesn’t have to be. Set your agenda for each day and don’t pressure yourself unnecessarily. You’re doing just fine.
Control your thought process and stop negative thoughts from pervading your mind. You don’t want to get too caught up in your head.
Only when you take a step back will you realize how easy it can be to disconnect and eliminate unnecessary drama from your life.
5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Leave self-pity at the door and change your attitude. Not only does it not help, but it’s counter-productive to your emotional healing.
Do you know what will actually make a change? Determination and effort. If you’re here for the pity party, I’m sorry to disappoint you.
I strongly believe that the only way toward a happy life is to make a conscious effort every single day. Feeling sorry for yourself is the opposite of that.
Encourage yourself to find joy in the small things around you. Make yourself happy when no one else can! Be your own hero.
If we all depended on others to feel content, nobody would ever be happy. So don’t continue along this path to self-destruction.
If you’re not happy with the way your life is, change it. If you’re miserable at your job, quit.
If your partner isn’t treating you right, leave. If your friends suck, stop hanging around them!
Self-pity combined with the inability to make a difference in your own life is a dangerous mix. Don’t fall into that trap, you know better!
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6. Find closure on issues you’ve been carrying for a long time
Do you know what I realized my issue was a while back? I just kept feeling like I was stuck in this rut where nothing ever went my way.
I was always miserable in my love life, as well as my personal life and I couldn’t get to the bottom of it. How can one person feel so held back with no apparent reason?
But there was a reason. I carried so many unresolved issues with me that they all just kept holding me back. I neglected the importance of emotional self-care.
I was never the type of girl who’d face her demons or be honest about her feelings when it was uncomfortable. I would just bottle it up.
And going through life like that was like carrying an actual physical burden on my back wherever I went. This is why you need to trust me when I say this: don’t leave things unresolved.
Deal with every single thing that’s on your mind right now. Allow yourself to get rid of the constant burden. Trust me, it’s the key to a happier life.
Afterward, set clear boundaries and don’t let anyone cross them again.
I’ve come to realize that constant scrolling through my socials has been extremely detrimental to my well-being. The thing is, most of what you see isn’t real.
People tweet whatever the hell they want and post photos that make them seem more fabulous than they’ll ever be!
But most people are going through the same things you are, they just mask it well.
It took some health issues and a mental health check for me to finally see the warning signs that I was slowly burning out.
In order to lead a fulfilling life, it’s necessary to step away from your socials. It’s a small step toward a better you.
This will grant you the ability to re-evaluate your life. It will give you a whole new perspective that will be based on real life as opposed to virtual reality.
You don’t need to see what others are up to. Trust me, they’re all fighting their own battles.
Whether you’re just out of high school or a 35-year-old entrepreneur, the rules are the same.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But what if it isn’t?
8. Turn to people who are rooting for you
There’s nothing I cherish more than my small circle of phenomenal women who know me inside out.
Those are the people I can call at 4 am knowing they’ll pick up. They put a smile on my face when I’m struggling to say a word. They bring out the best in me.
Find your tribe and nurture those relationships. Find those few individuals who know the real you and don’t let them go.
You will need them more than ever when life throws you a curveball. They will help you deal with life’s messes when you’re not strong enough to handle the adversities coming your way.
And remember, it’s about quality, not quantity. You could have two phenomenal friends who’d do anything for you and it would be more than enough.
As long as you have one person you can tell your entire story to without feeling like a burden, you’re going to be okay!
Sometimes, we all just need a friend. Make sure you’re surrounded by people who are always rooting for you, and I promise you, everything will start falling into place.
See also: This Is What Selfless Love Really Means
And Finally…
Don’t let your past keep you from thriving in your present. Don’t let your clouded perspective fool you into settling for this messy life.
You only have one chance at life, so why waste it? Get rid of the ‘my life is a mess’ attitude and embrace a more positive one!
As you’ve probably figured out by now, most of your issues are a direct result of your own unwillingness to make a change.
Life doesn’t just get better all on its own. It takes a lot of willpower, perseverance, and plenty of soul-searching.
Yeah, things might be tricky now. But once you choose to do something other than complain, you’re going to witness a major transformation.
It won’t happen overnight, but soon you’ll realize that one tiny victory can propel you toward much bigger ones. All it takes is just one step in the right direction.
Chase your dreams, get out of your toxic relationship, and find a job that fulfills you! As cliched as it is, you really are the creator of your own destiny.
In the words of the marvelous John Keats: “Impossible is for the unwilling’’.
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