The truth is that I was never a girl who asked for much and you know this very well.
I never expected you to pay things for me, to buy me expensive gifts, to take me out to fancy dinner parties or to pay for exotic trips.
I never asked you to disregard your life completely or to put it on hold just because I’d become a part of it.
I never asked you to forget all about your family and friends and I never asked for me to become the center of your universe and the only person important to you.
I never asked you to change the essence of who you were just to please me.
When I come to think of it, I never asked you for much.
I just wanted your love, respect and appreciation. And you couldn’t even give me that.
On the other hand, truth be told, I did a lot for you. I often sacrificed myself and my own well-being to meet your needs.
As long as we were together, I was always putting you first. I was always there to have your back, to support you and to push you forward.
I was always there to catch you when you fell and to wait for you with my arms and heart wide open.
I was always there to be your safety net, your lover and your best friend.
I was always there to take care of you and to do everything in my power to make you the happiest man alive.
Don’t get me wrong—I am not trying to rub these things in your face.
Because let’s face it—you never explicitly asked me to do any of them. And even if you had, I always had the option of saying no.
The fact is that I did all of this for you because I loved you. And because I thought that was how things should be in a mature relationship.
I thought my duty as your girlfriend and life partner was to be there for you and to give you my hand when you needed it.
And the fact is that I would do it all over again, if I just had the chance.
I don’t want you to think that I am mentioning all of this because I expect some kind of gratitude from you.
I never needed you to tell me thank you for anything because that is not why I did all the things I did.
I never needed you to repay me, as if my kindness directed toward you was some kind of debt.
As a matter of fact, I would hate myself if I knew that any of the things you did for me or any of the love you gave me was the product of your gratitude.
But the truth is that you could have at least appreciated my love and my sacrifices. The truth is that you could have at least appreciated me and everything I gave you.
At least sometimes, you could have shown me some respect, instead of acting like all of the things I did for you were implied and expected of me.
I never wanted a crown or to be put on a pedestal but I did want you to put me at the top of your priority list, if nothing else.
Because after all this time, this is what hurts me the most. It hurts me that you are, always were and always will be an ungrateful asshole.
It’s not the fact that you stopped loving me even though honestly, even now I still have feelings for you.
It’s not the fact that you walked away from me and left me behind, without thinking of the way you emotionally damaged me.
It’s not the fact that you moved on with your life, the moment you turned your back on me, leaving me in the past, while I still haven’t gotten over you.
It’s not even the pain you put me through during our relationship. Because with time, I learned to live with everything you did to me.
Yes, these are all the things that caused me a lot of pain but somehow I accepted them and I got over them.
Besides, these are all the things I’ve forgiven you for.
But the only thing that hurts me until this day and the thing I can never forgive you for is the fact that you never appreciated me.
It’s the fact that nothing I ever did for you was ever enough.
And that was what actually damaged me the most. That was the thing which made me question my worth and which made me feel insecure.
And that is the thing which showed me what kind of a man you actually are. It showed me that you never deserved a place in my life and that you never will.
